Jack Nicholson's daughter, Lorraine Nicholson, is not holding back when it comes to her peers in Hollywood.
In an essay for W Magazine, Jack Nicholson’s daughter called out status chasing in Los Angeles, writing that “L.A. has established itself as the status-anxiety capital of the world, a city where people will chase clout to the grave.”
She added that the “average status conscious Angeleno” is obsessed with optimizing sleep with Oura rings, expensive sound machines, supplements from “their most RFK Jr.-coded friends,” and early meals. After all, “the status dinner is no longer about what you’re eating, but when. In Los Angeles, it’s perfectly acceptable to eat dinner out of a tin before the sun sets, standing alone in your high-contrast Calacatta kitchen.”
Lorraine then jokes about celebs spending thousands on status-y coffee, saying “If you’re truly somebody, your personal chef will top the coffee with raw milk before your assistant—who was up hours before you—hands it to you as you get into your Escalade mobile office, complete with first-class seats, Wi-Fi, and a 43-inch flat-screen TV.”
She went on to call out nutritionists who “tell you what carbs are acceptable to eat based on your blood type,” personal trainers being the new status symbol for people who used to go to the gym, the general obsession with skincare and plastic surgery, “it” spots like Polo Lounge and the Sunset Tower, and—of course—Erewhon.
Lorraine then tackled dating, writing that “most men in L.A. are too afraid of cancellation or blind items posted on Deuxmoi to actually speak to a stranger,” and noted that “By the time you have spent thousands to become a member of the best clubs in L.A.—the Bird Streets, the San Vicente Bungalows, and Living Room—you will have learned the hard way that no matter how crispy their fries or bespoke their wallpaper, these places do not complete your life in the way you hoped they would.”
She wrapped things up by saying that UCLA is “the only mental hospital really worth recuperating at in Los Angeles.”
Read the full essay here!
