Billie Eilish has opened up about how she suffered with nightmares after being exposed to "abusive" porn at 11-years-old, which she says "destroyed" her brain and impacted her future sexual experiences.
Speaking on SiriusXM, the singer-songwriter explained how watching porn at a young age clouded her understanding of consent, later leading her "not say no to things that were not good" when she started having sex. "I didn't understand why that was a bad thing – I thought it was how you learned how to have sex," Billie admitted.
Talking to host Howard Stern, the 19-year-old said she thinks there's a "real problem" when it comes to how porn handles consent and how this has a wider impact on society. "I thought that's what I was supposed to be attracted to," she pointed out, noting how the porn she watched was "violent" and did not accurately portray women's bodies or their experiences of sex.
But Billie isn't alone in her views on porn. Body confidence and sex positivity influencer Jess Megan agrees, telling Cosmopolitan UK that "pornography has framed sex in a terrible light for women" and "has normalised so much of the trauma and abuse women have experienced."
"I don’t hold porn fully responsible," Jess continues, "it is down to the individual to communicate and gain full, enthusiastic consent. But, when we have teenage boys and men spitting on and choking girls/women without asking, they're essentially just copying what they’ve seen. Women are fully fledged beings, not human flesh lights designed for the bidding of men."
Like Billie, Jess is concerned about how porn can pressure younger viewers into doing things they're not comfortable with. "I have noticed on TikTok, there has been evident vilification of 'vanilla' sex, branding it as boring," she stresses, explaining how this adds a "layer of shame for teenage girls who may not really enjoy rough sex, but are also highly impressionable and do not want to be viewed as boring in bed."
"Shame of this nature leads to women being inadvertently complicit within their own dehumanisation," the influencer adds.
As for whether or not porn should be cancelled altogether, Jess says that's not necessary, but instead we as society need to have a better understanding of everything that sex encompasses. "I believe there is a place for healthy, ethical pornography," she said, "but I am afraid we are overwhelmed with images of sex as non-mutual transactions. The woman is there to look good, submit and make no noise unless it’s to communicate utter euphoria."
She continued: "We need to start teaching teenagers (all genders included) not just about periods, pregnancy and STI’s, but about sexual pleasure, enthusiastic consent and why porn is, very often, not a reflection of true sex."
It’s such an important discussion for us all to have, so well done to Billie for opening up the floor.
