There has never been a meme I've related to more than the one about turning into a founding father as soon as you put your hair into a ponytail.
It doesn't matter whether I aim high like Ariana, or sleek and low like Kylie, my hair always ends up like my breasts sans bra - saggy AF.
So how do you do a ponytail without looking like an arrogant hunter unsuccessfully trying to force the prettiest girl in the village to fall in love with you? Well, that's where Andrew Fitzsimmons comes along.
As hairdresser to the entire Kardashian/Jenner family, he knows a thing or two about a snatched pony. Which is why I practically begged him to share his secrets, because lord knows I need them.
"I love a ponytail because if you get it right, it's like getting a little facelift," he tells me, clearly not having ever witnessed my efforts.
Turns out though, if I follow Andrew's tips, my founding father days might well be numbered.
Gloss it up
"First of all I coat the front of the hair in my Bounce Strong Hold Hairspray. It has a lot of shine which is important because otherwise it can leave the hair looking really dull.
Swap a brush for a comb
"If you want a really sleek ponytail, flat to your head, with no bumps, use a tail comb because it's the only thing that will work. Don't try and drag all your hair up at once, work section by section, combing back into the pony."
Add height
"To get that lift at the top, I spray my Texture Spray into the base of the ponytail and massage with my fingers to amplify the volume. If you want a more textured pony, spray it through the entire thing and rub the hair with your fingers for instant volume."
Andrew Fitzsimons Texture Spray, primark.com, £3.50 FIND IN-STORE
Andrew's range with Primark is available in-stores now, see you and your snatched pony there...
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Laura is a former writer for Cosmopolitan UK, covering everything beauty and fashion related and specialises in makeup, plus-size fashion and the world of YouTube. Her favourite pastime is reminding everyone of that one time she met Charlie Hunnam and Jason Momoa. Please don't ask to see the pictures...
