Paloma Elsesser knows exactly how she wants to use her platform. The 34-year-old supermodel has been an advocate and activist for many things since she was discovered on Instagram in 2014 and became an overnight success. This time, what she’s fighting for is even more personal and meaningful.
Throughout her teen years, Paloma struggled with alcohol and drug abuse, and in 2019, she lost a best friend to an overdose. The devastating experience was both a wake-up call and the thing that helped shape the next chapter of her life. Now 15 years sober, Paloma tells Cosmopolitan she wants to support others battling addiction as she works closely with the nonprofit organization End Overdose to help educate people on naloxone, a lifesaving medication used to rapidly reverse an opioid overdose.
Your honesty and openness around sobriety is beautiful. What is it like sharing your life experiences so candidly?
Vulnerability always begets vulnerability, and it never is a disservice if it reaches a single person. It’s obviously scary to be so open, but it’s also a privilege to be perceived and known in a way that people can relate to.
When I think about sobriety now while looking back at my younger self, sometimes I catch myself saying, “She was more fun.” What would you say to those who feel similarly?
I spent my 20s sober. I had to get uncomfortable in uncomfortable situations. The party girl still very much resides within me. It is but my truth. I love the night, so that is a part of my whimsy. It’s the essence of it that I enjoy and what I maintain is connection. I try and engage my childlike wonder as much as I can, because that girl who was out there was fun, but she was also marred with depression. I was fearless, and I think I want to keep that part of me, because even though I was super afraid, I also was fearless. I work hard to protect her and what she didn’t have.
What has navigating friendships in the fashion industry been like as someone who is sober?
I always say I like to go where it’s warm, go where I’m safe. I want to be safe for other people, but I do think it’s hard because the fashion industry is extremely superficial. People glamorize drug and alcohol use, and it’s rife with addiction and behavioral issues, so I try to be someone that people can feel safe around.
What does community look like for you right now?
The relationships I have with other sober women have been super powerful. I think it’s beyond inspiring, so healing, so essential to my development in navigating everything. I don’t have the privilege of “pouring a drink on top of my feelings,” so I need to be able to resource people who can understand that experience. Otherwise, it can be quite isolating. I also rely on my family and team. I have created a gentle, harmonious system around me.
How do you tell people you don’t drink? Are you more casual about it, or do you go deep?
I don’t overexplain. I just casually am like, “Trust me, you don’t want me to drink.” If people ask why, I’m totally open, because you don’t know who you’re going to touch when you share that.
What are the biggest misconceptions people have about drug use?
Addiction and drug use touch every community, every type of person, from color to creed, background, and finances. I hope that talking about its simplicity and its power, people will be like, “Oh, it’s not this scary thing.” If you’re going to even casually or recreationally do drugs, naloxone should also always be present.
What would be your advice for someone else if they suspect a friend or family member is maybe abusing drugs or alcohol and it’s looking like they’re not in a good space?
You want to give everyone the dignity of their own experience, but it is a dangerous world out there. It’s important to be like, “Hey, there is an easier, softer way to do this. Live your life, and if it is something that you’re curious about or you’re seeing the damage of this in your life, come holler at me.” But I think trying to save people prevents them from growth.
What are the biggest unseen struggles when it comes to addiction?
It is like an allergy. I don’t respond to alcohol like a “normal person.” Some people can have two drinks and go home; I can’t do that. People see it as a choice, and I think that really prevents people from getting the help that they need.
As you get older, how are you addressing the endless comments people make about your body?
I am a human. I am also extremely emotionally porous. I have grown such a thicker skin and understanding around why hate and vitriol is launched at our bodies. It has little to do with me and little to do with you and everything to do with the responsibility of others and the world and systems that we exist in. We end up getting put into this fucking horrific vacuum, but I have just almost emotionally extricated myself from being in it.
To learn more, check out End Overdose.
Aiyana Ishmael is the style editor at Cosmopolitan magazine. In her work, Aiyana focuses on the culture of fashion and how it intertwines and shapes the zeitgeist. She is an award-winning journalist from Miami, Florida, and a graduate of the historically Black university, Florida A&M. She is a 2024 Forbes 30 Under 30: Media honoree, and her debut romance novella PASSING GAME is set to release March of 2027 (831 Stories/Simon & Schuster).
