The 13 best relationship books to read now

British Vogue columnist (and Cosmopolitan UK contributor) Annie Lord released her debut book in 2022 and, if you've ever been through a breakup, it's sure to get you in your feels. This release charts the ups and downs of a long-term relationship and explores the ways it slowly began to come apart - all with a precise, unsparing eye.

Oloni is one of the most influential voices in the sex and dating space, like, ever. Not only is she a *mega* presence on social media, she's also the host of the Laid Bare podcast and now has her very own book: The Big O. Funny and frank, consider it your guide to navigating the tricky world of sex and dating in 2024...

Fancy more love in your life? This is what All About Love, from the late feminist academic and author bell hooks (her name is intentionally not capitalised, btw) is all about. By rejecting gendered stereotypes in heterosexual relationships, she proposes ways of thinking about cultivating love in romantic connections, through active foundations of commitment, trust, communication and care. The major takeaway: that love is a verb, rather than a noun, and needs to be nourished through the things we do.

This guide to polyamory was groundbreaking when it was first published in 1997 and has since become kind of an "ethical non-monogamy for dummies" tool kit. If you're new to polyamory, or are curious and want to learn more, it's a must-read, covering how to cope with jealousy, managing scheduling when you have multiple partners, and general etiquette within the world of consensual non-monogamy.

From viral dating expert sensation LalalaLetMeExplain, this handy book is a survival guide for modern dating and shows you signs of ghosting, negging, gaslighting and other red flags. Primarily geared towards heterosexual connections, it helps women parse the ingrained gendered inequalities and expectations which still linger on in intimate relationships, all delivered in a frank, no-nonsense tone with a healthy dose of humour.

Attachment theory is a popular way of explaining how our childhood upbringing, primarily the impact of our primary care-givers, influences how we approach relationships as adults. There are three main types: secure (you're unlikely to feel insecure or emotionally distant when dating), avoidant (partners might describe you as "emotionally unavailable") and anxious (you might feel insecure in relationships). Attached by Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is a best-selling guide which aims to demystify all of this theory, get to the bottom of what your attachment style is and show you ways to work through it.

This collection of essays from authors like Roxane Gay, Candice Carty-Williams and Dolly Alderton - all compiled by journalist Natasha Lunn - explores how love evolves over a lifetime, from long-term relationships to devastating breakups.

Originally published all the way back in 1993, Essays in Love is a real classic. On one level, it's a novel about a couple who meet on a flight between Paris and London. On another, it's a philosophical exploration of love, what it means, and its inevitable loss. If you're ready to go deep, this is the one for you...

Even though it's 2024, there's still not that many dating books for sapphics. Fortunately, queer agony aunt Lindsay King-Miller collated some of her best advice for women who love women into this funny, informed, an accessible read.

As explored above, attachment theory is pretty influential nowadays when it comes to talking about dating and relationships. However, the majority of the theory caters exclusively to monogamous connections and can be harder to apply when you are dating, sleeping or in a relationship with more than one person. Enter: Polysecure, a guide from polyamorous relationship therapist Jessica Fern that comprehensively breaks down attachment theory, explains the different types of polyamory (there are a lot!), and then applies that knowledge towards practical exercises on how to strengthen your non-monogamous connections.

Juno Roche's Queer Sex isn't just about sexual connection and sexual exploration (though that is a huge, and vitally important part of it!), it's also a brilliant guide to trans and non-binary relationships, told through the author's own experiences and interviews with prominent members of the community discussing their views on dating and intimacy. It's so rare to see love and sex advice which centres the trans and non-binary experience, making this release all the more important.