The best sex machines for every budget

One thing about playing solo with a sex machine is that it is, unmistakably, a machine. If it’s realistic sensations you're after, Bellesa has wrapped those authentic vibes up in one seven inch thrusting and vibrating package.

To set yourself up for a night (or day, no judgment here!) of pleasure, suction cup the base to your preferred surface, twist the angle, lube up, and let the three thrusting speeds and 10 vibration patterns go to pound town.

Or if you’re looking for a little more control, dismount the firm silicone dildo from its base and hold it yourself for even more customisable penetration. There’s something you can’t do with a real schlong!

“I think it may be concerning how obsessed I am with this,” one reviewer raved. Shall we race you to the checkout?

A fun crossover in the world of sex tech: a lot of masturbators for people with penises can *technically* be classed as a sex machine. This hands-free one from Kiiroo is, without a doubt, a machine — as it’s as techy as they come.

Moving at up to 230 strokes per minute, the Keon can be filled with any of the brand’s FeelStrokers — AKA fleshlight sleeves.

It can be rested against any surface to imitate your choice of oral, vaginal, or anal sex (you can even choose a stroker based on your fave model’s features, but beware — these are sold separately for up to £55).

But, if the sensations alone aren’t enough for you, it can also be synced with VR erotic content, or synced with your partner’s Kiiroo toy to control their pleasure with your strokes.

Talk about technology! We see the future, and it is bright <3.

Designed by the creators of the famous — and much more expensive — Cowgirl Riding Sex Machine, this smaller version condenses its best parts into a beginner-friendly-sized motor.

Shaped like (duh) a cone, the base sends 20 vibrations patterns and 10 intensities through its two attachments: a realistic five-inch dildo, which can be used for vaginal or anal penetration; and a textured grinding nub, which can be used to stimulate your C-spot or perineum.

Simply suction cup the base to a surface, snap your attachment of choice into place via the magnet, and slather plenty of water-based lube on your genitals before hopping on board. Get riding, cowgirl!

A sex toy that calls itself a ‘lounger’? Take our money immediately. The Louisiana Lounger is the ultimate lazy-girl’s sex machine with a comfy inflatable couch to recline on while the dildo attachment does its work.

With a remote control and wrist and ankle cuffs for hands-free play — or some BDSM action with a partner — this sex machine offers multiple vibration speeds and a range of attachments for mixing up your pleasure sensations.

The bed blows up in a matter of minutes with the help of a foot pump — camping flashbacks anyone? — so is easy to disassemble and pack away if you’re in need of space.

The three choices of dildo include a realistic penis-style vibrator, a G-spot vibrator, and a jelly vibrator for a little more flexibility so you can have fun figuring out what works best for you.

Okay, we love the idea of being able to take your sex machine with you wherever you go because, why not?! This one may be small in size, but the thrusting power is huge. Very demure, very mindful.

A zero to 90 degree angle adjustment means this sex machine is *super* customisable. Just secure with the suction base and let loose with the nine different positions and three thrusting speeds — which can be controlled via the remote or an app on your phone.

With this toy, you’ll get five centimetres of thrusting depth, and because it can be fixed to just about any dry surface, it’s great if you struggle with balance or mobility — you can easily use it while lying or sitting down, steadying yourself against a wall or while using other sex furniture, the choice is yours.

One of the sexier machines on this list, Lovense’s thrusting masturbator is actually fairly discreet. The Solace can reach up to 280 strokes per minute and comes with an adjustable desk mount, so you can switch up positions for a totally indulgent solo session.

There’s unlimited thrusting patterns, and the machine can even be controlled via the Lovense app, so you can play with a long-distance lover. It has a run-time of 12 hours... do with that what you will.

The pièce de résistance, though? You can sync the masturbator with movies, games, and music, and it will match the streamer’s motion, making for a hyper-realistic, immersive experience.

Not everyone wants to have to rearrange their whole cupboard to fit a whopper of a sex machine in when they’re not using it.

Even less than that (can you believe) do you want to get into an argument with your partner while assembling the machine — trust us, it’s like arguing about Ikea furniture but on a whole other, less sexy level.

To avoid the unchic-ness of either of those scenarios, Lovense has created a mini sex machine. Not only is it easy to assemble, but it’s super lightweight (so you can get it on anywhere around your house without breaking your back), and can be connected to — or controlled by — a ton of other Lovense toys to unlock two-way stimulation.

It’s up to you whether you share that with a partner or keep both for yourself — no judgement here!

This saddle-style thrusting machine comes with three different attachments and seven modes to take you from a gentle arousal to mind-blowing intensity.

Listen, if you’re interested in investing in a sex machine, we know you’re not looking for a mild ride, so believe us when we say this is a super powerful toy — we’re talking up to 300 thrusts per minute. That’s stamina not many humans can compete with, so you see the appeal of these machines.

The three attachments are lifelike silicone shafts in different sizes and we recommend starting with the smallest, just to test the speed and power of the motor. The machine delivers a thrust of about three inches, so if you feel like you want more, size up.

This machine also delivers vibrations and you can control them with the handy remote, leaving you free to relax into whatever position feels good. Be sure to use plenty of lube and ride to your heart’s content.

Looking for a (fairly ostentatious) gift for your partner with a penis? Yep, there’s sex machines for that, too.

The Autoblow — arguably the world’s most famous blow job machine — was crowdfunded into existence, and its AI version is no exception. Launched in 2019, the Autoblow AI was trained on hours upon hours of oral sex videos, which culminated in 10 set blow job styles that more accurately reflected the real thing (with all the pauses and irregular rhythms that comes with it).

This version, the Autoblow AI Ultra, still boasts this training, as well as 10 blow job styles and 10 speeds, but is even smoother than its predecessor for an even more lifelike BJ. You can also connect to the internet (via the accompanying app) to access more styles, play remotely, and set up voice controls, so you can simply tell the machine what kind of experience you want while you’re having it.

Talk about a high-tech wank!

The OG of the sex robots, the Motorbunny is a serious saddle-style sex machine. If you’re looking for the most powerful rumbles in the business, this is where you’ll find them.

Akin to a mechanical bull (yeehaw), this machine delivers an intense 7,000 vibrations per minute via a hefty rotation motor. It comes with four starter attachments — flat, small, medium, and large so you can grind or ride, depending on your preference.

Tough metal eyelets at each corner mean you can also clip on separate accessories like the brand’s knee pads or wrist and ankle restraints, too.

And the Motorbunny Bluetooth app means you can add in commands like ‘reverse rotation’, ‘twirl’, and ‘buzz’ and sync your bunny to music too. Yes, this sex machine has a hefty price tag but listen, it’s more affordable than a Peloton and you really, *really* get what you pay for with this one.

This one we’d invest in just for the name, seriously. The Cowgirl is an industrial-sized vibrator — cowboy boots optional, but encouraged.

Another saddle-style sex machine with a saddle-shaped curve on the seat for extra grip, this larger than life toy boasts a versatile 360° swivel rotation, multiple modes of vibration, and a choice of two silicone attachments — one flat and one G-spot.

A powerful 1,200 RPM of vibration and the flat textured silicone attachment with 10 springs and a shallow bump for grinding will keep you glued to the comfy padded seat. Or opt for blended orgasms with the four-inch curved probe for internal G-spot stimulation.

You can either go cordless with with the app or use the remote, which has a three-metre cord. We happen to prefer the app, which offers real-time interaction with a partner and the fun option of handing over control.