From the likes of Selena Gomez to Adele, and most recently Khloe Kardashian, we've all heard the term 'revenge body' being heaped on with praise post-breakup. And it's not just reserved for celebrities either, with many of us also encouraging our friends to ~get their own back~ on their ex by going into full Elle Woods 'what like it's hard?' mode.
But, while the 'revenge body' has been neatly packaged as an empowering form of self-care, the truth is that its impact is anything but positive – as body confidence influencer Alex Light took to Instagram this week to point out.
"The term is, in general, used in a positive way, as a compliment. Tabloids praise celebrities for their 'revenge bodies'", Alex wrote alongside a screenshot of a recent article praising Khloe's 'revenge body' following her split with Tristan Thompson. "But the concept is not as positive or empowering as it might seem."
What actually is the problem with the 'revenge body'?
First things first, Alex tells Cosmopolitan UK, is that the "idea of a revenge body is reinforcing the narrative that thinner is better and thinner makes us, not only more worthy and more successful, but also more desirable and more loveable." Essentially, the body confidence influencer continues, "it boils down to the message that if she [in this case Khloe] looked a certain way, he [in this case Tristan] wouldn’t have left her. And so that’s a really damaging message for anyone to consume, it’s very toxic."
Yet, while everyone's busy praising someone for their physical health, what attention is being paid towards their mental wellbeing? "The way the media compliments these celebrity 'revenge bodies' doesn't even take into account the fact that they might actually be mentally not feeling very well," Alex tells us, highlighting that not all weight loss is healthy weight loss – nor is the means through which it's achieved.
"Someone's mental health could be having an impact on their appetite - they might be too stressed to eat, for example, so are just losing weight," the influencer adds. "Yes, they may have been hitting the gym and cutting out non-nutrient dense foods, but actually we have no idea."
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It's a sentiment that is echoed by Beat, the UK's eating disorder charity, who stress how those with or vulnerable to eating disorders can really feel the impact of the praise awarded to those achieving a 'revenge body'. "The message that losing weight is an effective way to cope with a breakup can encourage people to fixate on their diet and fitness in order to achieve a target weight or change in appearance," says Tom Quinn, Beat's Director of External Affairs. "This desire for control can inspire those vulnerable to eating disorders to engage in harmful behaviours or make an existing eating disorder worse. It can also lower people's self-esteem and cause them to feel further dissatisfaction about their body."
It's a cycle that can be hard to break, as Alex recalls. "Being praised for weight loss and giving it worldwide attention feeds positive reinforcement back, which isn’t actually positive at all. It’ll also mean that person will become hyper aware of any weight gain – given that any change in their appearance will attract a response from the media," she says. "Speaking from my own experience, at the height of my eating disorder, people kept telling me how amazing I looked and that I was 'body goals'. While they meant this with good intentions, all it did was give me a fear of putting weight on."
What's more, is that the idea of a 'revenge body' is almost exclusively reserved for women. "It's all so misogynistic," Alex tells us. "When have you ever seen the term revenge body referenced towards men? This is just evidence of how insidious our society is that we place so much value on the way a woman looks."
So, how can we break the cycle when it comes to the 'revenge body'?
Opening up the conversations about why 'revenge bodies' are problematic is just the first step – but, thanks to body confidence influencers like Alex, we're part of the way there.
"By raising awareness and opening discussion about how toxic and damaging this is, we can hopefully break the 'revenge body' cycle," she says. "That could be an individual monitoring their own language, or speaking up when they hear the term used in conversation and offering an alternative view without being forceful. Sometimes people just don’t know any better, so it’s really helpful to just keep the chain of learning and education going."
It's also worth noting, that there isn't really ever (read: never) a time we should be commenting on someone else's body. "Eating disorders can affect people of any shape, weight, gender or background, and you can't tell if someone has or is vulnerable to developing an eating disorder just by looking at them," reminds Beat's Tom Quinn. "We'd encourage people to be mindful in general about their language around food and exercise, and to avoid commenting on people's bodies in order to protect those affected by these serious mental illnesses."
The end of the 'revenge body'
As for what advice she has for anyone currently experiencing a breakup, Alex says that: "Getting a 'revenge body' might feel like something that’s going to be empowering, because breakups are horrendous and so obviously it’s human nature to do something to make yourself feel good – but this won’t make you feel good in the long run."
Instead, the influencer recommends taking the time to look inward, and redirect that energy towards yourself. "I can’t stress enough how trying to get a revenge body is the opposite of empowering," she adds. "In fact, it’s quite literally giving your power away to someone else."
"Turn off the idea of trying to look a certain way for someone else, because that’s never going to give you fulfilment or true happiness. And honestly, if the person who has broken up with you is going to be more interested in you after you’ve changed your appearance, then that is beyond a red flag. No thriving, successful relationship is built purely upon attractiveness."
If you’re worried about your own or someone else’s health, you can contact Beat, the UK’s eating disorder charity, 365 days a year on 0808 801 0677 or visit their website here.
