Despite balancing friendships, families, careers, and hobbies, we’ve all experienced feeling like we’re defined by only one thing in our lives. I know I’ve been impacted by this professionally; when my career is taking central focus, my routine dwindles into little more than a work-dinner-sleep combo. When things aren’t smooth, it’s all I can think about (even when other areas of my life are fab). Thankfully, there are smart people out there taking this seriously.
In his newly published book, Longevity Nation, author Michael Clinton acknowledges that centering your identity on any singular aspect of your life can get tricky, whether you’re the college athlete struggling after graduation or the CEO of 30 years shifting into retirement. His fix? “Life layering.”
“The idea is to build other identifiers or ‘personas’ throughout life so that our mental and emotional well-being isn’t dependent on us fulfilling or adhering to a single, limited identity,” he explains in his book. The feeling of sadness or confusion when you pivot away from a meaningful piece in your life isn’t bad, Clinton adds, but the goal is to prevent that feeling from taking over.
To start on your own “life layering” journey, the author recommends reflecting on whether you are currently defining yourself by one of the “three Ps”: profession (this can include school or other academic activities), partner (I’ll need to ask him if eldest daughter counts in this category), or parent. Then, instead of making that your only layer, start building on top of it.
If you knit while watching TV after work? You’re a knitter now. If you run? You’re a runner. A lot of the time, we’re already more multifaceted than we think; it’s just about actively and intentionally championing every part of our lives. Eventually, you’ll have “this big layer cake of identities” that define you equally, explains Clinton, “And the younger you start, the better.”
Well, you don’t need to tell me twice. Be back soon with a progress report!
Disclaimer: Michael Clinton is a special media advisor to the CEO of Hearst Magazines, the parent company of Cosmopolitan.
