Whether it’s your fifth Christmas at the in-laws’, you’re bringing bae to meet the parents for the first time, or just wanting to do some festive solo sexploration, keeping your sex life hot over the holidays can be tricky.
But if you’re still hoping for more than a kiss under the Mistletoe, we rounded up a few tips to navigate the festive sexual slaloms.
When the parents are in the next room
One of the main obstacles to having sex at your parents’ or in-laws’ is staying quiet enough that they won’t hear your squeaky old bed rocking through the walls. But this doesn’t need to be an obstacle. A great way to have amazing — but whisper quiet — sex is to go very slowly, advises Alice Child, sexologist at sexual wellness store SheSpot.
“Most people think great sex is all about speed, noise, and passion, but when we go very slowly we can feel more. Going slowly builds anticipation, awakens the nerve endings, and gives our body the time it needs to get fully turned on, warmed up, and ready for pleasure,” she says, recommending trying slow sensual massage, lots of lube, deep breathing, and oral sex.
Sexting away the hours
If you and your boo are spending the festivities away from each other, there’s no need for your sex life to be put on ice, no matter how snowy it gets outside. In fact, a little distance can make the heart grow fonder (and hornier). If you feel a bit lost for words, sending some pics can be just as hot.
“You can send pictures of your favourite lingerie or suggestive images of your toys on the bed to indicate what you’re planning on doing later — and who you’re thinking of while you do it,” says Cecile Gasnault, director and sexpert at sexual wellness brand Smile Makers.
In your childhood bedroom
Whether it’s the old soft toys or the childish decor, it’s no easy task to set the mood in your childhood bedroom. But, says Hope Flynn, head of content at sexual wellness brand iPlaySafe, now is the time to roleplay those teenage fantasies; “You can even refer back to the times you spent inside your room fantasising about your crushes.”
On the flip side, continues Flynn: “If the surroundings of your childhood memorabilia are giving you too much anxiety try having sex under the covers or even blindfolding yourself. This can instantly transport you to wherever you want to be and make the whole experience more relaxing and enjoyable for you.”
Having a solo sesh
Not all of us will cuff up this winter, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a holiday dry spell. If you’re planning on having a few solo sessions this holiday season, make sure your sex toys don’t give the game away.
“A top tip here is to use the quieter products,” says Gasnault. If you’re treating yourself to an early present for the occasion, opt for toys that are described as ‘whisper quiet’ — ensuring you can get yourself off without alerting Uncle Bert in the next room.
Lois Shearing is Cosmoplitan's Former Senior Sex and Relationship Writer. They have been writing about sex, sexuality, gender, politics, and relationships for almost ten years. Their writing on these topics has appeared in Mashable, The Independent, Metro, The Advocate, and Byline Times, among others. In 2021, they published their first book, Bi the Way with JKP. They are currently working on two other books, set to be published in 2024. In a previous life, they worked as a content marketer and content writer for various tech start-ups. They continue to be interested in the tech sector and its impact on our lives, relationships, and work, with particular regard to the ways AI will shape our relationships in the future. Outside of work, they are deeply passionate about queer community organising, and run the only support resource for bisexual survivors of sexual violence in the UK: the Bi Survivors Network. You can find them on Instagram and X.
