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How to do the apex sex position, plus 5 expert-approved variations
Full disclosure: this one may be on the more advanced side. Here’s how to make it work for you
Some sex positions are popular because they’re easy. The apex is popular because it’s… not. It takes strength, co-ordination, and a shared willingness to try something that might end up a little chaotic.
“The Apex position is not for the faint of heart, but the pay-off can be well worth it for those up to the challenge,” says sex therapist Jenni Skyler, a sex expert for Adam & Eve. Basically, the receiver does a plank over a bed, table, or other sturdy surface while their partner stands behind, holding their legs for a wheelbarrow/doggy mash-up.
“For many couples, the athletic aspect of the apex is part of the thrill, along with deeper penetration.” Skyler adds.
There’s also the intimacy of trying something new (and potentially difficult) together. “Trying this is a bonding experience,” says Angie Rowntree, founder and director of Sssh.com. “If you’re in a rut or want to explore some not-so-vanilla positions, the apex adds an element of adventure and playfulness.”
But playfulness only goes so far. “The apex does not offer direct stimulation to the clitoris,” says Skyler. So if either partner primarily orgasms via clit stim, just be warned that this position may not be the most orgasmic. Consider the apex a fun challenge and plan to get each other off later via less advanced means.
And if you need to tap out early? “It’s totally okay and normal if you can only hold apex for a minute or less,” says Rowntree. “Laugh, try again, or switch to something more comfortable.”
Ready for lift-off? Here is how to (maybe!) do the apex, plus a few easier variations.
The apex
How to do it: The receiver leans over a bed or table, resting their weight on their hands. The giver stands behind them, then lifts their partner’s hips onto their penis or strap-on. The penetrating partner holds the receiver’s legs while thrusting.
Pros: Extremely deep penetration; achievement unlocked.
Cons: You both have to be in decent shape for this. “When prepping for Apex, make sure you are getting in your push-ups and/or pilates so you can be strong enough to pull it off,” says Skyler.
Switch it up: “For extra eroticism, try this position in front of a full-length mirror!” Skyler recommends.
Make it hotter: Enhance the experience with a little sensory deprivation by adding a blindfold.
Half apex
How to do it: The receiver leans over a bed or table and the giver stands behind them, lifting their hips to enter. The receiver rests their knee on the furniture to lighten the load.
Pros: All the benefits of the traditional apex, but a little easier.
Cons: “The nature of this position means you won’t exactly have a free hand to stroke the receiver’s clitoris (or your own if that’s you),” says Rowntree. “Consider having your partner wear a vibrating cock ring to enhance friction.”
Switch it up: Let the receiver keep one foot on the ground for easier balance — switch legs mid-session for fresh angles without requiring full lift.
Make it hotter: “No shame in switching to a deep doggy with both feet on the ground,” Rowntree recommends.
Accessible apex
How to do it: The receiver rests their upper body on a bed or counter. The giver stands behind, lifting their partner’s hips or legs. “The receiver can wrap their legs around the giver’s waist and press their feet against the giver’s glutes for extra leverage,” says Rowntree.
Pros: This has all the benefits of the regular version, but requires much less arm strength from the receiver.
Cons: The giver still has to do some lifting. For better leverage, they can lean back.
Switch it up: Try this with a wearable couples’ toy.
Make it hotter: The receiver can get more stimulation by lubing up their hand and humping it.
Reverse apex
How to do it: The receiver lies back on the edge of the bed, while the giver stands between their partner’s legs and lifts their hips.
Pros: Face-to-face intimacy, deeper penetration, and more opportunity for clit stim.
Cons: Still some lifting involved for the giver. “Prop the receiver’s hips with pillows or a sex wedge to ease the heavy lifting,” says Rowntree.
Switch it up: Have the penetrator stay still inside their partner while the receiver brings themselves to orgasm with a hand or toy.
Make it hotter: “If you want a beat of super intense penetration, you could transition into piledriver,” says Rowntree.
The oral apex
How to do it: “Ditch penetration for your preferred flavour of oral action,” says Rowntree. “The receiver leans over and the giver sits and lifts their legs over their shoulders.”
Pros: A different angle and the sensation of weightlessness for the receiver. Plus it also works for rimming.
Cons: Again, much hoisting involved. “This one can be surprisingly core-and-thigh intense, so go slow, take breaks, and adjust as needed,” says Rowntree.
Switch it up: For more of a head rush situation, the giver can try standing.
Make it hotter: Perfect opportunity to try out a new flavoured lube.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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