House of the Dragon is back for seconds and we’re once again thirsty—nay, parched—for Ser Criston Cole, sexy knight and devious schemer! In case you hadn't noticed based on his antics last season, Ser Criston is actually a pretty major character in Fire & Blood, the (extremely dense) Targaryen history book that House of the Dragon is based on. So, like, casually wondering what happens? We have answers, but please be advised that SPOILERS are ahead.

Some Background on Ser Criston

He was born the “son of a steward in service to Lord Dondarrion of Blackhaven,” in case that means anything to you. Meanwhile, the book describes him as 23-years-old with “pale green eyes, coal black hair, and easy charm,” and he’s apparently a “favorite among the ladies at court” including Rhaenyra, who—as we know—gets herself a crush and starts calling him “my white knight."

house of the dragon
HBO

As a reminder in case House of the Dragon season 1 is but a distant and confusing memory, Rhaenyra has a steamy affair with Ser Criston before she turns down his offer of marriage and he bitterly joins Team Green (read: sides with Alicent Hightower).

When King Viserys dies, Criston is right there by Alicent’s side and instrumental in the plot to prevent Rhaenyra from taking the throne. He even places the crown on Aegon II’s head! So...what happens next?

Meet Criston the Kingmaker

Criston becomes Aegon II's hand and is (somewhat dramatically) known as ~Criston the Kingmaker~ as a result. During this era, he spends his time murdering anyone who refuses to bend the knee to Aegon II and organizing a plot to kill Rhaenyra. Said plot fails, but TL;DR: he sends Arryk to Dragonstone to murder the queen—but Arryk's twin brother Erryk stops him and they end up killing each other instead, whoops.

Anyway, we're here to talk about Ser Criston, so moving on! Next on his agenda? Our dude mounts an attack on Rook's Rest (aka the seat of House Staunton), which ends in the death of Rhaenys, the Queen Who Never Was.

He Dies in an Extremely 🥴 Way

Majorrrr spoiler, but if you're wondering how Ser Criston dies (because no way was he making it outta this show alive), it's pretty brutal. Basically, Prince Aemond and Ser Criston Cole head over to Harrenhal only to find it empty because—lol—Rhaenyra and Daemon are busy seizing Kings Landing.

Criston then heads south with a small army, who aren't exactly in great shape when they come face-to-face with the Lords of the Trident. Criston attempts to negotiate a surrender, but Red Robb Rivers (a skilled bowman) shoots a buncha arrows into his "belly, neck, and breast," killing him instantly. Meanwhile, Longleaf the Lionslayer has this to say over Criston's dead body: "I'll have no songs about how brave you died, Kingmaker. There's tens o' thousands deal on your account."

house of the dragon
HBO

Annnnd scene. On that note, I bid you farewell!