"I was a bag of nerves," says Ollie, a 27-year-old road worker from Brighton, when describing the first kiss he had on BBC Three's I Kissed A Boy. "Usually when you kiss someone, you're in the club, you've laid eyes on them, you dance closer and you might share a kiss. Or you've been speaking to someone on an app and then you meet up for a drink. But walking around a corner, laying eyes on somebody, and then not even 10 seconds later you're kissing them, that's a mad concept."
In case you're new here, Ollie is referring to the moment in the UK's first exclusively gay dating series where contestants share a kiss upon first meeting. No introductory chats, no initial pairing up, no awkward first dates, it's just straight in with a kiss.
"It was so nerve wracking. But I mean, who doesn't like a great kiss?" 28-year-old stylist Gareth told me over Zoom a few days after the first two episodes dropped on BBC Three.
Subomi, a 29-year-old from London, who Gareth was paired up to kiss in the opening scene, said they all knew the kiss was happening from the beginning, but how they chose to go about it was up to them. "It wasn't like you have to do it, it was very much like 'this is how you're going to meet, how you do that is completely up to you.'" he says. "And you know, it was cute!"
Ollie, Subomi and Gareth are three of the original 10 men taking part in BBC Three's I Kissed a Boy. The eight-part series is the first of its kind and sees the guys head to a stunning Italian masseria (that's a large farm to you and I), where, after being matched by the series experts, the five pairs meet individually and share a kiss.
They then head into the villa and similarly to other reality series of the same nature, they develop relationships, potentially have their head turned by new arrivals and recommit to their partner in a ceremony.
Except, despite following a similar format to other series, it feels so different to any other reality show I've watched. Hosted by Dannii Minogue, I Kissed A Boy immediately left me with a warm comforting feeling. It genuinely feels the widely diverse contestants care more about connecting with their community and potentially building a relationship, than increasing their follower count.
"It breaks the blueprint of reality TV," Gareth continues. "Not everyone is tanned and has Botox or has ripped washboard abs. There's a wide range of diversity in this show. It's not people walking around bitching about each other. It's just a big gay circus of people with stories to tell."
And he's right. In the first two episodes, whilst there's a lot of teasing and joking, the atmosphere feels supportive and kind; that whilst everyone wants to find their person, they also all have each other's backs.
This feeling of togetherness is in part due to the production of the series, and the mood on set. Many of the crew were part of the LGBTQ community, which Subomi said allowed the cast to "let our guards down" and made them feel "like we could be more ourselves around them."
During the preliminary interview stages, the contestants were asked the standard things such as what they do for fun, and who they hang out with, but they were also asked to share their coming out stories, and how their background impacted them today.
As Gareth puts it, "They asked thoughtful questions that I really appreciated. I think with this show it was important to really showcase stories, trials and tribulations, positives and negatives of being in the gay community."
Telling stories and raising awareness of unrepresented people in the community has been evident even within the first two episodes. During the first pride night party, Ollie wore a red ribbon, to symbolise his support for those living with HIV.
"I thought use this [the show] as a platform, so that when someone says 'Oh, I like your red ribbon', I can say 'Do you know what that represents? Do you know what that stands for?' The Terrence Higgins Trust posted it on their Instagram story and thanked me for wearing it and raising the awareness. And I just thought 'Yes! That's what I'm talking about'. For that community to watch the first UK's first gay dating show and feel a part of it."
It's moments like these that made the cast, many of whom were approached on Instagram, sign up for the series. "The more I thought about it, the more I sat with it, the more it started to hit me just how impactful this [the series] could potentially be," said Subomi who was raised in Nigeria, where it's still illegal to be gay.
He added this didn't stop him from wanting to take part in the series, "I am more myself here [in the UK] than I am myself there [in Nigeria]. And so I wasn't really concerned about that part of it.
"Obviously knowing that I still visit Nigeria, I still go home and still have family there, that's something that I did have to think about, but because I'm no longer closeted in either country, there's nothing I can really do about that. People are gonna have their preconceived notions about me regardless."
For Gareth, who comes from a small town in Northern Ireland, where there were expectations of being the "perfect man" with "a house, a wife, kids and a white picket fence", he carefully considered his decision to join the series.
"At first I was like "F**k it! Slay!' But I only came out properly when I was 24. It's a small town, people talk. I did have reservations, because I haven't really come out to people from my home town. So I was like, 'Okay, this is going to be me coming out all over again, just on a bigger scale'."
Though there's been the inclusion of the queer community in other reality series, this is the first time a series has been solely about gay men. When I asked Subomi, Ollie and Gareth why they thought the series had taken so long to come about it, the resounding feeling was that people were scared.
"Being LGBTQ is nothing new," Subomi muses. "There's always been resistance, even though it's very obvious that we are here. And what ends up happening is with media and TV shows, things tend to go with what the majority feel like they're comfortable with seeing on TV. For whatever reason, a lot of people aren't willing to actually just expand their knowledge beyond what they already know."
Though Gareth said he had received a few hate messages from anonymous accounts, the guys tell me the majority of messages they've received from viewers have been overwhelmingly positive, with one particular message standing out to Ollie. "This one guy, a carpenter, said: 'Thanks a lot, man. I've been trying to come out for years, but I've been watching the show and it's just so inspiring.'
"And I was like, 'this is exactly why I was on the show'."
I Kissed A Boy continues on BBC Three this Sunday at 9pm.
