Whether you look forward to Christmas all year or you’re totally Team Bah Humbug, the holiday season is both merrier and brighter when you get to give (and receive!) the best gift of all: orgasms. And since you’ve been very, very good (or, you know, very bad 😈) this year, we put together a list of Christmas sex positions, to make sure you get exactly what you want under your tree this year.
But just as the magic of Christmas can make it the best time of year, we also know that it can be, uh, a lot. That’s why it’s so important to prioritise one-on-one time with your partner, says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer. “Affection could be the last thing on your list of things to do, so prioritising it (and your sex life) is essential for a lasting, loving relationship.” Put intimacy on the top on your list by sneaking away for some special Christmas dates and staying connected with plenty of smooching.
Another great way to infuse passion into the busiest season of the year? Quickies, which work whether you’re at a party or staying at a relative’s house. “Having a code word or phrase, such as, ‘Did you find that document?’ can be a code for you and a lover to go to a closet, bathroom, or bedroom and get your quickie in,” says Stewart. Sneaky and sexy. Love this for you!
And because Christmas is the season of giving, after all, “try putting something erotic in their stocking that foreshadows a sexual experience you want to share, like a sexy coupon that your partner can cash in later for a good time, or a sex toy you’re interested in exploring,” suggests Niki Davis-Fainbloom, a sexologist for Arya.FYI. “If you’re the gaming type, gift yourselves a sex game,” adds Stewart.
Whether you’re feeling extra-naughty or oh-so-nice, these Christmas sex positions can help you ~sleigh~ this holiday season. Now go forth and be merry.
Santa’s Helper
Stewart recommends ringing in the holiday season with a little bit of role play. Want to be Santa’s mistress? Wear something Christmasy and sexy, and let the games begin. “You can also use edible candy pasties underneath your Christmas outfit for an added bonus. It’ll come as a nice surprise as you challenge your lover to lick them off.” Complete the look with some edible underwear and await your ravishing.
The Lap of Love
Give your partner’s butt some holiday attention. The receiver sits in a chair and the giver lies on top of the receiver’s thigh with their hands on the ground. If they’re on the naughty list, a spanking might be in order. If they’re been nice, slide a lubey finger or anal toy in their ass for some butt play.
Tie One On
Use Christmas lights or tinsel to (carefully) tie each other up. “I love doing shibari bondage with Christmas lights and decorations so I can wrap and unwrap my own sexy presents,” says Miss Couple, an intimacy and relationship coach. If you’re not quite at shibari-levels of expertise, try DIY holiday-themed light bondage using gift ribbons as wrist bindings or a cardboard gift wrap tube as a spreader bar. Remember to always get consent when trying something new. You can read our full guide to BDSM here.
Warm and Bothered
Feel the warmth of the season by slipping into luxe warm bath, then slowly soaping each other up. When you absolutely must have each other (or are just getting too wrinkly), wrap up in robes then head to bed. Keep your robes on and just open them in front for cozy missionary. “Since our bodies are responsive to heat, consider using a warming lubricant,” says Jess O’Reilly, resident sexologist at Astroglide. And if you really want to get kinky, put some socks on. “Research suggests that women are more likely to have an orgasm if our feet are warm, so leave your boots, socks, or slippers on,” she says.
All Wrapped Up
If you’ve been living in yoga pants forever, it’s time to rediscover the glory that is lingerie. Present your fine-ass self in sexy lingerie that fits comfortably, sit on your partner’s lap facing them, and kiss your way down their neck while you grind against them. Tease them with your kisses before you let them unwrap you.
Santa Claus is Cuming
What better time of year to play dress up in bed than Christmas? Have your partner dress up as Santa (at least their top half) as you let them hear how good you’ve been this year. “Sit sideways on your partner’s lap with your arms around their neck to try the Santa’s lap position,” says Marsha Jackson, a sex counsellor who specialises in queer and gender fluid people. “As they penetrate you from underneath, use your sexy whisper to tell them what you really want to find under the tree for Christmas.” (If you’re really into it, spring for the extra Santa accessories. Santa rubbing you with his gloved hand? White beard and oral? Yes please!)
Shhh-ower Stuff
Wanna get it on but feel super awk doing it at your parents’ house? Two words: shower sex. Give your partner the gift of waterproof sex toys by putting together a gift basket full of ’em and putting them to good use. “Join your honey in the shower (perhaps to sneak away while staying with relatives) and allow the heat to build between your bodies,” says O’Reilly. “Kneel at their feet for a hot oral session or sit in one another’s laps for rear entry.”
The Big Present
Go big with a jumbo kit of couples sex toys. Take turns picking one or two things out a night and figuring out how to have your way with them. Wrist cuffs and internal stimulation? A vibrating stroker and a blindfold? Hmmmm... so many possibilities.
Candy Cane Dreams
Arousal gels and creams help focus your attention and increase sensations. Try an arousal cream with a little bit of menthol, cinnamon, or mint (seasonal!) — penises, nipples, and vulvas read the tingliness as arousal. (Some can be a bit much on tender bits, so start off with a wee amount and be ready to flee to the shower if it’s less sexy and more burny.) Get a selection and try them out by dabbing them on slowly for maximum build-up.
The Chimney Sweep
If your partner has a prostate, move beyond the basic finger-in-the-butt move to a toy that gives them deeper, more direct stimulation. For the best results, stimulate their penis until they are very aroused. Slowly slide a lubed-up prostate vibrator into their butt, pressing it on the upper wall until you find the nerve-rich prostate gland a couple of inches inside. People with penises report that orgasms with prostate stimulation can feel deeper and more intense. Merry Christmas
The Mmmelter
Gift them a set of candles that melt into warm, silky massage oil as they burn for some fun wax play. It’s sexy lighting that gently scents the room as you pour warm drops of the oil into the small of your partner’s back, between their toes, down their inner thighs. Rub as you go and watch them melt for you, then slip your hand under their hips for the best massage of all. (Use regular lube if anything’s going inside someone.)
The Shake It
Couples boudoir photography is becoming more and more of a thing, but if you don’t want your naked self in a photo studio, go with an instant film camera, so you can do whatever the hell you want with the naughty photos. Go soft-core sexy (like placing their hand on your boob), or super raunchy (like a POV shot of them about to go down on you), or turn the timer on and let it capture you ravishing each other.
The Steam Press
Make shower sex workable with something to hang onto to get yourselves where you need to be. Press yourself tightly into the corner while they hang on to the handles, propping their foot up on a shower foot rest to get in deep and close. Kind of like spooning while standing, but more intense. (If you accidentally leave the foot rest up, it’s good for shaving your legs too).
The Magic of the Season
Trust us when we say there is fun to be had with a wand vibrator. Most clit owners know the glory of the wand, but if your partner has a penis, let them in on its powers by having them stand at the edge of the bed, pressing the wand into the base of their shaft to create a Magical Vibrating Penis for you and some serious throbs for them.
Holidays on Ice
For a pretty broad hint that you’d like to go BDSMing, spring for a big ol’ box of toys. Test it out with one of you lying face down with your wrists bound via cuffs. Try a few flicks with the flogger and go from there. Pleasure/pain mixes work best, i.e. ice followed by your warm mouth, or a smart smack, then a gentle caress. Again, always get consent before trying something new, and make sure to establish a safe word, so you can both stop any act immediately.
The Wet and Wild
If you like things wet (no further questions), get yourself a lush throw that lets you get as messy as you want and ensures no one gets left with the sad, cold wet spot. Pick a blanket side (velvet microfibre or satiny), then lube the hell out of each other. Seriously, drench yourselves till you can barely hang onto each other. Lie on top of your partner, chest to chest, and slide back and forth, trying to keep them inside you while rubbing your clit on their pelvic bone.
A Noel Evening
Pamper your sapiosexual with a sexy private reading of your favourite erotica and, if you want to be extra, an accompanying set of props to help for acting out the story (or creating a new ending). You can gift them a set of sexy books (here are some recs) or there’s plenty of free erotic stories online (including on Cosmo!).
Lord of the Ring
For a gift that’s secretly for you too, give your favourite penis owner a luxe vibrating cock ring. It keeps them harder longer, for more explosive orgasms (and provides perfectly-placed clit vibrations for you). Try a more grinding than thrusting missionary, so you can angle yourself against them.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
