As a woman who dates men but generally advises against it, I’ll admit I’ve occasionally wondered whether I’m part of the problem. In preaching the art of decentering men and waxing poetic on the joys of single womanhood, am I just stoking the flames of heteropessimism already ravaging an increasingly bleak dating landscape? Perhaps I have grown a bit too cynical. Maybe I am a little too hard on men.
…And then some fresh hell like ”alpine divorce” inevitably starts trending and I remember that, if anything, I should probably be even harder on men.
At its most basic level, “alpine divorce” refers to the act of abandoning a romantic partner in a remote or otherwise dangerous environment, effectively leaving them for dead. The term traces back to the 1893 short story, “An Alpine Divorce” by Robert Barr, about a husband who plans to murder his wife while vacationing in the Swiss Alps.
More than a century later, alpine divorce has re-entered the zeitgeist, sparking discourse across social media platforms and making headlines as one of the year’s most harrowing dating trends. The term’s recent resurgence seems to trace back to a viral TikTok from mid-February in which a user with the handle @EverAfterIya claimed a man left her alone in the mountains on a hiking date. Commenters quickly pointed out the alpine divorce parallels, with many women detailing their own experiences of being left in similarly precarious positions on a date.
Alpine divorce has also been making headlines recently in response to the conviction of Thomas Plamberger, who received a five-month sentence for manslaughter in February after leaving his partner, Kerstin Gurtner, to die of hypothermia on a mountain hike last year.
Here’s what to know about alpine divorce, why it seems to be resonating with so many women, and what its relevance really says about the state of modern dating and relationships in 2026.
What Is Alpine Divorce in Dating?
Generally speaking, the concept of alpine divorce currently making the rounds online is more or less reflective of its 19th-century literary origins, functioning as “a modern term for abandoning a partner in a remote or physically vulnerable setting in a way that symbolically or literally ends the relationship,” says relationship expert Thais Gibson, PhD, founder of the Personal Development School.
In its most literal and severe manifestation, alpine divorce represents a horrifying act of intimate partner violence: leaving a woman to fend for herself in an isolated, rural area and presumably succumb to the dangers of the wilderness. While this traditional form of alpine divorce remains an unfortunate and horrific reality (as evidenced by the Plamberger case), the current conversation surrounding the trend has expanded the definition to include a broader range of less specific and potentially less drastic situations that can happen at any stage of a romantic relationship, including a first date.
The experiences women are sharing online right now under the banner of “alpine divorce” don’t all take place in the woods and don’t necessarily involve an active if indirect attempt on their lives at the hands of a spouse. Rather, the common through line uniting these stories is some element of being stranded in a vulnerable position by a (usually male) date or romantic partner.
The most immediate extension of alpine divorce within the context of modern dating culture sticks with the wilderness theme, highlighting the red-flag potential of a man who suggests a hiking date or a camping trip—à la the TikTok that kicked off the trend. As the conversation surrounding alpine divorce has evolved, however, the concept has become less about a specific environment and more about the abusive nature of intentionally leaving a woman alone in any unfamiliar territory—be it the middle of the woods or the middle of the city, on the side of the highway or at a party full of strangers with no way to get home.
As more women share experiences of being stranded by men under a wide range of different circumstances, modern alpine divorce—or at least the conversation surrounding it—becomes less about the literal act of abandonment, where it takes place, or even the physical harm it may pose and more about the sociocultural implications of this phenomenon and the societal forces that allow it to exist.
Why Does Alpine Divorce Happen?
In the original short story, alpine divorce is essentially a form of indirect murder for the sake of ending a relationship, all because a man was too scared to tell his wife he wanted a divorce.
Obviously, this is an act of violence that requires a severe lack of empathy characteristic of a “full-fledged psychopath,” says relationship therapist Alina Kastner, an expert in narcissistic abuse and author of Break Up with Narcissism. But it also represents an act of conflict avoidance driven to its most gruesome extreme.
Of course, an act of alpine divorce needn’t be this gruesome nor this extreme for conflict avoidance to be a factor. You might compare alpine divorce to ghosting: indirectly ending a relationship via active, physical abandonment instead of quiet disappearance. Whether it involves leaving a spouse for dead or merely ditching a first date, “this behavior reflects a lack of emotional regulation, where the offending partner chooses avoidance over direct communication,” says Kastner. “It also taps into power dynamics and outdated gender norms where confrontation is feared or impulsively escaped, not resolved.”
Ultimately, “these abandonment behaviors, whether dramatic or subtle, usually stem from a combination of insecure attachment patterns, poor conflict skills, emotional immaturity, and sometimes abusive tendencies,” says Gibson.
Alpine Divorce as a “Test”
But it seems alpine divorce tactics aren’t always deployed for the purpose of weaseling out of a relationship or Irish exiting a date. In some cases, these acts of abandonment may function as a kind of mean-spirited “test” or “humiliation ritual,” suggests sex and relationships educator Melissa A. Fabello, PhD. Such tests have become a dating trend of their own within the “manosphere,” encouraging men to trick women into revealing supposed flaws or short-comings à la,“Take her swimming on a first date,” a challenge designed to “catch” a woman wearing makeup by incel types who consider the aesthetic advantage a trip to Sephora can provide a form of deceit akin to catfishing.
“Abandoning a partner while in nature is a perfect example of this trend,” says Fabello. “The ‘test’ is to see how women fend for themselves—and how readily they take abuse. Can you make it out of this trail on your own? Are you submissive enough to ask for my help? Are you able to keep calm under the pressure of a situation I've created? Are you able to take my antics in jest, or are you going to get angry? That's what they want to know.”
In long-term relationships, this initial “test” may become an active, ongoing form of abuse. “A dynamic where someone exerts control, isolates, gaslights, or creates fear fits into larger patterns we see in abusive relationships,” says Gibson. “Abandonment in a dangerous setting can overlap with coercive control or emotional abuse.”
At best, alpine divorce is an act of avoidance; at worst, it’s a form of active cruelty. Either way, it’s still abuse—negligent or otherwise.
Why the Alpine Divorce Trend Resonates With So Many Women
In some ways (and on a much smaller scale), the alpine divorce discourse is reminiscent of the birth of the Me Too movement: a large number of women coming forward to reveal they’ve experienced a form of abuse at the hands of men previously thought to be relatively rare.
But even within the most liberal allowances of what constitutes alpine divorce, most experts still agree that this kind of abandonment is relatively rare. While the recent deluge of women sharing their own alpine divorce stories online may seem to reveal a staggering number of cases, Kastner cautions that “self-reported anecdotes amplified by social media platforms” do not equal nor necessarily suggest statistically significant evidence.
But regardless of what the data does or doesn’t say about how common this experience really is, there’s clearly something about it that’s proven widely relatable. That’s because you don’t need to have been literally thrown to the wolves to feel you’ve been left for dead by someone you loved and trusted. “It resonates because abandonment fears are real, even when the literal behavior is rare,” says Kastner.
According to Gibson, the mere concept of physical abandonment embodied by alpine divorce “mirrors something deeper: emotional abandonment.” And ultimately, abandonment doesn’t have to be physical to leave a mark. Per Gibson, having a partner gradually pull away, withhold or withdraw affection, or suddenly end a relationship with no explanation can be just as destabilizing to the nervous system.
“People are deeply afraid of being emotionally or physically unsafe,” she adds. “Many feel unseen, unheard, or unprotected in relationships.”
On a personal level, alpine divorce seems to have struck a cord not necessarily because the experience itself is widely relatable, but because the fears and feelings it invokes are all but universal.
