We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.
With more and more people taking an interest in polyamory and non-monogamy - including celebs like Willow Smith and Bella Thorne - we're predicting it's going to be one of the biggest dating trends for 2024. But trying out a new relationship style, especially one that goes against the traditional model can be tricky: from navigating jealousy to deciding whether to tell friends and family. That's before we even get into the lingo! So, if you're wanting to try opening up this year - or just want to know the difference between polyamory and ethical non-monogamy - we've rounded up some of the best non-fiction books to help you brush up your knowledge.
The Ethical Slut by Jenet Hardy and Dossie Easton
The Ethical Slut by Jenet Hardy and Dossie Easton
This is probably *the* most well known book about polyamory. Originally published in the 90s (retro), it lays out a manifesto for reclaiming the term 'slut' as a badge of power. It was also one of the first books to explore the practicalities of living a non-monogamous lifestyle.
Designer Relationships by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
Forget fashion, this year, 'designer' is all about relationships. Whether you're thinking of trying polyamory, opening up your relationship, or even exploring what monogamy actually means to you, this book is for anyone looking to choose their own adventure in love.
Love's Not Color Blind by Kevin A. Patterson
Love's Not Color Blind by Kevin A. Patterson
Loves Not Color Blind explores the experiences, issues, and joys of people of colour who practice non-monogamy. In order to make polyamorous communities more inclusive, this book puts forward a framework through research, interviews, and personal testimony for confronting the racism within them.
The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy by Lola Phoenix
The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy by Lola Phoenix
Want to try non-monogamy but worried you might be too anxiously attached? This is the book for you. Lola Phoenix calls upon her years of personal experience to put forward an accessible guide to navigating jealousy, communication, and judgement in non-monogamy.
Probably one of the most well known books on polyamory, Polysecure is a practical guide to everything non-monogamy, using attachment theory as a framework.
Part memoir, part journalist investigation, Rachel Krantz shares her experiences with non-monogamy in this honest, funny, and informative book.
From the author of Girl Sex 101 comes this fun, readable, and unflinching guide to shame-free sexual exploration; whether you're single and lovin' it, been in a relationships for years and years, or looking to dip your toes into the waters of polyamory.
Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran
While not necessarily polyamorous, this books explores how anyone can take control of their relationship, and step off the traditional relationship escalator in order to create more fulfilling connections.
Salacious, candid, and funny as hell, BoySlut is part memoir, part book of essays which is guaranteed to make you blush. Sex writer Zachary Zane deep dives into his personal experiences with non-monogamy and bisexuality in this moving and relatable book.
Read an extract here.
Lois Shearing is Cosmoplitan's Former Senior Sex and Relationship Writer. They have been writing about sex, sexuality, gender, politics, and relationships for almost ten years. Their writing on these topics has appeared in Mashable, The Independent, Metro, The Advocate, and Byline Times, among others. In 2021, they published their first book, Bi the Way with JKP. They are currently working on two other books, set to be published in 2024. In a previous life, they worked as a content marketer and content writer for various tech start-ups. They continue to be interested in the tech sector and its impact on our lives, relationships, and work, with particular regard to the ways AI will shape our relationships in the future. Outside of work, they are deeply passionate about queer community organising, and run the only support resource for bisexual survivors of sexual violence in the UK: the Bi Survivors Network. You can find them on Instagram and X.
Millie Court is the host of our brand new podcast!
![from lifted entertainmentlove island: sr13 on itv2 and itvxepisode 38pictured: julia, lorenzothis photograph is (c) itv and can only be reproduced for editorial purposes directly in connection with the programme or event mentioned above, or itv plc. this photograph must not be manipulated [excluding basic cropping] in a manner which alters the visual appearance of the person photographed deemed detrimental or inappropriate by itv plc picture publicity. this photograph must not be syndicated to any other company, publication or website, or permanently archived, without the express written permission of itv picture publicity. full terms and conditions are available on the website www.itv.com/presscentre/itvpictures/terms](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/87336bdf-dfe1-4e0e-8fa5-45d0494f50e2.jpg?crop=0.565xw:1.00xh;0.205xw,0&resize=360:* "How to tell your friend you don’t like their partner")
Don’t like your friend’s partner? Read this
Is ‘don’t settle’ a toxic ideal in relationships?
Inside our podcast launch party with Millie Court
![from lifted entertainmentlove island: sr13 on itv2 and itvxepisode 40pictured: aidan, finley.this photograph is (c) itv and can only be reproduced for editorial purposes directly in connection with the programme or event mentioned above, or itv plc. this photograph must not be manipulated [excluding basic cropping] in a manner which alters the visual appearance of the person photographed deemed detrimental or inappropriate by itv plc picture publicity. this photograph must not be syndicated to any other company, publication or website, or permanently archived, without the express written permission of itv picture publicity. full terms and conditions are available on the website www.itv.com/presscentre/itvpictures/terms](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/addbfe89-969c-4ccd-89db-b33949db11fe.jpg?crop=0.564xw:1.00xh;0.436xw,0&resize=360:* "from lifted entertainmentlove island: sr13 on itv2 and itvxepisode 40pictured: aidan, finley.this photograph is (c) itv and can only be reproduced for editorial purposes directly in connection with the programme or event mentioned above, or itv plc. this photograph must not be manipulated [excluding basic cropping] in a manner which alters the visual appearance of the person photographed deemed detrimental or inappropriate by itv plc picture publicity. this photograph must not be syndicated to any other company, publication or website, or permanently archived, without the express written permission of itv picture publicity. full terms and conditions are available on the website www.itv.com/presscentre/itvpictures/terms")
