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33 romantic sex positions that’ll boost your intimacy like never before
Get ready for a new level of connection 🔥
The most romantic sex positions are the ones that make you feel like there’s no one else in the world except you and your partner(s). But to achieve that deep, intense connection, it’s all about the slow burn. There’s a reason it takes the main characters in romance fantasies so long to finally get together. Big build-up = more romance, and that build-up starts way before you hit the sheets.
“If you want to make your sex more romantic, think of connection outside of the bedroom,” says sex and relationships psychotherapist Sarah Kelleher. “What makes you feel connected to your partner aside from physicality? Is it riveting conversation? Doing something new or outside-the-box together? Going to dinner just the two of you?” Infusing your whole relationship with connection and fun can bring that same vibe to your sex life.
One way to intensify that slow burn might surprise you: schedule sex. No, really, put it in your calendars, write it in your planner, send a Partiful invite — lean into it and make it A Thing. “I encourage couples to be intentional about romantic time,” says clinical sexologist and sex coach Georgia Rose. Putting a sex date on the calendar builds anticipation for what’s coming up. Sext about how you can’t wait to get your hands on each other, send a voice memo detailing ~exactly~ what you want to do to them, and just generally try to drive each other half mad with lust.
Enhance the feeling that something special will be going down by creating a sexy space. Light some mood-setting candles, and set out some luxe lube, a selection of sex toys, or fancy BDSM gear. Once you’re finally — finally! — in bed together, pay close attention to how good it feels. “When you slow it down and really take time to feel every part of your partner, you can make the sexual experience more intense and romantic,” says Cosmopolitan columnist Zachary Zane, LGBTQ+ expert for Lovehoney.
Once the mood is set and you’re ready to connect, try out one of these ultra-swoonworthy, romantic positions.
The See Saw
The Lotus position from Tantra is an ancient position for romance and deep connection. “Facing your partner, sit in their lap and mount them, with your legs wrapped snugly around their waist. Lock lips, share a breath, so that as one person inhales the other exhales,” says Kelleher.
Add a modern twist by holding hands and leaning back, so you can gaze at each other while you move. “As you breathe, rock your pelvis back and tighten your pelvic muscles. Your partner should mirror your movements.” Add some spice down below with an arousal gel.
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The Serving Spoon
The hugging/fucking combo that is spooning is also a romantic classic, but even more-so if the big spoon takes the little spoon’s pleasure into their own hands, literally.
“Give yourself permission to give a lot of hands-on instruction. Show your partner how you want to be touched,” says Kelleher. If a hand isn’t quite doing it for you, feel free to bust out a favourite toy and provide explicit instructions on what to do with it.
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The Big Reveal
Romance doesn’t need to be all heart-eyes and emotion — it can also be primal and intense. Try a pose where the receiver sits on their partner’s extended legs and straddles their partner’s penis or strap-on. “Once the giver is comfortable, the receiver arches their back into a back bend (be careful not to strain the lower back),” says Kelleher. “This position provides grip and oomph when thrusting.” It also gives focused simulation to the upper wall of the vagina.
If the receiver can’t exactly do a back bend, just lean back and spread your legs and give your partner one hell of a view.
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Closed Missionary
“Open to some serious Os?” asks Angie Rowntree, founder and director Sssh.com. The answer, obviously, is: hell yes.
“Try closed missionary,” she says. “This twist on a classic position allows for plenty of clitoral stimulation and slower penetration… which is generally ideal for most people with vulvas. The clitoris should always be invited to the party. Closed missionary not only achieves this, but if you love edging until you’re at the brink, it’s the ultimate tease.” Throw a vibrating cock ring in there for extra buzziness.
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Sideways Tango
This is the closest you can get to doing the tango (the dance of seduction!) while remaining in bed.
“Getting intermeshed with a lover and finding some connection helps gets those happy hormones flooding your systems. This position combines all the feel-good of cuddling with all the sexiness of genital connection,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer.
Plus both of y’all have a hand free for toy use.
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The Princess and the P
Watching each other in the throes of raw sex is about as intimate as it gets. “This is a great active position for the person being penetrated,” says Stewart. “Being able to use your feet to anchor yourself provides you with the stability that you need and the ability to help you rock your hips in place just the way that you like. It’s also a way to show off your moves.” Plus it’s easy for the bottom person to rub their partner’s clit with a lubey thumb or bullet vibe.
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The Sexy CAT
According to Netflix’s steamiest show Sex/Life (season 1, episode 5, if you must) the coital alignment technique, provides “the ultimate connection, both physical and emotional.”
The position, aka CAT, is a version of missionary where the person on top moves their pelvis up on the bottom person’s body and grinds instead of thrusts. The result is much more clitoral contact and a slower, more intimate experience for all. A clitoral alignment, if you will.
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Super Slo-Mo
Try a basic position like missionary and slow it way down — like, to a ridiculous degree. Super slo-mo sex can really put you in the moment, so every touch feels amplified. Let yourselves linger over a kiss, a hand brushing against a thigh, a gentle suck on an earlobe. Make a deal not to even talk during it and just communicate via moans and sighs.
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A Loving Hand
Even the humble hand job can be romanced up if you decide to make it so. Kiss, lick, and stroke your partner while murmuring about what you like about their body and what you’re seeing. (Think: “Your cock is so swollen”, “Your lips are puffing up”.) Adjust the level of dirty talk, according to taste. (“You look so good right now” works for pretty much all occasions.)
Bring out a special stroker/clit toy for the occasion, because amazing orgasms are also highly romantic.
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The Double Blind
Yes, eye contact is huge for romantic sex, but… so is mutual blindfolding. You’ll be extra-focused on how your partner is touching you, but also more attuned to how they feel/sound/smell/taste to you.
Whether you move it to oral, penetrative, or mutual hand jobs, really notice the sensory things happening — the scent of your partner’s neck, the taste of a drop of pre-cum, or the particular way they moan. So. Hot.
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The Throwback
Remember how insanely hot early make-out sessions were? Lots of awkward and ill-formed pawing, yes, but also that sort of desperate grinding against each other where you just… wanted.
Recreate it with a fully clothed make-out session and revel/suffer in that feeling of wanting each other so damn much. You can end up fully naked or go all in with the outercourse, whether that’s a toy pressed against jeans or an old-timey dry hump.
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The Melting Hug
For a really deep feeling of connection, try a Tantric bonding exercise called the Melting Hug. “Undress yourselves very slowly in front of one another and then wrap yourselves in a long, full-body embrace (standing up only) for 10-15 minutes, breathing in unison,” says Rose.
“It’s a deeply bonding practice that helps relax partners into a sexual and erotic space together.” This can lead to something or be the something — it’s that intense.
The Rocking Horse
For a romanced-up version of cowgirl, have the bottom person sit straight up, leaning back on a wall or headboard for support. Press your upper bodies together (getting really close? Check ✅) for ample kissing (check ✅), eye contact (check ✅), and caressing (well, that’s just always good).
“The rocking motion of the top partner is great for stimulating the vulva, but if you love clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex, a C-shaped vibrator or vibrating penis ring work really well in this position,” says certified sexpert Isabelle Uren, writer at Bedbible.com.
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The Lotus of Love
This classic Tantric position is pretty much the *it* position for romance. “This is, IMO, the all-time greatest intimate position, with tonnes of opportunity for kissing, talking, eye contact, and upper body contact,” says staff sexologist at Good Vibes, Carol Queen, curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum in San Francisco.
Once you’re situated on your partner’s lap, just rock slowly, gazing at each other and basking in the sexiness.
The Lovers Embrace
It’s easy, super intimate, and sexy AF. “Think missionary but on your side,” says dominatrix Ruby Payne, sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky. You lie facing each other, entwining yourselves however your bodies fit together. “The key to this one is to move together in a rhythm.”
Good for holding each other tightly, lots of eye contact, and, if you want to press a wee bullet vibe in there, nobody’s stopping you 👀
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The Lap Dance
A lap dance is not just super hot, it also can be super intimate. “Take some time to kiss, caress, and gaze into one another’s eyes as you straddle them,” says sex and relationship expert, Jess O’Reilly, host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast.
“Face-to-face positions may be more appealing if you feel eye contact creates a stronger connection and deepens feelings of intimacy. Slow your breath and breathe. You can experience physiological synchronisation, and the shared movement and flow can help you to tune into the moment, which can lead to heightened pleasure and intimacy.”
Synchronised Missionary
Missionary is all kinds of amazing, especially if you personalise it. Try wrapping your legs around your partner, recommends polyamorous cannabis activist Tiana GlittersaurusRex, co-founder of The Sex Work Survival Guide, a non-profit organisation advocating for sex workers. “I also love to grab their ass and be a part of the same movements they’re making.”
The Big Quiet Spoon
“It’s a spooning position where the front partner controls all movements with regard to speed and depth while the rear partner stays still,” says O'Reilly. “Abstaining from movement and allowing your partner to take control, with open communication and checking in, can create both an erotic and connected experience.” Yes, please.
Slow 69
Get rid of the rushed multi-tasking that can be 69-ing by slowing it way down. You’ll have plenty of time to focus on the feel and taste of your partner while letting your arousal build up slowly and organically. Give oral at one-half, or one-fourth speed to make extra sure nobody’s rushing, and don’t let each other have an orgasm until it becomes (almost) unbearable.
The Focus Group
Gazing into each other’s eyes is instantly bonding and can feel incredibly intimate. Try touching yourselves or each other while looking into each other’s eyes. Instead of closing your eyes as you orgasm, keep looking at them. Or perform oral sex and look up and them when they finish. It can be a deeply passionate experience.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
Korin Miller is a freelance writer who lives by the beach. She has big hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.
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