If you’re not really sure how to describe your booty call to your girlfriends, you’re not alone. The standard idea of who a booty call is doesn’t even exist anymore. Gone are the days when this was just the person you’d call between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. on a Saturday night for a hump session, because let’s be honest: situationships can be way more complicated than that now.
Maybe you and this person are having sleepovers three times a week, but you forget they exist when your mum asks if you’re dating anyone. Or maybe you’re sliding into each other’s DMs daily but you haven’t actually hit the ‘follow’ button yet. Yeah, the sex is so effing good… but feelings can be so effing confusing too. Sound familiar?
Then let’s cut the BS and give the full cast of characters you could be dealing with new and specific names, shall we? That way, you won’t get all the different types of booty calls you have confused again…
The 8 types of booty call relationships
1. The sex snack
You two have been hooking up again and again without developing ~feelings~. Maybe you’re not looking for a relationship, or perhaps you just want to explore some new kinks. Either way, you both know what’s up and keep things strictly between the sheets.
2. The free pass
Whether you’re blowing up their phone or vice versa, the only words you two exchange are ‘u up?’ This happens when one of you is (a) drunk, (b) lonely, or (c) both. There’s no need for romance…. Your bodies are doing the talking.
3. The benefriend
Sure, things get physical, but you’re probably going out to brunch the next day too. You trust this person enough to ask for their opinion on your dateablity (even when you’re naked) and know they won’t be bothered or jealous.
4. The sidebar
You hit each other up for self-esteem boosts whenever the people you actually like dip out. They’ll say you look amaze and how that match was an idiot to ghost you. You’ve never gone past a ‘thank you’ make-out tho.
5. The imaginary eff
Not only are you into heavy sexting and getting into deep convos over iMessage, but you also ask each other how your work presentations went. The problem? It’s all on your phones. IRL hangs are rare or, eep, have never happened.
6. The plus-one
Who doesn’t love that lifesaver who will suit up for everything from your office holiday party to your sorority sister’s wedding — no questions asked? People think you look great together, but you have no real spark off the dance floor.
7. The expiration date
You like each other and are ‘dating’ for all intents and purposes — except there’s a hard stop when you know you’ll need to cut things off. Maybe they’re about to move across the country or this is a fun summer fling before school starts.
8. The breadcrumber
They throw out ‘crumbs’ of attention — sporadic flirty texts, comments on your ’grams, super-vague plan suggestions — to keep your interest but never follow through on anything. This person gives you the absolute bare minimum.
How to master the art of a (no-strings sex) booty call
Okay, so now you know the type of booty call relationship you’re in — and, we know, there’s a lot — folks who are simply engaged in/looking for a good old-fashioned 2 a.m. hook-up dynamic, might still want to know how exactly to master this. So, we enlisted Match’s dating expert, Hayley Quinn, to help.
Before anything happens, Quinn recommends having a good old word with yourself. “Check in with yourself to see what emotional space you’re in,” she says. “If you are a commitment-free zone, focused on yourself, and here for a good time (not a long time) then booty calls can be fun.”
“Make sure you feel 100% safe with anyone who fills this role in your life; even booty call relationships need to be built on trust, respect, and consent,” Quinn continues. “If this is you, enjoy having sexual fun with someone you trust, but who you don’t expect to see in the long run. Choose someone who wants the same thing as you, communicate clearly that you’re just not in the headspace for anything more right now, and practice safe sex.”
And the key to a successful booty call? “Communication,” asserts Quinn. A classique! “If one partner wants more than the other, this can cause emotional distress for both parties, so make sure that you’re honest and upfront about how much you can offer a person. Also, listen to yourself. It’s easy when we feel a bit lonely to convince ourselves to settle for less than what we actually want.”
“Finally, make sure that even if a booty call is last-minute that you trust and respect the person you’re having sexual contact with. This is the way that you’ll preserve your self-esteem (and theirs) throughout your dating journey.”
So there you have it — now, go forth and bang!
