10 Best Sex Positions for Beginners, According to Sex Experts
From missionary to cowgirl, these expert-approved positions make first-time sex less intimidating.
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Having sex for the first time can feel exciting, nerve-wracking, awkward, and hot all at once. And if you're wondering what exactly you're supposed to do with your body, trust me, you're definitely not alone. That's where sex positions for beginners come in. The right position can help you feel more comfortable, more connected to your partner, and a little less focused on whether you're "doing it right" (not a real thing, by the way).
"Before we get into the list, it's worth remembering that good sex isn't about performing or checking boxes. It should feel good for you, too. “Sex, the first time or any time, should be for your pleasure just as much as your partner's,” says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy and author of Eve's Blessing: Uncovering the Lost Pleasure Behind Female Pain. One of the best ways to figure out what you enjoy is by getting familiar with your own body first, whether that's through masturbation, exploring different types of touch, or simply learning what feels good.
It's also important to remember that sex doesn't have to revolve around penetration. It can mean oral sex, mutual masturbation, clitoral stimulation, or whatever feels pleasurable and comfortable for you and your partner. And despite what movies or porn would have you believe, it doesn't have to end in orgasm either.
If penetration is something you want to explore, take things slowly. Foreplay, communication, lube, and condoms can go a long way toward making the experience more comfortable and enjoyable. Most importantly, give yourself permission to be a beginner. First-time sex can be a little strange, and that's completely normal. Ahead, the best sex positions for beginners that prioritize comfort, connection, and pleasure over trying to impress anyone.
Kneeling Missionary
If you’re opting for missionary for your first time, have the giver kneel instead of lying on top of you. “This leaves room for your hands or your partner's hands to touch your clitoris, or for you to use a toy on your clitoris,” says Weiss. Dual-stimulation (aka: internal and external stimulation at the same time) can feel amazing—and can increase your chances of orgasm.
The Lap Dance
Sit your partner on a chair or couch and climb onto their lap. “This allows you to control the depth, motion, and speed of penetration while also allowing for eye contact, kissing, intimacy, and a feeling of being physically supported,” says Weiss. If you’re both into toys, try a wearable couple’s vibrator to enhance the sensations.
The Dragon
If your partner has a large penis, try a face-down position. Instead of a fast in-and-out thrusting, slow circular movements can make this so, so good. “This can make deep penetration more comfortable by limiting contact with the cervix, which tends to be sensitive. Try elevating your hips and arching your back a bit to improve the angle of entry,” suggests ob-gyn Renée Hilliard, MD, a sex and relationships coach.
Classic Missionary
“Missionary position is often thought of as boring, but it doesn’t have to be,” Hilliard says. “It allows for eye contact, but if that feels like too much, missionary can allow you to kiss but feel less exposed since your body is mostly covered by your partner. Also, if you feel shy about how to move, missionary can make things simple.”
Leaning Cowgirl
You get all the benefits of the cowgirl position (controlling the speed, angle, and depth) with a little bonus. “Leaning forward allows more pressure on the clitoris and can make it easier to reach peak pleasure,” says Hilliard. “Don’t freak out if you become disconnected; that happens. Just reinsert and resume.”
The Erotic Explorer
If it’s your first time being really sexual with someone, it’s totally fine to start with masturbating at the same time. If you want to take it a step further, reach over to stroke each other. If you’re lost, it’s always okay to just ask. But when in doubt, just pay attention to how they touch themselves and use that as a starting point.
The Spoonful
Simple: Your partner gets in outer spoon position, puts one leg over your body, and enters you from behind. The spooning position can feel especially intimate and comfortable for first-timers, since you're physically supported and don't have to worry as much about maintaining eye contact. Plus, if you'd like, you have a free hand to touch yourself at the same time.
The Sideways Swoon
First-time sex is all about connecting with someone in an incredibly intimate way. If you want to lean into that, try a side-by-side position. You can gaze into each other’s eyes, stroke each other's hair, plus the angle isn't known for especially deep penetration, which can be a welcome change if you're not looking to be pounded into next week.
Mission(ary) Impossible
It’s a classic for a reason. For more control, instead of going straight into legs-wide-open missionary, assume the usual position, but curl your legs up in front of you (kind of like the "happy baby" yoga pose). Everything will still line up as intended, but if you need to slow your partner down, you can use your legs to help guide the pace.
The Frisky Doggy
Doggy is a great bet for first-time sex because all you have to do is get on all fours! Press your legs together if you want or need shallow penetration and open wider for deeper penetration. Rock your hips a little, or don’t—it’s all up to you! Use a hand to press a bullet vibrator to your clitoris if you're craving more sensations there.
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