We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.
12 essential pieces of bondage and BDSM equipment for beginners
From pinwheels to ball gags
Expert consulted: Annabelle Knight Bsc Dip
DISCLAIMER: Always get consent when trying something new. If you are unsure about any of the terms mentioned in this article please refer to our expert guide to BDSM. If you are concerned about your safety or need advice on sex and sexuality, speak with a sexual health professional or counsellor or contact Brook for anonymous support.
With kink events and fetish dating apps more popular in mainstream culture than ever, you may have started to get a little curious about bondage and BDSM. Or maybe you’ve been eager to experiment with bondage or BDSM for a while, but you haven’t known where to (safely!) start – or what equipment you’ll need. Well, you’ve come to the right place. But before we get into some tips, you might be wondering: what exactly is the appeal of BDSM?
“Lots of people are intrigued by the exchange of power, and the opportunity to explore dominance and submission in a controlled environment,” says Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationship expert and author of The Matchmaker’s Match. “Experimenting with bondage scenarios allows for this exploration within the relationship, while BDSM can enhance intimacy between two partners, as it requires a high level of communication and trust, which can help to deepen your emotional bond.”
Both bondage and BDSM can also just be fun – and hot. “The physical sensations involved in BDSM, such as the feeling of restraints or the impact of spanking, can be highly pleasurable and incredibly arousing,” continues Knight, adding that these techniques can be used for psychological play, too. “The roles and scenarios in BDSM can fulfil psychological desires and fantasies, offering a sense of escape and excitement, and can help with personal empowerment, allowing individuals to express different facets of their personalities in a consensual, controlled, and pleasurable way.”
How can I get started with bondage and BDSM?
Well, it all starts with a conversation. But what exactly do you talk about? Knight has some tips.
- Interest and boundaries: Discuss your curiosities about BDSM. Clearly define your boundaries and listen to your partner’s as well. All good sex comes from communicating your desires as well as understanding what your partner wants.
- Safe words: Establish a safe word or signal that can be used to pause or stop the activity if anyone feels uncomfortable. Try to think of something you’d be unlikely to say usually.
- Expectations and goals: Talk about what you hope to gain from the experience and any specific activities or scenarios you want to try.
- Consent and trust: Ensure that both partners fully consent to try BDSM and trust each other to respect limits and safety measures.
What equipment do I need?
Knight says beginners should introduce equipment gradually. “Start with simple activities that require minimal tools, such as blindfolds or light bondage with scarves or ties,” she explains. “And always think about yours and your partner’s comfort level and limits before introducing more complex equipment. Slow and steady usually wins the race. To make an informed choice, you have to first be... informed. Educate yourselves on what sort of accessories are out there and how to use them. You need to know the proper use and safety measures for any equipment you plan to use.”
“Starting with BDSM requires openness, communication, and trust,” she continues. “It’s important to approach it with a sense of exploration and mutual respect. Always prioritise safety and consent, and take the time to learn and grow together as a couple.”
So, to help you get started, we’ve rounded up 12 pieces of newbie-friendly bondage and BDSM equipment that will soon become essential to your play. The first 5 on this list are Knight’s most essential recs if you’re just getting started.
Simple satin blindfold
When you lose one of your senses, it can heighten all of your others, which is why a blindfold should be top of your list when it comes to enhancing pleasure during sex. With your vision cut off, you’ll be able to fully concentrate on sensations. Fair warning: it can be a little scary at first, so ask your partner to start off gentle.
Knight’s tips: “Ensure it the blindfold fits securely but is comfortable, and communicate clearly about boundaries and safe signals. Remember, the blindfolded person no longer has body language to read so verbal signals are even more important.”
SHOP NOW Satin Blindfold, Amazon, £7.24
Soft handcuffs
You know those metal handcuffs you see everywhere? Please never, ever use these. They’re hard, sharp and can cut into your wrists. Good quality cuffs will be padded and soft, making them comfortable for extended use. Plus, they’re quick to put on and easy to remove, often with velcro or buckle closures. This makes them less intimidating for beginners compared to metal cuffs.
Knight’s tips: “Check for tightness regularly to ensure circulation isn’t cut off. It’s also a good idea to use a safety word to stop play immediately if discomfort occurs.”
SHOP NOW Bondage Boutique Soft Handcuffs, Lovehoney, £12.99
Flogger
Floggers are so awesome because, depending on how you use them, they can provide a whole range of sensations for the floggee. Make sure you use a flogger with a wrist loop so that you’re always in control of the implement. Trail it across your partners skin, or go a little harder with a firm flick.
Knight’s tips: “Start with light, even strokes to gauge your partner’s reactions and keep talking to your partner to ensure they’re fully enjoying the experience. Although it’s easier to control the intensity of a flogger than some other impact tools, it still requires practice to use effectively and safely. And you’ll need plenty of space to swing without causing unintentional injury.”
SHOP NOW Signature Flogger, Ann Summers, £14.00
Nipple clamps
Nipple clamps sound scary, but they’re really not. If you’re up for adding heightened sensation to one of your main erogenous zones (why do so many people ignore the nips during sex?!), go for these little cuties. They also have mini vibrators attached which feel amazing when switched on.
Knight’s tips: “Go for adjustable clamps, which can offer a new level of sensation without being overly intense.”
SHOP NOW Sweet Love Vibrating Nipple Clamps, Bondara, £18.99
Ball gag
“Ball gags add to the submissive experience by limiting speech,” says Knight. “They also have a psychological impact by enhancing the feeling of helplessness and submission for the wearer. However, they might be uncomfortable for some people or cause jaw pain if worn too long. Ball gags do however limit verbal communication, meaning that you’ll need to agree on a non-verbal safe signal.”
Go for a ball gag that’s made of silicone so it’s comfortable to wear in your mouth. This one has double stitched (v strong) fabric ties. It’s a good gag for beginners as the ball is just 1.75 inches.
Knight’s tips: “Ensure that the gag fits properly and is not too large for the wearer’s mouth. Agree on a non-verbal safe signal before using.”
SHOP NOW Sexy Satin Mouth Gag, Queer in the World, £39
Pinwheel
Although it was first used (and still is) as a medical device for neurological use – for testing nerve sensitivity – the Wartenberg pinwheel is now also a BDSM staple. It’s easy to see why; there is, after all, a fine line between pleasure and pain.
The little device, which comprises a handle and a wheel with evenly-spaced sharp pins, is typically used for tickle play, but is also great for teasing your partner or enhancing pleasure during play. The pinwheel creates a range of feelings from gentle prickles to more intense spikiness. It’s also easy to use and versatile and can be used on various parts of the body.
And if you’re not in a sexy mood? Dw! It makes for a relaxing massage tool, too.
Knight’s tips: “Start with light pressure and communicate with your partner about comfort levels and avoid areas with thin skin or close to bones. Be warned: if used incorrectly, they can cause injury by way of scratches or punctures. Pinwheels may not be suitable for you if you have very sensitive skin.”
SHOP NOW Bondage Boutique Tease Me Silly Wartenberg Pinwheel, Lovehoney, £14.99
Under-the-bed restraints
If, like most people, you don’t have a dungeon complete with sex swings under your flat, under-the-bed restraints are perfect. You attach them underneath your mattress so the wrist and ankle cuffs sit at either end. You can easily remove the kit and take it away wherever you want to play. They’re also super discrete as they’re hidden under the mattress, even when not in use. But, warns Knight, these restraints can take a bit of time to set up initially, and can look a little confusing at first glance.
Knight’s tips: “Practice setting it up before the actual play session, and ensure any quick-release mechanisms are understood by both partners.”
SHOP NOW Beginners Bed Restraint Kit, Ann Summers, £30
Bondage tape
If you want to be bound (or bind someone to something) bondage tape is such a legit option. It doesn’t stick to your skin because it’s pure magic and only sticks to itself. It can also be cut to any length and used for restraints or gags, and doesn’t stick to hair or skin, nor does it leave any sticky residue. The only thing bondage tape sticks to is itself.
However, says Knight, bondage tape isn’t that environmentally friendly, as it’s often not reusable. It can also become uncomfortable if applied too tightly or for too long.
Knight’s tips: “Use bondage-specific tape for safety and comfort, and avoid wrapping too tightly to prevent circulation issues.”
SHOP NOW Bondage Tape, Ann Summers, £10
Riding crop
If you’re planning on a bit of pleasure/pain, a riding crop’s a good place to start. You want the leather to be soft and supple too. “Bondage crops and whips are fantastic for precise impact on targeted areas,” says Knight. “They’re also versatile when it comes to sensations, as they can deliver light taps to sharp smacks depending on what it is you want. And they win points for visual appeal. They look the part and help to add to the psychological aspect of play. However, if used incorrectly they can cause significant pain and marks if used with force.”
Knight’s tips: “Practice on a pillow or other surface to get a feel for it. Start with light taps and build up intensity slowly. Keep an open dialogue going with your partner so you get used to the type of intensity they enjoy.”
SHOP NOW Master Series Stallion Riding Crop, Simply Pleasure, £16.95
Spanking paddle
I mean, spanking paddles are pretty self-explanatory right?
“Spanking paddles can provide a range of sensations from mild to intense,” says Knight. “They’re simple to use and easy to direct. Paddles also come in various sizes and materials for different experiences.”
This one is not only so, so cute, but it’s butt cheek-shaped for ultimate impact. The handle is super flexible so the spank it provides is soft but very satisfying. The other side is lined with faux fur – spank with the leather side then stroke your partner better with the soft fur.
It’s worth noting that spanking paddles can leave marks or bruises if used with too much force, says Knight. “They can be quite loud, which may be an issue in some environments, especially if you live in a shared environment and want to enjoy play in secret.”
Knight’s tips: “Start with gentle taps and gradually increase the intensity and experiment with different types of paddles with different textures to vary sensations.”
SHOP NOW Leather Heart Spanking Paddle, Sh!, £30
Padded paddle
If you’re after a longer paddle, this is such a lovely one. The pink heart is very soft and squishy as it’s padded. The paddle is 12 inches long and shaped perfectly for a good old fashioned spanking.
SHOP NOW Padded Heart Spanker, Sh!, £29
Bondage rope
Rope is a key item in any bondage babe’s toy box because it’s simple but so versatile. Make sure the rope you use is soft and won’t cut into you. This one’s made from cotton so it’s safe to play with – but its matte finish means your knots won’t slip out too easily.
“Bondage rope is great for getting creative with things like Shibari, an artistic Japanese bondage technique that uses beautiful ties and twists of rope,” says Knight, “and it’s also customisable, as it can be cut and tied to fit individual needs. Role play does, however, require a knowledge of knots and safety techniques, and poses the risk of potential injury if tied improperly.”
Knight’s tips: “Learn basic bondage knots and safety tips before using, and always keep scissors nearby to quickly cut the rope in case of an emergency.”
SHOP NOW Bondage Boutique Soft Bondage Rope 10 Metre, Lovehoney, £14.99
Paisley is the former Sex and Relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK. She covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ. She definitely reveals too much about her personal life on the Internet.
Annabelle Knight Bsc Dip is one of the most relevant experts when it comes to dating, sex and relationships, a certified couples counsellor, qualified life coach and has a diploma in psychosexual therapy.
In print Annabelle is Fabulous Magazine's resident Sexpert, contributor for The Sun, The Metro, The Telegraph and Cosmopolitan magazine on all things sex, dating and relationships and has a weekly full page column in Now Magazine.
The best online sex shops to bookmark for later
Yep, you need a vibrating cock ring
The 26 best bullet vibrators to try RN
The best cock rings, recommended by a sex writer
