As you may well have noticed, we’re all kinda burnt out from dating.

Whether it’s the rise of ‘dating doomscrolling’, the burgeoning TikTok celibacy movement, or the fact that many women are swearing off heterosexual dating all together and instead going ‘boy sober’, there is some serious change in the air.

Disillusioned with the fairytale that we’re going to end up with the love of our lives aged 25, get married a couple of years later, and then settle down in the suburbs, modern women are realising that, well, life sadly doesn’t always work like that.

Instead, individuals are increasingly realising that romantic love might not be the pinnacle of their lives and self-fulfilment. This is especially true for women who are attracted to men, as many begin to unpick the impact that forces such as sexism, gendered labour, and compulsory heterosexuality have had in their lives.

And, as it turns out, Emily Ratajkowski is among these women. In a new interview in Vogue, the model spoke in conversation with author Sarah Manguso to discuss her latest novel Liars, which explores cheating and divorce. Within the conversation, Emily and Sarah went deep on topics like divorce, gendered labour, and patriarchy within heterosexual relationships.

EmRata has already become known for subverting narratives around divorce — celebrating her newfound romantic freedom by turning her engagement ring into two divorce rings — and she elaborated further within the conversation to share that she has deprioritised men.

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“Decentralising men has been a huge part of my life,” she said. “I still love men in many ways, but the Disney fairytale I had once embraced of being chosen and building a life while being desirable to one man and keeping a man and all that, I just don’t find that interesting anymore.”

And according to Em, this approach to focussing on herself instead of the pursuit of heterosexual love has hugely shifted her life. “It’s opened so much space up in my life in so many incredible ways,” she explained.

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Megan Wallace
Former Sex and Relationships Editor

Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Former Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance. They have covered sexuality and relationships for over five years and are the founder of the PULP zine, which publishes essays on culture and sex. In their spare time, they can be found exploring the London kink scene and planning dates on Feeld.