Thought you knew masturbation? Well, think again.
Let us intro you to syntribation: a discreet, hands-free way of getting yourself off that simply begins by crossing your legs.
You may well have stumbled upon this method without knowing what it’s called — or maybe you’ve seen it referred to online by other names like (the pretty self-explanatory) ‘thigh squeezing’.
If you’ve not heard of it before, you’re in for a fun ride. For those of us who don’t enjoy penetration, and even those of us who do, this can be a great technique to try — and if you don’t believe us, you just need to turn to TikTok for some real-life testimonials.
Over on the clock app, syntribation is occasionally referred to as the ‘crossing leg method’ in a handful of viral videos which ~enthusiastically~ explore the thigh squeezing sensation (as one creator puts it: “If you need a little pick-me-up: cross your legs!”).
But this isn’t the only online space where women and people with vulvas have extolled the virtues of syntribation. On Reddit, there’s a thriving, 19,000 member subreddit where users share advice and stories of their best orgasms ever using the technique. It’s also a popular Pornhub search term, with videos racking up hundreds of thousands of views by showing performers pleasuring themselves by crossing their legs and squeezing their thighs together.
So, whether you’re new to the technique or are already a syntribation fan, read on to find out what it is and how to level up your thigh squeezing game.
What is syntribation?
Ever been on a bus with tightly crossed legs and got a little bit ~too~ into it whenever the driver runs over a bump in the road? Yep, we’ve all been there.
This is because crossing your legs together and squeezing your thighs can be a great way of getting off — and it’s a revelation that plenty of women and people with vulvas stumble upon without consciously trying to masturbate.
“Syntribation is a method of self-pleasure where orgasm is produced by squeezing your thighs together and sometimes rubbing them together,” says Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, a psychologist and sex and intimacy coach.
As Bisbey explains, “most people discover syntribation by accident”, an observation which even the briefest scour of Reddit or TikTok comments confirms. r/syntribation is littered with comments from users who explain that they have been using this method since they were tweens, without even realising what it was — with many thinking they were “weird” or had a unique “secret” for being able to get off in this way.
However, while syntribation can feel kind of underground, it’s actually a wholly legit form of masturbation and is widely recognised by sex therapists and educators. In fact, in The Hite Report, the groundbreaking 1976 survey of American female sexuality, it’s listed as one of the six basic types of masturbation.
So, here’s your necessary reminder that getting pleasure by squeezing your thighs together is totally normal and seriously nothing to be ashamed of.
What does syntribation feel like?
If you’ve never tried syntribation, you’ll probably be wondering what it feels like. Luckily, the folks of Reddit are on hand to fill us in, here’s what they had to say:
1.“I can orgasm more times when syntribating, and it feels more intense, produces more fluid, while a normal clit stimulation [and] penetration while masturbating takes a loooong time before I could climax, and could only produce less fluid.” [via]
2.“My partner loves to lay behind me and play with my nipples while I get off on my blanket. He loves how my body moves. Sometimes I put a vibrator in and syntribate with it too, [it] feels amazing. We’re long distance so I do it on camer[a] with him all the time.” [via]
3.“Pretty self explanatory. I am sitting at the office and I was kinda bored, so [I] randomly started syntribating. [I] came 5 times in a row, thighs are a lil sore but damn [I] came so easily and now [I] am panting heavily.” [via]
4.“I syntribate by putting a blanket between my legs and laying on my side. [...] After penetration or other stuff, my partner lays on his side and we intertwine legs so his lower thigh is pressed between my legs. He holds me, talks to me, and kisses me while I hold him and grind on his thigh until I cum. I love it! I am having fun learning to expand and use a vibrator, but it’s just for fun, it’s not necessary to cum any other way imo.” [via]
How to do syntribation
Trust us, syntribation can be a great addition to your sex life.
Specifically, it can be a great option for folks who don’t enjoy direct clitoral contact or the intense feeling of sex toys. One of the reasons why syntribation is such a great form of solo play is that it offers opportunities to indirectly stimulate the internal area of the clitoris, which extends upwards into your pelvis.
So, fancy some tips on how to finesse your syntribation skills? Of course you do!
According to Leanne Yau, a polyamory advocate and certified sex and relationships educator, the basic set-up is simple. “You can try syntribation by crossing your legs and squeezing your thighs together,” they explain.
From there, you can clench the muscles in your core and thighs or rub your thighs against one another — be sure to experiment with different methods to see what works for you. Some individuals also like to add a blanket or pillow between their legs while syntribating, offering opportunities for dry humping and a variety of sensations.
However, if you’re used to touching yourself with your hands and a vibrator, you might find that jumping in directly with syntribation doesn’t yield the desired results. Instead, as Bisbey explains, you may want to integrate small moments of syntribation into your regular solo play routine.
“Start out by bringing yourself close to orgasm using your hands or a toy and then finish off by squeezing your thighs and tightening and relaxing vaginal muscles,” Bisbey says.
It’s *also* worth noting that there are a couple of variations of syntribation and you can experiment by switching positions, from lying down to sitting up, for different sensations.
And lastly, some folks don’t cross their legs and instead just squeeze their legs together – but it’s worth noting that folding one leg over the other condenses the muscles in the genital area, which can heighten the sensation.
Syntribation tips
Okay, now you know the basics, it’s time to switch things up and explore some more ~elevated~ variations on syntribation.
Firstly, it’s worth acknowledging the (thigh-clenching) elephant in the room: the hands-free nature of syntribation makes it pretty convenient for discreet, public masturbation. As you may well imagine, this facet of syntribation is pretty popular in porn and erotica — often featuring scenarios where workers climax at their desk or in a crowded space.
However, while the risk of getting caught might turn you off, you’ve got to exercise caution and remember a little thing called consent. “I don’t recommend masturbating in public spaces, people did not consent to seeing you masturbate,” Yau explains.
Best hands-free sex toys
Dame Eva Couples Vibrator
Lovehoney Mantric Remote Control Knicker Vibrator
On the other hand, Yau does recommend experimenting with switching up tensing patterns and trying out what feels good in your body. “You might want to tense your thigh muscles in different patterns, they don’t have to be tensing constantly the whole time. You can try different rhythms, similar to how vibrators have different modes to keep it exciting.”
For her part, Bisbey suggests adding variation by throwing sex toys into the mix, particularly those which don’t need to be held in place. “The best toys to use are ones that sit on the vulva hands-free,” says Bisbey. “You can use an internal toy as well, as long as it is easy to keep in place without hands.”
But, don’t worry, you can adapt plenty of vibrators to be hands-free even if they’re not billed that way to begin with. “Instead of using your hand to manipulate a vibrator place it between your legs, cross your legs and grind against it,” Yau recommends.
So there you have it — that’s just about everything you need to know about syntribation for people with vulvas. Now you’ve done the theory, it’s time to get started with the practical… it’s definitely the best bit!
Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Former Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance. They have covered sexuality and relationships for over five years and are the founder of the PULP zine, which publishes essays on culture and sex. In their spare time, they can be found exploring the London kink scene and planning dates on Feeld.
