DISCLAIMER: When engaging in any sexual activity (or activities) that involve another person or other people, always get consent from that person or those people before commencing. If you are unsure about any of the terms mentioned in this article please refer to our safe guide to kink. Cosmopolitan UK has selected these events on the recommendation of UK attendees and party representatives. If you are concerned about your safety or need advice on sex and sexuality, speak with a sexual health professional or counsellor or contact Brook or thehotline.org for anonymous support.
If you’re looking to find a sex-positive community, one of the best places to look is your local sex party — a space which will be filled with like-minded folks looking to explore areas like BDSM, exhibitionism, and non-monogamy.
Although sex parties have become increasingly mainstream in recent years, with new events popping up all the time, let’s be real: the idea of going into a room filled with semi-nude strangers is... a little daunting, to say the least. That’s why it can pay to do your research in advance, so you know exactly what to expect, and there’s no saucy surprises.
Ready for some homework that will get your pulse-racing? We’ve rounded up a selection of the best sex parties out there for your perusal. Believe us, it pays to read the full list, as there is a huge variety of different parties.
Whatever your preference of event, be sure to read up on your desired party’s code of conduct and welfare guidelines before you go, and make sure to invite a sex-positive friend along with you for safety.
Swingers clubs, sex parties, and kink events in London and the UK
Killing Kittens
- Ticket price: Varies between £30-£100
- Best for: Newbies looking to explore the scene
Launched in 2005 by Emma Sayle, Killing Kittens (KK) is an exclusive sex party designed for, and fully focused on, female pleasure. Tagged as “the network for the sexual elite”, KK vets all potential participants through an application process (just an image and brief bio). And the best news? Women have all the control because men are not allowed to approach first.
Everyone's clicking on...
Plus, if you’re not quite ready to go to an IRL event (or you want more fun in between events), KK’s got you covered. With over 180,000 online members consisting of both men and women across London, Manchester, and Los Angeles, KK launched virtual house parties to satisfy its large following. These parties include Zoom calls with erotic dance performances and couples and single kittens watching each other play out their sexual desires. And for those who are seeking a little guidance with their sex lives, KK has virtual workshops and masterclasses, with sessions discussing dirty talk and anal massages.
“I’d noticed that sex was so unbalanced when it came to men and women,” says Emma. “How is it okay for men to do what they want sexually and have one night stands and be seen as studs — and if anything, when they behave like that, women fancy them even more — but for women, there’s slut shaming and guilt?”
“I wanted to create a space where women were in control and made the first move, but one that was also welcoming [for everyone]. What started as parties for 40 people became bigger and bigger. Since then, the world has changed and the scene has become bigger and crazier, but you have to be a female or non-binary to be a KK member, and women buy the tickets.”
Klub Verboten
- Ticket price: Varies between £25-£40
- Best for: Those who want to explore fetish play
Klub Verboten was born in 2016 to provide a safe space for self-expression and alternative forms of human interaction. Providing community safety that strays away from the often intimidating and non-consensual experience of everyday nightlife is at the core of Verboten’s ethos.
The club’s one rule? Don’t be a dick. Here you’ll find dance floors filled with partygoers in full fetish wear — and trust us, people take the dress code very seriously. You won’t be allowed into KV in your normal attire. It’s kink or nothing.
At Klub Verboten events, there are playrooms kitted out with sex furniture and dungeon apparatus like sex swings and spanking benches, and some rooms are off limits — AKA open to members only. Some people just go to dance and hang with like-minded people, others go to play, and some just like to watch, soaking up the atmosphere at one of the several London venues the party’s hosts use.
Joyride
- Ticket price: Around £20
- Best for: Those who want an unmissable rave as well as a sex party
Founded in 2023 by sex educator MJ Fox and DJ Lydia Fikan, Joyride is a queer, sex-positive, south London-based party that strives to be a non-intimidating entry into the world of kink. With a residency at Corsica Studios in Elephant and Castle (and now in Manchester, too), Joyride is a place for music lovers as well as kinksters, with line-ups platforming some of the UK and beyond’s most exciting (and predominantly queer and femme) DJs and artists.
Inside you’ll find two playrooms, each fully kitted out with furniture and sex machines. One room is even designed by Soho House’s Domhnall Nolan, whose collection, as MJ tells us, “marries the worlds of kink, aesthetics, and design — a rare feature of the dark room”. Joyride strives to be playful, cheeky, and horny, with a kinky dress code — though they also encourage colour and creativity, which partygoers “always deliver”.
“Joyride was born from a shared passion of ours to throw a party and build a community celebrating sexual expression, queerness, and rave culture,” adds MJ. “Our dance floor is a place of liberation and empowerment.”
More than just a party, Joyride also hosts ‘Joyride Socials’, a cultural and educational program of sex-positive gatherings.
One Night Parties
- Ticket price: Around £10-£30
- Best for: Cool femme-first sexual experimentation
Founded with a femininity-first ethos, One Night Parties provides a chic dungeon space to play in and allows only women and non-binary people to attend.
“We wanted to create a party where a woman could meet other like-minded women and explore their sexuality or forge friendships without feeling any pressure to engage in sex or look a certain way,” say the founders. “Somewhere that defied the play party ‘norm’, which is (often) heavy in dominant cis males and focused on ‘providing’ submissive women.”
“A space that welcomes women+ of all sexualities, sizes, ages, and backgrounds, where they could be their natural selves and express themselves freely without being harassed, pressured, fetishised, or lusted over by men.”
Based in London, One Night Parties has been hosting events in venues across the capital since 2019 — play parties, yes, but also socials and panels. As safety is a top priority, if you’re interested in attending, you have to fill in an application form — and be approved — before you can find out any information about these events. And remember to read the rules beforehand!
Pinky Promise
- Ticket price: Around £25
- Best for: A judgement-free hedonistic extravaganza
Inclusivity is at the heart of Pinky Promise, a London and Berlin-based party and community platform, which strives to be a welcoming and safe environment for everyone (as long as you’re an LGBTQIA+ ally, duh). The dress code is ‘dress to express’, prioritising whatever you’re most comfortable in, whether that’s kink gear or not, and there’s even some low income tickets available for those who have a lack of funds.
More than just a party, Pinky Promise also boasts a bunch of online classes, covering everything from orgasmic breathwork and period sex to non-monogamy, threesomes, and sexual health.
“Pinky Promise is a collective of sensual deviants who create live-action hedonistic extravaganzas with a heart,” say organisers. “Our parties and platform aims to empower people with the tools to be exploratory with their sexuality, stronger with their boundaries, and more nurturing with their connections.”
“We believe all of us deserve to have the freedom, space, and permission to discover and be the fullest expression of ourselves, beyond the limitations and prejudices of existing societal structures,” they continue. “By sharing our knowledge, skills, and perspectives, we open ourselves up to a richer experience of life, ourselves, and each other.”
Torture Garden
- Ticket price: Around £35 and upwards
- Best for: Experienced sex party revellers looking for mind-blowing performances
As the world’s largest monthly fetish club, London’s Torture Garden (TG) is very well-known. Intended for those who are “seeking an experience far beyond the norm”, this sex party is not for the faint-hearted. Started back in 1990 by Alan Pelling and David Wood as a response to the lack of “radical” and “edgy” alternative clubs, this extreme fantasy event is open to guests of all gender identities and sexual orientations.
With TG attracting up 2,500 people, attendees also experience theatrical performances and fashion shows, all while donning outfits that are only deemed acceptable if they would turn heads in the streets.
TG is the OG when it comes to sex clubs and fetish club nights and as such, the high-production value performances are out of this world. You’ll see contortionists, fire eaters, drag artists, and more dominate the stage while you dance and mingle, usually in a huge venue with several floors, bars, and play areas — including a BDSM dungeon.
Skirt Club
- Ticket price: Varies between events — £12 and up
- Best for: The bi-curious and the bisexual
Now, we can’t keep centring men’s pleasure in everything we see and do, which is exactly why Geneviève LeJeune founded member-only Skirt Club in 2014, which aims to be a safe space for all sexually curious women. Specifically aimed at bi-curious and bisexual women, Skirt Club’s purpose is for women to freely “express and exist as their true authentic selves, without judgement”.
Sexual discovery and empowerment are at the forefront of Skirt Club, which hosts weekly online events for members to ask questions, share experiences, and coach each other, offering solidarity, flirtation, and social events over raunchy hedonism.
Regardless, Club Etiquette must always be followed: no cameras or photography, and strictly no men peeping at screens from across the room. Oh, and while there isn’t a strict dress code, members are described as “effortlessly stylish”. Make of that what you will.
Not in London? Not a problem — Skirt Club hosts events all over the world, from our very own Manchester to Amsterdam and Berlin, and all the way to New York and even Melbourne. Maybe you should try ticking them all off your sex party bucket list...
Riot Party
- Ticket price: From £9.50 and upwards
- Best for: Those looking to make community connections
Founded in 2023, Riot Party is a POC and sex worker-led queer rave in Manchester and London. Alongside a fully staffed playroom, each iteration of the party involves a range of DJ sets across genres like dancehall, hip-hop, and house alongside events like kinky life drawing, polyamory talks, lap dancing workshops, and costume contests.
Each aspect of the events is crafted with intention and the parties often feature quiet areas and chill spaces for members of the community to connect, with full info regarding each venue’s accessibility status also published in advance. Previous nights have even featured a queer market with stalls for tarot, crochet accessories, and vegan food.
Community is at the centre of everything Riot does, with the party being created in response to a lack of diversity within the kink scene and each party prioritising marginalised bodies and a lived experience of sex work. While anyone can go to these events, attendees must follow the party’s dress code, be mindful of the intentions of the space, and fill in a consent form in advance.
Xtasia
- Ticket price: From £10 (£30 membership required)
- Best for: Those looking to attend a whole variety of events on top of sex parties
Created in the 1980s, Xtasia is one of the UK’s longest-running sex parties and is a venue in its own right. Based in West Bromwich (in the West Midlands) and hosting sexy swingers and fetish fanciers weekly, Xtasia hosts anything from foam parties to female-only party nights to Cirque du Soleil-themed events. The club itself offers different sections for dancing and chilling, a jacuzzi, and a BDSM dungeon for those who love the crack of a whip!
The front of the venue is a fairly un-intimidating pub where you can meet other people with similar interests during the day, or pop into the cinema for an erotic movie viewing.
7Sins
- Ticket price: Membership only
- Best for: Those looking for a luxe event
7Sins is female-owned and operated and open to everyone. The tickets are easy to purchase for those on the mailing list (if a little spenny), and the theme and venue changes from month to month.
Expect industrial vibes and a dungeon master with a house music DJ at one event, and black tie and champagne with sensual shibari performances at another. These events are all London-based, so city-dwellers get yourselves ready for a wild night out.
The Private Club
- Ticket price: £55 and upwards
- Best for: Those looking to become regulars
Described as the UK’s best-kept secret (though not so much anymore!), The Private Club is a Birmingham-based event open to all. They host six-weekly sex parties where you can expect glory holes and swinging couples — but new members must undergo a three-month probationary period, with a minimum of four visits to their parties.
Temporary Cruising Zone
- Ticket price: £15 and upwards
- Best for: Those looking for trans and queer-focused nights to become regulars
Based in Birmingham and founded in 2019, Temporary Cruising Zone is an all-gender queer sex party that aims to provide queer people with “a space to express themselves and their desires”. Trans-run and members-only, it offers events prioritising “hot kinky queer sex” every other month.
This event is still pretty underground, but its reputation has been established via word of mouth. Trust us, it’s worth filling out the membership application form.
Emilie Lavinia is Cosmopolitan UK's Former Sex and Relationships Editor. An accredited Sex Educator and Sexologist, Emilie explores identity, equity and innovations in sex, love, wellness and identity with her writing, broadcasting, coaching and commercial work. Emilie has written for the likes of The Guardian, Stylist, Grazia, Woman & Home, Red and Women's Health. She has appeared in documentaries exploring sex and wellbeing by ITV, Channel 5 and the BBC. Emilie has represented the UK as a United Nations Delegate and is a passionate advocate for women's health, LGBTQ+ rights and sex education and public health policy. She is a representative for Young Women's Trust, United Nations Women and The Porn Conversation and works with a number of charities. She loves big books, Bell Hooks, her infrared sauna and her Pomeranian, Ivy Valentine. She lives in London and can give you a rating out of 10 for every sex toy ever invented. Sign up to Emilie's Substack newsletter The Cuff for spice and advice or follow her on LinkedIn, X, Instagram, or her website: emilielavinia.com
Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Former Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance. They have covered sexuality and relationships for over five years and are the founder of the PULP zine, which publishes essays on culture and sex. In their spare time, they can be found exploring the London kink scene and planning dates on Feeld.
