When it comes to break-ups, some things are absolutely non-negotiable. A debrief with your besties, a duvet day, and a big cry are essential elements of getting over the end of a romance, whether you’re the one who initiated it, your ex did, or it was pretty mutual.
Even if your relationship ended on amicable terms (can’t relate), there are an abundance of feelings to work through when you call time on a romance, like grieving for the future you once planned together, dealing with the impact it will have on shared friendship dynamics, or simply having to give back that borrowed band t-shirt you’ve come to know and love as your cosiest pyjama top.
The loss of intimacy is also something to get used to. Although for many, that intimacy doesn’t always end the moment a relationship does. Whether it’s a passionate, emotionally-fuelled final hook-up or an encounter that blurs the line between closure and confusion, sex can linger long after the emotional cracks have started to show, both in real life and on the big screen.
Luckily, there are plenty of cinematic break-up sex scenes to remind us that we’re not alone in what we’re going through. We’re not the first, and we certainly won’t be the last.
From the seared-in-our-minds-forever dick-dangling break-up in Forgetting Sarah Marshall to the silent-but-says-it-all shower scene in Like Crazy, here are 10 of the best break-up sex scenes in movies to help you get through whatever it is you’re feeling. Now, snuggle up under your duvet and queue up your Watch List. Emotional support popcorn and your favourite sex toy, optional.
A quick note for those who are sticklers for the rules: some of these are traditional sex scenes, some are sexy intimate moments, and others are cringe-inducing rather than erotic. Some are mid-break-up, some are post-break-up, and some are ex-lovers reuniting after years apart. Either way, a caution: you must resist the urge to text your ex while you watch them.
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10 of the best break-up sex scenes
Closer (2004)
“Why isn’t love enough?” Alice (Natalie Portman) asks Dan (Jude Law), tears streaming down her face. “I’m the one who’s supposed to leave you. I’m the one who leaves,” she adds, before standing up and kissing him urgently. Although the scene doesn’t get any hotter than that, the desperation in their kiss and the depth of emotion beneath it is not only steamy as hell, but also super relatable for, well, anyone who’s ever broken up with someone they still have feelings for.
Normal People (2020)
Arguably most of the intimate scenes in Normal People are break-up sex scenes (or, at least, post-break-up sex scenes) because Marianne (Daisy Edgar-Jones) and Connell (Paul Mescal) are breaking up and making up throughout the series. But there’s a one particularly good one in episode five (26 mins in, FYI), when they have sex for the first time since their break-up, after reuniting at uni. It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for! And, in part thanks to the actors’ sexual chemistry and the amazing work of intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien, the scene is beautiful, erotic, and super realistic. We love!
The Notebook (2004)
It’s one of the most iconic kisses in movie history — so iconic, in fact, that it won Best Kiss at the 2005 MTV Movie Awards (during the ceremony, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams recreated the moment, and if you haven’t seen it, may we suggest you Google it right now).
You know the scene: after being broken up for several years, Noah (Gosling) and Allie (McAdams) reunite, realise they both still love each other, and, standing in the pouring rain, they finally — and passionately! — kiss. And dw, this kissing turns into a very, very hot sex scene.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
If we just forget for a moment that he-who-shall-not-be-named (read: Russell Brand) is in this movie, then Forgetting Sarah Marshall is an absolute must-watch for anyone going through a break-up. The film hilariously charts the realities of splitting up with someone who you’re still absolutely obsessed with, and is full of relatable moments from start to finish.
Of course, the movie opens with one of the most iconic break-up sex(-adjacent) scenes of all time, too. Jason Segel as Peter steps out of the shower with a “surprise” for his then-girlfriend, Kristen Bell as Sarah. As he stands there in little more than a towel, she unceremoniously breaks up with him... leaving more than just his dick dangling.
Orange is the New Black (2013-2019)
As soon as it’s revealed that Piper (Taylor Schilling) has been put in the same prison as her ex-girlfriend Alex (Laura Prepon), it’s clear — to us, at least, if not them — that, at some point, they’re going to hook up. And lo and behold, in episode nine of season one, it finally happens! After several episodes of watching them flirt, argue, and make it obvious that neither of them is over the other, the sexual tension breaks and they have sex... in a chapel. The action starts at 52 minutes — we don’t technically see the sex, just their fervent kissing, but there’s plenty of more explicit erotic scenes between them later in the series.
Like Crazy (2011)
Sometimes, silence really says it all. And that’s exactly the case in Like Crazy’s heartwrenching shower scene. While for many, hopping in the shower with a partner is the beginning of a wet and wild encounter, for Anna (Felicity Jones) and Jacob (Anton Yelchin), it’s a cleansing end to a tumultuous relationship.
As Anna and Jacob kiss and embrace each other in the shower, not a single word is exchanged between them. Instead, as the shower’s pouring water hides the pair’s tears, viewers see flashbacks of their relationship, signalling the reality that their love affair is over.
Sex/Life (2021-2023)
Sex/Life is famously one of Netflix’s sexiest shows ever, and it’s filled with break-up sex, partner swapping, and ex lovers rekindling their sexual romance. There’s Billie (Sarah Shahi) and Brad (Adam Demos), obviously, whose past relationship — and its wild sex — is at the heart of the show; there’s Sasha (Margaret Odette) and Kam (Cleo Anthony), who reunite after breaking up 17 years earlier; there’s Sasha again healing her broken heart by having several spicy hook-ups. In short: there’s break-up sex scenes in abundance! Luckily for you, we’ve already rounded up every sexy moment in the show — you can find them all here.
Notting Hill (1999)
Ah, Notting Hill. One of the greatest romcoms ever made, obvi. The break-up sex scene follows Anna (Julia Roberts) turning up at Will’s (Hugh Grant) door unannounced, six months after he was heartbroken by the revelation that she has a movie star boyfriend. We don’t technically see the sex — just some v tender kissing! — but we do see the next morning, where it all goes wrong, making this a make-up and break-up (admittedly PG) sex scene.
Scenes from a Marriage (2021)
In Scenes from a Marriage, we follow the breakdown of Mira (Jessica Chastain) and Jonathan’s (Oscar Isaac) marriage — from their initial separation to their divorce to their secret and tumultuous reunions over the following years. There’s loads of sexual tension and plenty of sex scenes, including in episode four, as they’re packing up their shared home. It’s urgent, illicit, and features a little cunnilingus, which we still don’t see enough of on screen.
It’s Complicated (2002)
There are few things more absurd than seeing Alec Baldwin cup Meryl Streep’s vulva and say, “Home sweet home”. The pair are playing exes Jake and Jane, who’ve been divorced for 10 years when they hook up at their son’s graduation after a night of drinking and dancing. Again, this isn’t an explicit sex scene, but the moment after is #relatable for anyone who’s slept with an ex and kinda immediately regretted it (in a funny, not traumatic way, obvs) — oh, and also for anyone who’s puked right after sex! Representation <3
Bridgerton (2020-present)
There’s a lot of arguing between our Bridgerton couples that leads to very steamy make-up sex. In season one, Daphne (Phoebe Dynevor) and Simon (Regé-Jean Page) are maybe the best example of this, with their conflict leading to one particularly notable (and hot) scene, where Simon ends up going down on Daphne on the staircase. It’s episode seven, around 12 minutes in — you’re welcome!
