I was in dire need of an energy boost when I hopped on a Zoom call with Katya Zamolodchikova in the middle of my workday. But when the RuPaul's Drag Race alum dialed in and complimented the MAC Russian Red lipstick I specifically wore in his honor ("Nasty.com/gorge," in case you were wondering), suddenly, I didn't need that third cup of coffee to keep up.
Katya is known for his indelible one-liners ("Hello, we're having weather," anyone?) and quick-witted riffing, which came out in full force during our chat about his latest endeavor with Grindr, Who's The Asshole? Katya is taking the hosting reigns on the unfiltered 5-episode podcast series, where he gives advice to Grindr users seeking guidance in their relationships via a submission hotline. (Okay, how do I dial in? Signed, a bisexual who's survived one too many situationships in her lifetime.) The sex-positive podcast, which debuts February 15 on YouTube and Spotify, dives headfirst into real stories, topics, and trends surrounding queer sex and relationships. Katya is also joined by star-studded guests like Saucy Santana, Orville Peck, Jordan Firstman, Trace Lysette, and Jack Harrison-Quintana.
The drag performer's larger-than-life personality bodes extremely well for a podcast as he perfectly mixes unserious punchlines with real takes on safety in the dating world. Oh, and he'll do anything to whip out an obscure pop culture reference. Not to mention, Katya provides an instant comfort that eases into natural chemistry with his Who's The Asshole? guests. When I say riffing with him is like doing verbal gymnastics, I mean it as the highest compliment. Staying that emotionally stimulated should be considered an Olympic sport, and dear reader, Katya is going to win the gold every time. While speaking to Cosmopolitan below, Katya dished all about his new project, what it's like sharing dating stories with bestie/seemingly eternal co-worker/musician/beauty mogul Trixie Mattel, and the right moment to actually be an asshole.
You and your bestie, Trixie Mattel, are a package deal on projects like UNHhhh and The Bald and the Beautiful. How different was it to host solo on Who’s The Asshole?
It's important for me to do projects without Trixie to remind myself that I'm a person and that I'm capable of sending out deliverables. This is all Corporate Erin speak—I'm capable of providing deliverables and assets. I'm capable of communicating with people and listening.
As someone providing deliverables on a relationships podcast now, what’s the best dating advice you’ve gotten from (or given to!) Trixie?
No advice is given, but ears are listened to and mouths are flapping both ways. My observation has been that Trixie's a person who has to know things herself before she acts on them. She's not gonna take advice from me because I've done everything wrong—I've made all the mistakes and continue to make them. Being seven years her senior, I've seen a lot more things that she has, but she also has areas of expertise that I have not even scratched upon yet, such as music. It's a really interesting relationship. We're like two sides of a bongo or something. [Sings] My back shots sound like bongos!
Who was your favorite guest on Who’s The Asshole?
Katya: Jordan Firstman. It was love at first sentence. When he walked into the set, I was like, "Are you joking?" And he goes, "No." I'm like, "Okay, great. I love you," and now we're friends. That's how it works. It was instantaneous. I was like, "Oh, this is a friend," because I want to fuck him, but we share the same agent. I was like, "Oh, no. Wait a minute. Friends. Friendship!" Like the best sex in the world, our conversation was effortless. When you're Katie Couric and you have a guest, and it's like "bing, bang, bong" [in terms of flow]. It's so pleasurable.
Then Trace Lysette, oh my God, I don't even know where to begin. She's so disarmingly beautiful. We had started out like, "Hi, how are you? How's it going?" and then 45 minutes later, she said, "Well as a post-op transsexual with a Bangkok pussy..." The fact that that came out of her mouth was amazing.
According to Katya—is there a right time to be an asshole? What would that situation be?
Of course! But it's a one-on-one relationship. So you get to decide, "Am I the asshole? Are you the asshole?" It's like when people say, "I'm a good kisser." Well, I'll be the judge of that. You either live long enough to use Grindr or see yourself become the villain.
How have sex/relationships changed for you in a post-Grindr universe?
Grindr has 13 million users, baby. Count 'em. Honey, I get to have S-E-X all over the W-O-R-L-D—that part. "She's 13 feet away!" [Imitates Grindr's infamous notification sound.] Am I a Grindr fan? Am I a Grindr fan? Pull up in the Srilanka.
If you were to submit a question to an advice hotline á la Who’s The Asshole, what would you ask? What does Katya seek guidance for?
I'd be like, "Excuse me, I have a question. This motherfucker climbed on top of me with the littlest dick you've ever seen in your life. He had the unmedicated gall, girl. He looked into my pretty green eyes and said, 'Am I hurting you?' I said, 'Hurting me? Motherfucker, you are tickling me. Get the fuck up off me. Leave the coins on the dresser and hit the door.' Was I the asshole?"
What are some essentials or fool-proof tips for your perfect date night?
Are you kidding me? Smell good. Be douched. Exfoliate, moisturize, light a candle, provide an ambiance, and create a playlist. Be a host. Par excellence. Know the exits. Know where the knives are. Where's your weaponry? How's the arsenal? Do you have a friend on speakerphone? Do you have cameras? Mama, there's so much to think about when you invite somebody into your home for sex. It's no joke. If you're going to somebody's house in this day and age, prioritize safety and anonymity. I mean, it's wild out there these days in the digital world.
If you could tell a queer twenty-something anything about sex and relationships, what would you say?
Enjoy your body before anybody else gets to enjoy it. Because if you can't enjoy your flesh, you shouldn't allow anybody to have the pleasure. Here's the thing—I didn't have anal sex until I was 30 because I said, "I am not feeling pain. There will be no blood. There will be no non-consensual activities on this body of mine." It's a fragile fleeting thing, this body, and you only get one go around. It's like a car, right? Some people get a Toyota, some people get a Lexus. Do you get the tune-up? Do you take it to get the oil changed? Do you wash it? Take care of it, because it's the only one you've got in this lifetime. It's very precious.
Would you be down to host another season of Who’s The Asshole or venture into another solo podcast?
Hell yeah! I'm in my Katie Couric era. Let's do this.
The first episode of Grindr Presents: Who’s The Asshole? premieres on February 15 and can be viewed on YouTube and streamed wherever you get your podcasts.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
