Sex isn't important to everyone, and that's absolutely fine. So many of us make assumptions about other people's attitudes towards and interest in sex, which is wrong and harmful. But for those of us who love shagging, how important is sexual compatibility (however you define that, personally) in our relationships? Here, women who have broken up with people because they didn't feel they were sexually compatible, share their experiences.
1. "Hooked up with a longtime friend after a graduation party. We made out, went on a couple of dates but anytime we tried to go further it was just like... speaking in different languages. We wanted and expected different things, and even though we were both good communicators, we basically just laid there the second night and were like, 'Soo... this isn't working right? Wanna go back to being friends?' We became roommates three months later and she met her future husband like a month after that." [via]
2. "He stopped caring about my orgasms. We'd have conversations about it, but he would 'forget' or some other BS excuse." [via]
3. "I had an issue with an ex. We were an interracial couple and his parents weren't very supportive of that. He wanted to wait until marriage and told me if we didn't get married, he would be arranged to someone from his culture. I didn't want to wait until marriage and wanted to get married after years of dating, so that was an issue for me. So, sex played a part in our break up." [via]
4. "My ex was the most selfish person I’ve ever met and he’d make me feel bad for wanting sex more often (since I was never satisfied). I realised he just didn’t care and he’d never change. Also I doubt he even liked it with me after the excitement was over. It’s now one of my top priorities in compatibility. I’m never putting up with that again, it’s so much fun when you’re with someone who cares AND wants it just as much." [via]
5. "After it took six months for them to sleep with me and then they kept going flaccid when we finally tried. We broke up immediately after. He said it was because I was too intimidating so I've made it a point to only go out with subs or switches with similar sex drives to me since." [via]
6. "I wanted sex more often than I was getting it, but when I'd try to initiate he would often opt to lie next to me and masturbate instead. In a double standard move, he didn't like it if I decided to touch myself because that was 'nasty'. When it kept happening, I asked him why he wasn't more interested in sex with me when I was right there and already touching him, and he told me it was because he wasn't that attracted to me physically and thought I needed to lose some weight." [via]
7. "I'm a very sexual person and once dated a guy who I now know just wasn't into sex. He made a lot of excuses about how he'd been a late bloomer sexually and was therefore awkward/nervous around the whole subject. But he only ever talked about sex as something that would give me pleasure, and often as something he had no inherent reason for enjoying. He also had a lot of trouble getting and maintaining an erection, despite claiming to find me very attractive." [via]
8. "With my ex, the first year we had sex probably twice a week because thats how often I'd spend the night at his place. We dated for almost three years and the last two we never had sex. I'm now engaged to a man whose sex drive matches mine and I cant believe how much time I wasted being unsatisfied in my prior relationship." [via]
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