When I say that romantasy books have changed my life, that isn’t hyperbole. Not only have they made me fall back in love with reading, these novels — with all their slow build tension, enemies to lovers tropes, and, yes, sex — have also allowed me to rediscover my own body, learn more about what brings me pleasure, and, most importantly, helped me have great sex. My solo play has been 10/10, no notes since I discovered I can get myself off by reading smutty scenes — and I’ve also got romantasy to thank for one of my best partnered sexual encounters in recent years.
In 2024, I had just moved cities and was beginning a new life, far away from my friends, family, and home comforts. Naturally, I turned to dating apps to meet people — and hopefully get my love life going.
In the first week or so, I met Margot*, who immediately turned my world upside down. I’m bisexual, but I definitely consider myself to represent an age-old lesbian stereotype when I date girls: I fall very quickly, and hard. After just a few dates, I’d decided this was the person I was going to marry. We were incredibly emotionally intimate, and she even flew five hours to see me for a few days when I took myself off on some solo travels, just three weeks into knowing each other.
Sadly, however, the travelling I was determined to prioritise, became our downfall: after just a few months, communication broke down and problems had arisen that were hard to resolve long-distance (especially after such a short time dating). When I eventually returned home, we picked things up again, but it didn’t feel the same. We broke things off more than once, but still couldn’t resist spending time together. The passion never died, either. In fact, it started to feel forbidden now we were broken up — and that was hot.
One night, after we’d decided once and for all we were just going to be friends, she ended up crashing at mine (I know, I know). Initially, I was determined not to let anything physical happen: we’d made a decision to stop dating, and I wanted to stick to my boundaries. Lying in bed together though, she looked across to my side of the bed, and asked me about a book sitting on my nightstand.
“It’s pretty spicy,” I told her.
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“Read me some,” she replied.
Romantasy readers will be familiar with the book Quicksilver by Callie Hart. It has a high ‘chilli pepper’ rating (the scale to which spicy books are rated on BookTok, IYKYK), and the words ‘choke me’ appear on the page a lot.
There was something about reading the words out loud that shifted the energy between us, tension brewing. At first, I felt embarrassed, skipping over certain words. But as I could feel myself getting turned on and sensed her interest piquing, my confidence grew. The scene I read saw the two main characters, Saeris and Kingfisher, fuck in the morning shortly after waking. There’s plenty of dirty talk — done telepathically, this is romantasy after all — including mentions of biting (he has fangs) and owning one another.
After placing the book down, I turned to face Margot. “Turn off the light,” she said, before reaching over suddenly to gently kiss me. It felt electric: we knew we shouldn’t be doing this, but the book had clearly worked to arouse her as much as it had me. Things quickly went from 0 to 100: I was already wet when she trailed her fingers down my body and started stroking my clit over my underwear while kissing me hard.
As turned on as I was, something about reading the book caused me to want to switch things up. After getting into smutty romantasy, I feel more empowered and sexually confident than ever, which means I like to try new things and take charge. I rolled Margot over and got on top of her, straddling her with my legs and peeling off her t-shirt. Starting slow, I peppered wet kisses all over her neck and chest, pausing at her nipples and, like Kingfisher, started biting and sucking hard. I asked her how everything felt, to which she responded, “Fucking amazing”, and said she wanted more.
Her moans served as further encouragement, as I reached down and moved her pants to one side, inserting two fingers inside her and gently rubbing my thumb over her clit. I continued my descent down to her vulva with my mouth, licking her gently — the way I knew she liked. As I paused to tease her, I whispered that she was mine (just as the main characters so often do in romantasy books) and that I wanted her to come for me.
Flipping her over so she was on top, I told her to sit on my face so I could taste her properly, and put my hands around her bum. She felt so good. I’d never been so turned on in my life, and watching her climax hard in my mouth was my own undoing. We giggled together afterwards, sharing quips about how a few pages from a book could get us both so riled up — and suddenly devoid of sensible decision-making capabilities.
After that night, we continued casually seeing each other for a few more weeks, but things eventually died out. Though I still think of her (and the sex!) often.
I haven’t had many sexual experiences since, but my romantasy books have seen plenty of action. For now, I wait in anticipation for the next time I’m dating someone I really like and feel safe with to try more things. Whoever they are, one thing’s for sure: I’ll be reaching for my beloved (and notoriously filthy) From Blood & Ash series next for ideas.
*Name has been changed
