23 Celebrities Share the Secret to a Happy Marriage

“There’s nothing so valuable as shared respect. I think of seeing an old couple walking down the street, leaning on each other, and I say to myself, 'Well, I hope Tom [Hayden] and I are around to go through this together.' As long as there’s that bottom line, you have a chance. It’s not only that I respect Tom; I want him to respect me.”

“The certain knowledge that if there is one person in the world I can depend on, it’s my wife, Cassie [Harris]. When we moved to Hollywood from England, we experienced culture shock. Sometimes, when I’m on the set, alone in my dressing room, and the kids are at school, and Cassie is up in the Hollywood hills with the baby, I feel like we are five lost souls and that all we have to cling to is each other.”

“People are real fascinated by my marriage. They can’t figure it out at all. We base it on the freedom to be ourselves. I don’t expect any more of my husband [Carl Thomas Dean] than what he is. And he allows me to be me.”

“Both Andre [Weinfeld] and I lead hectic lives dictated by our respective careers, but we manage to put our work aside and take the time to relax, enjoy a fine meal (he cooks) and good conversation. I desperately need this kind of balance in my life.”

“I see us like Mr. and Mrs. Eddie Van Halen—Eddie’s parents—who are in their sixties and have been married for thirty-three years. My parents have been married nearly as long. I know we have it in us.”

“Spending as much time with my wife [Stacey Weitzman] as I possibly can. Sometimes we stay home, sometimes we socialize. We both have impulses and urges to do things. What makes our marriage exciting is that we share them.”

“Opposites attract! I don’t eat meat, drink coffee or liquor. John [Carpenter] drinks a couple of gallons of coffee before he starts work and gobbles junk food, washed down with beer. He smokes; I don’t. I’m for the ERA; he sneers at activism. There’s plenty of room in our marriage for compromise and change—and that’s what makes it so fascinating. So far, I’ve persuaded John to switch from white sugar to honey.”

“Edgar [Rosenberg] and I have a total partnership—he reads everything I write with a critical eye, and before he produces anything, he asks me first. I don’t know how much he makes or how much I make, but it goes into one pot.”

“Therapy.”

“Marty [Ingels] and I have weighted this question for years. Being an incurable romantic, I say love, loyalty, devotion, and all that Hallmark card stuff. Marty, the hard-core realist, says it’s more the practical blending of everyday needs, wants, habits, and even neuroses. Our secret is to meet in the glorious middle and fascinate the hell out of each other.”

“What’s good for my marriage is my habit of spending every Monday, Tuesday, and half of Wednesday at my mountain resort in Lake Tahoe. By the time I get back to Malibu, I can’t wait to see Andrea [Beckett].”

“I think Phil [Donahue] was more reticent about expressing his feelings before he met me. Now he says what’s on his mind. We argue when we need to, and we don’t harbor any grievances. The air between us is sometimes loud and stormy, but it always clears.”

“When Marianne [Gordon] and I met, I had nothing, and it was the first time in my adult life that I was both unsuccessful and happy at the same time. Now I’m secure in knowing that even if there are tough times ahead, we’ll still stick together.”

“I give Jack [Gill] his freedom, and I expect the same from him in return. If he goes too far, of course I’ll say something, but it’s important that we respect each other’s independence.”

“My marriage is totally equal and totally honest. Everyone thinks John [Derek] is a Svengali, but when I met him, all I knew was sailboats, surfing, and motorcycles. Now I give him a hard time—talk back and express my opinion—and he listens and understands. I handle all the money, make all the decisions about our company. Sometimes I wish he was a Svengali, so he could take care of everything. But he won’t.”

“I don’t run out of the door every time I have a problem. That’s probably why my marriage to Paul [Anka] works when some couples are having a fight every two minutes.”

“A recipe for a great chocolate souffle doesn’t hurt.”

“It takes a good sense of humor and talking about touching as much as you can—especially when you don’t want to.”