At Cosmopolitan, we respect the sex scene. We watch them (looking at you, Heated Rivalry). We make lists of our favourites. We argue about which are hottest. We know what makes a scene scream and what makes us cringe (case in point, that phone sex in And Just Like That…). We understand that a good one isn’t just two attractive people hooking up; it’s a chance to learn something about our own desires and intimacy itself.
To be clear, we’re talking specifically about sex scenes in films and on TV shows, and, as the ultimate aficionados, we can tell you: they’re going through a... moment.
In 2023, research from the UCLA Center for Scholars and Storytellers prompted a flurry of internet conversation about young people’s sinking appetite for on-screen sex (sensational headlines also used the study to proclaim that Gen Z is ‘turned off by sex’ altogether, although the actual findings were much more nuanced, of course). Then, the following year, data from analyst Stephen Follows published in The Economist showed that the volume of sexual content in films has fallen nearly 40% since 2000, setting off a new round of think pieces.
Some pundits theorise the latter is because explicit content has largely moved from cinemas to streaming platforms. Others argue that increasing restrictions around pornography on both sides of the pond are indirectly impacting big-screen entertainment, too.
Whatever the reasons, the shift is palpable. And it’s not just about numbers or platforms but about types of sex scene. “We are not seeing bigger theatrical releases made for adults anymore,” says Jason Lynch, curator at the Paley Center for Media. Mostly gone are the days of Basic Instinct- or Fatal Attraction-type steam.
Instead, explains Lynch: “We’re seeing Sex Education and The Sex Lives of College Girls that are completely about sex but have a level of depth and tell a full story. There’s an appetite and openness to shows like these aimed at female audiences.”
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To which we say, yes, there’s a reason the Bridgerton series occupies not one but two spots on Netflix’s most popular shows of all time list. We know for a fact that viewers, young or otherwise, haven’t turned away from craving spicy entertainment. We know because you told us so.
In autumn last year, we conducted a survey asking people if, how, and when they like to watch sex scenes. More than 300 of you responded, with an overwhelming majority (92.5%) saying you’re very much in favour of on-screen sex.
Over half of you wish there was more sex in films and on TV, and 26% are so into the sex scenes that you rewind and rewatch your favourites.
Honestly, same. We’ll admit we recently drooled over Nicholas Galitzine and Anne Hathaway’s hotel sexcapade in The Idea of You, felt peak lust as Zendaya initiated a three-way kiss in Challengers, and shivered when Saltburn and Fair Play showed us women receiving oral sex. We’re looking forward to doing the same while watching Outlander: Blood of My Blood and season four of Bridgerton (coming 29 January). And also, eventually, the screen adaptations of increasingly sexy mainstream fiction novels like Emily Henry’s Funny Story and Rebecca Yarros’ Fourth Wing.
But, despite all of this enthusiasm, the question remains: if we are largely still yearning for on-screen sex and our favourite fictional characters are still getting laid, why are some people convinced that our culture is taking a cold shower?
It could be that we’re just collectively over tired tropes of the past. You know the kind: a gruff man, a reluctant (or downright unwilling) woman, gratuitous nudity over a pulsing soundtrack. (If you need an example, see all the sexual violence in Game of Thrones.) Today, to ‘really enjoy’ a sex scene, you told us that it must feature consent and intimacy. Lynch backs this up: “If you’re just relying on nudity and you don’t have a full story, people aren’t going to be interested.”
In other words, the sex scenes that people want are the ones that feel right for them. For example, 77% of respondents in our survey said that nudity isn’t a prerequisite, while 90% said that emotional sex scenes are key.
And so, we celebrate our love for sex scenes — where they’ve been and where they’re going, the ones we can’t forget and the ones that helped us grow, and the fact that they exist at all in a moment when sexual expressions of all kinds are under threat. Do we get a little sweaty thinking about them? Yes. And that’s entirely the point.
But what about ‘nomance’?
The vast majority of respondents in our Cosmopolitan UK survey love and appreciate sex on screen, but that’s not the only thing people are into. Sometimes a chaste, supportive hug communicates more than a passionate kiss ever could, and for fans of such platonic connection, there’s ‘nomance’.
The label made a splash after a 2023 UCLA study on young people’s viewing habits found that most teens would rather watch films or TV shows about platonic versus romantic relationships.
It was, and still is, a welcome reminder that friendships dominate some of our favourite entertainment. Hits such as Derry Girls, Ginny & Georgia, Yellowjackets, and Hacks have the occasional romantic or sexy plotline, but it’s their core platonic relationships that satisfy viewers the most.
Not only does this speak to asexual and aromantic viewers who might be less interested in horny storylines, it also feels true to life. After all, as Sex and the City taught us more than 20 years ago, love and sex may come and go, but friendships are often the most important relationships in our lives.
Nicole Pasulka is Cosmopolitan’s senior features editor. She's written about gender, activism, and criminal justice for New York magazine, Harper’s, Mother Jones, VICE, The Believer, and more. Her writing has been anthologized in the Best American series and featured on NPR’s All Things Considered. Her first book, How You Get Famous: Ten Years of Drag Madness in Brooklyn, about NYC’s drag scene, was published by Simon & Schuster in 2022 and hailed by the New York Times as “the story of America now.
