Our general lack of Real Talk when it comes to sex might make you think most people know what they're doing when it comes to shagging. In reality, this couldn't be further from the truth. Aren't we all just fumbling in the (metaphorical but sometimes literal) dark wondering if we're touching the right bit, in the right way? Trust me. If only we'd all admit this - AND COMMUNICATE FFS - maybe sex would be much easier and more fun for everyone.
But no, that is not the world we live in. People don't always talk about what they want, sex-wise. And they don't always tell their partners what they enjoy (or don't enjoy) about their sex lives.
Illicit Encounters asked 2,000 people (which they split into "men" and "women" because: *eye roll* gender norms) what the most common sex "mistakes" their partners make are.
And yep, if anything, their answers prove we all just need to sit down and have a lovely adult chat about banging.
Here's what men think are women's biggest sex mistakes...
- Failing to initiate sex
- Always wanting sex with the lights off
- Faking an orgasm
- Talking too much
- Not asking to try anything new
- Mentioning what an ex partner did in bed
- Over-thinking sex
- Being too timid
- Believing he is always up for sex
- Worrying too much about how they look
So many thoughts, so many feelings, mainly: rude. And they do not deserve us!
What women think are the biggest sex mistakes men make...
- Skipping on foreplay and rushing straight into full (guessing this means penetrative?) sex
- Having an orgasm first
- Being clumsy
- Talking dirty in a crude way
- Lack of communication/intimacy after sex
- Falling asleep as soon as they've come
- Commenting on women’s body shape
- Assuming they know what she wants
- Rigidly stick to your plan and ignoring her body language
- Keeping it completely physical with no emotional connection
And well yeah. I've had sex with men and people with penises, and every single one of these rings true.
Everyone's clicking on...
What's the moral of the story here? I think you know what I'm going to say. If someone is having sex with you, they should respect you enough to politely talk about what they'd like and what their expectations are. And same goes for you.
If someone's barely fingering you for a second before pushing their penis inside you, and you need clit stimulation to feel pleasure/orgasm, tell them.
If they're making negative comments about your body shape, slap them, bin them and have a wank.
And if your relationship is purely physical with no emotional connection, that's cool - as long as you're cool with it.
Paisley is the former Sex and Relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK. She covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ. She definitely reveals too much about her personal life on the Internet.
