I’m not a huge reality TV girlie. So, I was resistant to say the least when a friend suggested I watch The Traitors way back in 2023. The series had already been on for a week or so, and it was the magical (though heinously named) ‘twixmas period, which (back then, before I had a kid) was strictly reserved for slipping in and out of sofa naps, tinkering with jigsaw puzzles and consuming as much Quality Street as possible until you are pre-diabetic. Why would I waste potential nothing time on a new show that required me ‘getting into’ it rather than, say watching Nora Ephron and Nancy Meyers films on a loop?
Nevertheless, my friend persisted and some days later, I emerged, severely Vitamin D deficient having raw dogged the first week’s episodes without stopping.
Now, here we are on season four and, quite frankly, anyone who isn’t watching The Traitors isn’t someone I feel able to converse with in January. Where once the first month of the year was about scraping cash together to head to Holland and Barrett for a new powder to put in your morning smoothie (creatine for 2026!) and squeezing your post-Christmas paunch into activewear to join the throngs of other Januaries at the gym, now it is also about The Traitors. Whichever producer pitched the show and decided to gift it to us in the most miserable month of the year deserves a peerage. Actually, while we’re on that topic, whoever decided this year’s series should TX at the earlier time of 8pm must have an immediate promotion.
At this point, the deliciously twist-filled, skullduggery-drenched game show is a mainstay of British telly. But, as with all well-loved formats, it’s time to mix it up. Yes, The Celebrity Traitors was an absolute gift (Alan Carr, a national treasure), but were the slebs all a little too au fait with the format? You’d have to be, to dive in early with the ‘big dog’ theory which was, as it happens, absolutely bang on. Meanwhile, the normies have cottoned on to the production trick of connections between cast members, with several guessing who might be whose mother / partner / second cousin twice removed, which can distract a little from the real joy of the show: the pure clueless innocence of it all.
My favourite part of the game is when Faithful die on a hill of utter conviction that another player is a Traitor, sewing together a theory with little to no proof, like when Harriet reeled off her ‘evidence’ against Rachel – a person she was correct was a Traitor – which was little more than circumstantial waffle. I was watching thinking, she goes she’s going to nail Rachel and then, out came this absolute guff. Watching Rachel’s face as she realised Harriet had nothing on her was *chef's kiss* television. Speaking of faces, Stephen’s cartoon-level shock at literally anything that happens has brought me more joy this month than my futile attempts to get into Heated Rivalry.
All that is to say, it just becomes a little less fun once contestants have swotted up on the format and are able to “play an absolute blinder”, using theories formed on endless rewatches of previous series.
So, how could the next series of the now stalwart British show spice things up to keep it juicy?
Family connections… with a twist
Name a more iconic TV moment than the car journey in season two, when Ross broke the fourth wall during a discussion about murdered cast member Diane.
“I love her, she was like my mum,” said Jasmine.
“She was my mum,” quipped Paul, referring to a theory the two were related.
“She was my mum first, no, stop it!” said Ross, before turning to the camera and delivering a pantomime wink.
Delicious! I must have rewatched that moment endless times. Was Ross, in fact, a dish? Or was it just that he had perfected dramatic timing? And let’s not forget Diane, whose delivery of the bombshell news to viewers in The Traitors diary room when she was murdered by the poison chalice was West End-worthy.
“Paul couldn’t be my son… bus Ross is”.
And let’s not forget when fuchsia-haired Tom leapt out of his seat at the breakfast table to deliver the shock revelation: “Alex isn’t a traitor, she’s my girlfriend!”
Stunning stuff.
But we’ve seen the player connection plot play out a few times now and nothing has really come out of it. Ellie and Ross being in a relationship? Cute but also…who cares? Roxy and Judy being mother and daughter? Lovely but again, it gave us absolutely nothing. It’s time to mix it up. I’d like to see Claudia announce to all contestants, a few episodes into the show, that there are some pre-existing relationships in the room. Now that would really spice up the library detective work.
Sabotage, sabotage, sabotage
Sabotage, skullduggery, deceit – this is what The Traitors is all about. In last night’s mission, contestants had to climb a gruelling highland hill (with Jack struggling an alarming amount for a PT), to gather enough gold to fill a shield. When James paused for breath, Rachel tried to use it as an opportunity to call him a traitor hell bent on sabotage. Why? Because a win in the mission meant more than just some extra cash for the prize pot. It also put the kibosh on the Traitors’ final murder. Would they sabotage or continue, undetected?
Ultimately, the former was too risky at this stage of the game, but as the tasks get increasingly convoluted (and yet remain the least interesting part of every episode, let’s be frank), I want to see the missions tweaked so the Traitors are given the ability to sabotage – or be sabotaged – in each one. This is the Machiavellian ingredient we need.
Sartorial easter eggs
It goes without saying that Claudia Winkleman’s ‘fits are an absolute vibe. Never before have we yearned after a highland fling invite so fervently. Long kilts! Bottega bovver boots! Furs! Tulle! Leather! And of course, those cheeky little Home Alone villain-meets Desperately Seeking Susan fingerless gloves. Inject it all into my veins.
And now the contestants themselves are taking a bite out of the fashion cherry. The Celebrity Traitors cast really stepped up the game (natch), with Jonathan Ross’ quite frankly unhinged wardrobe becoming a character in its own right and, this season, Stephen sent TikTok wild with fluffy pink jumpers, Paul Mescal shorty shorts, wide 70s-style collars and cropped jackets. And that’s without even mentioning the Palomo Spain jumpsuit. Meanwhile Rachel – in Harriet’s words – has been “dressed to kill”.
The contestants are wise to the power of garms, using them to cement their main character energy (and tbh probs lock down brand deals as they exit the castle – Jade has even promised Instagram followers she’d share all her looks after the show). Canny!
Let’s harness this power. Traitors should be made to wear something at each round table that nods to their treacherous ways. Sartorial Easter eggs, if you will. We’re thinking one green item in every outfit / hooded tops / a subtle letter ‘T’ somewhere. Understated enough to be easily bypassed, discernible only to the faithful with the sharpest eye.
Yourself, myself, thyselves
Alright, so this one is less about the game itself and more about putting a pin in this round table insanity. Will someone please explain to contestants that ‘yourself’ is not a formal word for ‘you’ and that myself is not the formal way of saying, ‘me’.
In fairness, this pervasive misapplication of reflexive pronouns isn’t unique to The Traitors, and it does seem to be the contestants’ way of striving for politeness in a volatile and often personal round table environment. We get it! You want to be nice while you banish someone! But please let this end now.
Claudia, time to step in.
Everything in plain sight
The in plain sight stuff is the best part of any series. Poison chalices, fingerprints on pictures, a brush of the cheek, a Judas kiss. It’s all TV gold. Four seasons in, it’s clear now that the Traitors have the upper hand from the beginning of the game and they’ve walked away with the prize pot in all but the first series as a result. Let’s see every single murder and every single recruitment to take place in plain sight with only some of those allowing for some pre-game chat between traitors.
To that end, I’d like to see more Traitor-Faithful interactions. The confession booth was top tier television, as was series three’s one-on-one meeting between Traitor Charlotte and Faithful Francesca. Give the faithful more opportunities to cross-examine those deceitful Traitors. Let’s see them sweat.
... and so much more
Ok so it is possible to ruin a tried-and-tested formula like The Traitors by jumping the shark but hear me out. What about a secret Traitor that everyone knows exists? One who can block the main Traitors’ murder choices? Or how about individual players able to get personal prize bonuses by guiding votes their way? Or, since players seem to love concealing their careers, real accents and whether or not they were “trained by a former FBI agent in people's ability to lie” (lol), could everyone go in with one big lie that the others strive to figure out?
There are so many ways you could spice this game up. Ultimately, though, it comes down to a classic parlour game played out on our screens at a time when we need it most.
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