Hello! And welcome to another episode of 'Wait… is the internet actually ok?’. On today's show, we're witnessing legendary Friends actor, Lisa Kudrow, needlessly become a focal point for men with Big Loser Energy after calling out some of the gross misogynistic and toxic behaviours that happened while filming the world's favourite sitcom.
In a recent interview with The Times, Kudrow reflected on how the show, which ran from 1994 to 2004, in many ways represented a more wholesome, innocent time. An era when six hot, young friends hung out in a local coffee shop free from the glare of AI or social media, and before the 2008 global financial crisis, endlessly having adventures dating other hot, young people.
But, she caveated, the mostly male writer team on Friends was not a beacon of harmless youthful joy. “There was definitely mean stuff going on behind the scenes,” Kudrow confessed. “If you messed up one of these writers’ lines or it didn’t get the perfect response [from the live audience] they could be like, ‘Can’t the bitch f***ing read? She’s not even trying. She f***ed up my line’.”
Equally as miserably, Kudrow added, “And we know that back in the room the guys would be up late discussing their sexual fantasies about Jennifer [Aniston] and Courteney [Cox]. It was intense.”
Calling that behaviour out, which took place in a professional workplace setting, should be entirely unremarkable. It should be as par for the course as being unable to function before your morning latte, or knowing that if you told your own office line manager to ‘f*** off Jane, you’re boring’ you’d very likely be sacked.
In fact, one female writers’ assistant, Amaani Lyle, attempted to do just that — call it out — in a 1999 sexual harassment case, in which she described having to transcribe meetings where writers would pretend to masturbate over Kudrow’s co-stars or simulate receiving oral sex from them. Lyle lost her case, with a judge essentially chalking the degrading acts and language up to being part of the creative process.
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Over 25 years on the webbed-toes section of social media is attempting to do the same, with posts on the platform X labelling Kudrow a “bitter old liberal that was the third wheel to two much hotter friends” and claiming “she just wants people to talk about how f***able she was again”. Because, yes, of course it must be that – it can’t possibly be that Kudrow simply wants to call out some BS she had to face at work, now that she’s not tied up into a thorny contractual obligation or has to see said miming-blow-job-men on the daily.
In fact, Kudrow actually went on to explain in the interview that her approach was to try and block it all out. “It could be brutal, but these guys — and it was mostly men in there — were sitting up until 3am trying to write the show so my attitude was, ‘Say what you like about me behind my back because then it doesn’t matter’.”
Others criticised Kudrow for daring to speak on the topic when, at one point, she was earning $1m per episode and highlighting she still makes an impressive amount of money in royalties, some two decades on from the final episode airing.
“‘Mostly’ men responsible for making your show entertaining demanded you make the jokes land, while paying you millions,” another typed out. “‘Mostly’ women are always playing the victim. Getting a little payback years later, against writers that made significantly less.”said another
It’s depressing and I sincerely hope Kudrow hasn’t had to see any of these lame little people, who judging from their profiles also appear to be ‘mostly men’, word vomit about her. But is it any surprise? Given that a-third of female HR bosses admit sexism still exists in their company, 40% of women have been sexually harassed at work (along with 18% of men) and data shows women are still twice as likely to face sexism on the clock, with almost one in seven being able to recall an experience. Reporting from the Young Women’s Trust shows 53% of all 18 to 30-year-old women now say they’ve faced some kind of workplace discrimination (be it related to age, gender or race), marking a three-year high.
For a long time, smiling and blocking it out was the standard operating procedure for women at work. It’s exactly what Kudrow did, while those men patted themselves on the back for their own 'genius' until the early hours of the morning. But the flailing responses from some of social media’s most fragile users does at least point to one thing: their panicked putdowns are a sign they know the tide is turning.
Like Kudrow, none of us need their approval – and if a "bitter old liberal" is what they call a wildly successful woman who simply refuses to pretend toxic men are harmless, then yep, sign me up.
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Jennifer Savin is Cosmopolitan UK's multiple award-winning Features Editor, who was crowned Digital Journalist of the Year for her work tackling the issues most important to young women. She regularly covers breaking news, cultural trends, health, the royals and more, using her esteemed connections to access the best experts along the way. She's grilled everyone from high-profile politicians to A-list celebrities, and has sensitively interviewed hundreds of people about their real life stories. In addition to this, Jennifer is widely known for her own undercover investigations and campaign work, which includes successfully petitioning the government for change around topics like abortion rights and image-based sexual abuse. Jennifer is also a published author, documentary consultant (helping to create BBC’s Deepfake Porn: Could You Be Next?) and a patron for Y.E.S. (a youth services charity). Alongside Cosmopolitan, Jennifer has written for The Times, Women’s Health, ELLE and numerous other publications, appeared on podcasts, and spoken on (and hosted) panels for the Women of the World Festival, the University of Manchester and more. In her spare time, Jennifer is a big fan of lipstick, leopard print and over-ordering at dinner. Follow Jennifer on Instagram, X or LinkedIn.
