Aside from a few internet crushes — including an alleged assassin — 2024 has been a very, shall we say, unhorny year, largely defined by growing misogyny, political turmoil, and dating ennui.
It’s no wonder, then, that to escape this unarousing reality, this year, a lot of us turned to fantasy to, well, get us off. TikTok’s erotic fiction community, dubbed #SmutTok, really got into monster erotica; the audio porn boom reached a whole new level, with actors like Andrew Scott recording sexy stories; and, in regularly scheduled programming, we’ve all continued to thirst over the internet’s usual boyfriends.
Here at Cosmopolitan UK, we’ve fully embraced this shift. As well as visiting the Shangri-La of sexual fantasy — AKA feminist porn sets — we’ve published a number of steamy erotic stories this year. While some of them are totally make-believe, others are confessions from various writers’ sexual pasts. And, spoiler, they’re hot!
So, as we say goodbye to 2024, we thought we’d do you a favour and round-up some of our sexiest stories of the year. If you’re still at home for the holidays, you might want to bookmark these for later. Everyone else: enjoy! You’re welcome.
My best sex ever was when I squirted for the first time
One anonymous writer looks back on a memorably wet and wild fling
“There was a magnetism about Ethan* that was impossible to resist. We met for lunch one warm September afternoon, having spent all summer messaging on a dating app. I was instantly seduced by his brown tousled hair and chiselled features, coupled with the fact that he spoke three languages. He was easy to be around — it was as if we’d known each other for ages. Lunch turned into dinner and then into a kiss goodnight on a busy street corner. I could’ve had sex with him right there and then. Little did I know that the sex we’d eventually have would bring me an exhilarating waterfall of pleasure.”
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My best sex ever was when I cheated on my boyfriend at a party
In this anonymous confession, one writer remembers getting hot and heavy with a stranger... while her boyfriend was in the next room
“I walked into the party wearing a little black dress and heels, and it was then that I met Carter*. Our eyes locked from across the room and I’d never felt electricity like it. This wasn’t love at first sight, it was better… it was lust.
When my boyfriend was busy mingling with his friends, I made my way towards Carter. He was tall, blonde, and had the most chiseled jawline I’d ever seen. If I’m honest, he looked like a typical fuckboy, and the way he smirked at me with reckless abandon told me he knew he looked good.”
My best sex ever was when my husband and I roleplayed as strangers
How do you keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship? You pretend to be other people, duh
“When we get home, we smoke in the garden. ‘Go and get ready,’ he says, already trying on his character. He’s going to see a sex worker while his wife is outside in the car. I savour the ritual of getting ready, feeling the eroticism of each garment as they caress my limbs. I take a selfie in the spare room mirror. I look like a different person.”
My best sex ever was with my ex’s best friend
Mounting sexual tension erupted in a steamy night of passion in the back of this writer’s ex’s best friend’s car
“The sexual tension between us was palpable as we teased with the boundaries between being friends and something more. All the while, my ex’s shadow was hanging over us. One night, during one of our platonic sleepovers, I had a sex dream about Robbie*. Lying behind me as he pressed his throbbing erection against my behind, his full lips traced their way down the nape of my neck. He rolled over so he was on top as he eased into me. Every thrust felt so real.
When I awoke next to him, I suddenly wondered if he was able to read my mind, and whether he had felt the same longing for me, too.”
Read ‘Meeting Annie’ — a lesbian erotic fiction
Where a night out with a co-worker leads to self-discovery
“I can tell by the look on her face she’s had a few drinks and it’s likely causing her to be more honest than normal. Still, I have no idea what to say. It has never once occurred to me that she’d have any actual interest in seducing me. Or what seducing me would even involve. Or what we would actually do if she got me into her bed.
I realise suddenly that I’m getting aroused, that I’m pushing myself down against the hard flat surface of the chair under me as I begin to ache. Am I getting worked up thinking about… what… having sex… with Annie?”
Read ‘A Fresh Start’ — an erotic fiction
The best way to get over an awful ex? By hooking up with someone you’ve wanted for years
“Tom is one of those drop dead gorgeous guys that every girl wants to go out with. Predictably, he’s had a string of pretty, dull girlfriends for as long as I’ve known him. There’s nothing between us, we’re just friends, but try telling my ex that. We had so many fights over Tom that I stopped seeing him and allowed us to drift apart completely.
Alright, there was one time when I wondered whether anything would happen between us. We’d been on holiday together to stay with his auntie in Spain. We had so much fun spending long, lazy days on the beach, sipping cold beers with countless bocadillos. It was one of the only times in eight years of friendship that neither of us were in a relationship. In fact, I was only there to stand in for a girlfriend he’d broken up with days before.”
Read ‘Peaches for Three’ — an erotic threesome fiction
Where three isn’t a crowd
“Cici gently takes the wine glass from my hand and sets it on her steamer-trunk coffee table. In the days leading up to my first threesome, I’ve been both excited and terrified, but now that I’m just moments away, I feel something coming over me.
Maybe it’s the prosecco, her eyes, her pink lips. Maybe it’s my knickers, now soaking wet even though we’ve barely touched. Maybe it’s the memory of the dive bar where our tongues tangled, and I felt her fingers on my breasts.
But when she asks, ‘May I kiss you?’, I don’t hesitate to breathe, ‘yes’.”
Read ‘Comings and Goings’ — an erotic lesbian fiction
One woman goes on a dating app adventure
“My stomach lurched — I’d matched with the ‘wow’ girl.
This was about when the thrilling anxiety started to set in.
Well, fuck. This is real now. What do I say?
I prefer to bypass the simplicity of ‘hey’ in an attempt to score points for originality, but still try to keep it simple.
Me: Where are you headed today?
The bubbles popped up on the screen almost immediately. I stared intently as they bobbled along the bottom while I waited for her response to come through.
Her: On an adventure.”
Your wildest sex stories from Cosmo’s survey
From affairs and threesomes to orgies at Burning Man and sex on Everest (how?!), it turns out Cosmo readers have really been living it up in — and out of — the bedroom
It wouldn’t be a proper list without a little reader contribution. Back in July, we asked: What is good sex for you? No matter how much you’re having it, or who with, we wanted to find out just how different everyone’s definition of good, great, and mind-blowing sex is.
We also asked you to dish the dirt on your wildest sexual encounters. And, wow, were they wild! From affairs with your bosses to, well, a lot of public sex, you shared your sexiest escapades. We pulled together our faves, so you can relive your own contribution (we don’t blame you!), or just get an insight into other people’s hot AF fantasies.
*Names have been changed
