Regardless of your gender, sexual orientation, or relationship preference, there’s a sex toy out there for you. In fact, there are plenty of toys specifically designed for the queer community: whether it’s lesbian sex toys, strap-ons, or cock rings.
However, shopping for sex toys can be more than a little alienating for queer folks, with the wording on the packaging for vibrators or couples toys often featuring heteronormative language or making assumptions that all folks are cis or monogamous. There are also plenty of toys which use stereotypically ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ colours or shapes, which can be off-putting for gender diverse folks.
But don’t worry, there are plenty of inclusive and gender-affirming toys out there which focus on pleasure and performance rather than labels. And who better to recommend the best sex toys for queer people than our very own LGBTQ+ contributors?
Without further ado, here’s everything you need to know about shopping for sex toys as an LGBTQ+ person, and some of the best to shop now.
Types of LGBTQ+ sex toys
While there isn’t just one category of sex toys exclusively for queer people, there are a ton of sex toys that can be used and loved by queer singles and couples.
To help you on your shopping journey, we’ve picked out the types of sex toys that can easily be integrated into your solo or partnered sex (although you find what works for you!):
- Cock rings
- Suction sex toys
- Clit vibrators
- Rabbit vibrators
- Magic wand vibrators
- Prostate toys
- Strap-ons and vibrating strap-ons
- Gender-affirming sex toys
Other essentials include dental dams, condoms (yup, you can use these over sex toys to prevent the spread of STIs, and also help minimise the clean up), and lots and lots of water-based lube. You might even want to add in a sex pillow or some BDSM equipment, if you’re feeling fancy!
What to consider when buying LGBTQ+ sex toys
We totally get it: when shopping for anything new, the overwhelm is real. Not only do retailers like Lovehoney, Bondara, and Ann Summers have thousands of products between them, but finding toys that work for the particular kind of sex you like to have can take a while.
If you’re feeling snowed under by the options out there, here are a few tips to consider when shopping for your next buzzing, thrusting, or pulsing bestie.
1. It’s all about you!
We don’t need to tell you this, but sex is an extremely personal thing. So the main thing you should ponder when buying a sex toy is your number one: you. Whether you have partnered sex or not, it’s worth thinking about what types of touch you enjoy and how a sex toy will fit into your concept of pleasure.
“Choose toys that affirm your body and your identity, and that feel good in your hands, not just on your body,” advises Wildilisa Moronta, sex and relationships expert for LGBTQIA+ dating app Taimi.
“For folks who connect with femininity, that might mean glitter, curves, soft textures, or delicate designs. For folks who lean towards masculinity, that might mean sleek lines, bold shapes, matte finishes, or toy designs that feel grounded and powerful.”
Should you be someone who’s not into penetrative sex, try starting with something small and discreet, like a bullet vibrator, magic wand, clit vibrator, or suction sex toy — which can be used on any of your external erogenous zones. “Fun-shaped vibrators can help simultaneously cover and stimulate dysphoric areas of the body,” says Moronta.
But if penetration is kinda the whole point for you, dildos, prostate massagers, and G-spot sex toys are a good shout. “Toys like rabbit vibrators and vibrating butt plugs provide versatile stimulation,” Moronta explains.
Pals with penises might want to go for vibrating toys with silicone wings that “can encircle the shaft for targeted pleasure and added stimulation during oral”, Moronta adds.
2. Quality is key
Masturbation is all about self love, so why would you put anything near your sensitive spots that could cause some damage? To avoid any nasties reaching your body, there are a few factors to consider while browsing.
“Don’t compromise on quality and choose toys with body-safe materials and with shapes that are suitable for the use you have in mind,” Moronta says. Silicone and hard plastic are generally safe to use in your nether regions, although brands that specify silicone is body-safe or medical-grade are preferable, as not all silicone is made equal!
As well as material, “think about, grip, sensations, angles, and colour”, Moronta says. “If mobility or dexterity is a factor, opt for ergonomic handles or remote-controlled vibes.”
3. Queer-owned businesses
It goes without saying, but brands founded and owned by LGBTQ+ people for the queer community will likely have already considered all of the above when designing their products.
“When buying sex toys, look for companies that are queer-owned, trans-owned, disability-owned, or that intentionally feature LGBTQ+ collections,” Moronta says.
And, if you’re shopping with a partner — or partners — why not make a date of it? “Shopping for toys can be a fun date night as it gives you the opportunity to touch, feel, and ask questions,” she adds. “Trust me, sex shop workers are usually super helpful and they love talking about their products.”
Our contributors’ favourite LGBTQ+ sex toys
1. Juno Dawson, author and columnist
“Controversially I’m not hugely into sex toys. I know. This is going to sound phenomenally arrogant, but when I’ve wanted someone to put something penis-shaped inside of me, I’ve always found a willing volunteer with a penis!
“That said, lubricant, preferably Liquid Silk, is an absolute must for all sex. It just makes everything better.”
Pros
- Non-sticky
- A little goes a long way!
- Water-based, so compatible with most sex toys
Cons
- Unflavoured, so not the best choice for oral
2. Ruby Rare, sex educator and author of The Non-Monogamy Playbook
“I have tried a lot of toys over the years, and the Njoy Pure Wand is the most exciting and consistent insertable I have ever come across. After eyeing it up forever, I finally bought one in 2023 and have never looked back. Yes, this is an expensive toy — but if you’re into penetration, this is such a unique and exciting piece of kit.
“From the sheer weight of the steel, to the temperature play possibilities, to the range of motion you can explore (think more rocking up and down than in and out), she really is a beauty.
“It works for G- spot and prostate stimulation, and you might be able to use it as a double- ended toy with a partner — though this is not for the faint of heart; it truly is an acrobatic feat. However you choose to play with it, get ready for the absolute time of your life.”
Pros
- Use for any kind of penetration
- Curved to hit the spot
- Temperature play lovers: this one is for you
Cons
- A little pricey
3. Amy Spalding, founder of SLT Studios, cast member of BBC’s I Kissed A Girl S1
“My favourite sex toy has to be the strapless strap. Although she does take a couple of tries to get used to, the pay off is so worth it.
“Bye bye to the awkward putting on of the harness like you’re about to embark on a zip wire at GoApe. Bonus points if it vibrates.”
Pros
- Comes with its own leather storage case
- Clit stimulation for the wearer <3 we love
Cons
- Better get on with those kegels
4. Samuel Douek, founder of HOWL
“I’ve only recently begun to explore the world of toys — surprising, given the fact I am the founder of a lube brand and sex-positive rave.
“So it’s somewhat of a shock that I have become completely obsessed with the Fort Troff Pinch Zero metal cock ring. Historically, I’ve always been scared to squeeze my junk through an impossible hole. But the magnetic clip makes getting in easy as pie. Consider the obstacle surmounted!
“Once on, it helps you stay hard, last longer, and it’s also the perfect accessory for any look. A must when leaving the house, given its welcome attention in any setting; from the cruising woods to the wedding party toilet cubicle — and of course when cuddling up at home.
“Rest assured, I’ll be donning one at the upcoming HOWL Pride. Maybe as a keyring, maybe as a cock ring… the possibilities are endless.”
Pros
- Lock snaps into place
- Weighted for added sensations
Cons
- Can't use silicone lube because of the silicone layer :(
5. Beth Ashley, journalist and the author of Sluts: The truth about slutshaming and what we can do to fight it
“Right now my favourite sex toy is the Venus Glow Clitoral Stimulator. I love sex toys that aim at the clitoris rather than internal pleasure as I just don’t get on as well generally with that kind of sensation in sex.
“This one is powerful for such a little toy and its size makes it really adaptable too. It goes just as well on nipples and I can use it on myself or have partners take the wheel. And it’s just cute: the shell design is v camp.”
Pros
- Rechargeable
- Travel-friendly (it’s petite *and* it comes with a travel lock)
- Waterproof
- Super cute design
Cons
- A little on the loud side
6. Asifa Lahore, Britain’s first out Muslim drag queen
“To turn myself on, I just need my left hand. To turn someone else on, a fluffy blindfold, two pairs of handcuffs, and a feather is all I need.”
Pros
- Padded for extra comfort
- Adjustable
- Beginner-friendly
Cons
- There are sexier-looking cuffs out there
7. Sade Giliberti, TV presenter and actor
“I’m not huge on sex toys, and I feel the subject is very subjective. We don’t all work the same in the bedroom. However, I have tried a ‘love egg vibrator’ for masturbation and, as an introduction to sex toys, I thought it was great.”
Pros
- Great for solo *and* partnered play
- Rechargeable, so you’ll never be caught short
Cons
- Can be a little loud
“Then, if you’re into it and willing to go through the ‘trials and errors’ of finding the right one, I reckon look into a strap-on (or two or three) for coupled sex.”
Pros
- Adjustable to fit different body shapes
- Curved dildo for G or P-spot stimulation
- Space for a bullet vibrator — y’know, if you want to kick things up a notch
Cons
- Reviewers say it takes some adjusting to get the dildo to stay strapped on
8. Chardine Taylor-Stone, cultural producer, writer, and activist
“With masturbation, I am all about my hands. Preferably if I’m being watched. For coupled sex, strap-ons are a classic. I’m more of a receiver than a giver, but they allow everyone to be involved.”
Pros
- Rechargeable
- Waterproof
- Textured for extra stim
Cons
- You’ll need strong kegel muscles for this one!
9. Reed Amber, presenter, director, and YouTuber at Come Curious
“I’ve loved sex toys ever since I can remember. I would try and insert anything up inside me because I got off on sex toys. I even used to look on the back of magazines and get off on their sex toy adverts!
“At the moment, my favourite sex toy is what I’d call a couples sex toy and a solo sex toy, my Doxy wand. It just depends on what your body wants and enjoys, because everyone is shaped differently.”
Pros
- Super powerful
- Sleek design
- Mains-powered, so you’ll never run out of juice
Cons
- Being mains-powered means you can’t use it on-the-go
10. Quinn Rhodes, freelance journalist, sex writer, and author of the Genderbent newsletter
“Sex toys play a big role in both my solo and partnered sex. My anti-depressants mean I struggle to orgasm without my favourite wand vibrator, and I’ve loved strapping-on during partnered sex long before I realised what I was experiencing was gender euphoria.
“My vaginismus means I can’t have penis-in-vagina sex, but since starting testosterone I’ve realised how pleasurable and gender-affirming anal sex can be. When I’m bottoming, my favourite dildo is the Godemiche Ambit. Whether or not it hits my prostate — and there’s research to suggest trans men on testosterone do grow prostate tissue! — it feels so good.”
Pros
- Soooo pretty
- Curved for precise stimulation
Cons
- Only compatible with water-based lube
11. Prishita Maheshwari-Aplin, journalist, campaigner and author of Roses for Hedone: On Queer Hedonism and World-Making Through Pleasure
“Perhaps not the most exciting ‘toy’ on my roster, but certainly the one I use the most is, er, a mattress protector. It doesn’t take much to make me come — sometimes even just the right words in my ear. But, as a squirter, it gets me going to have the safety and security of a manageable clean-up, so that me and my partner(s) can get to the cuddling and aftercare that this kinkster needs.
“Sometimes being practical is sexy, and to get sexy you have to think practically! Whether you orgasm with bed-wetting force or like to play with other fluids, this waterproof topper will keep your precious sleep-inducing mattress dry and clean. Extra bonus: the Panda London Bamboo Mattress Protector is hypoallergenic and sustainable — better for you and for our planet!”
Pros
- Waterproof, so you can get as wet as you’d like
- Biodegradable
- Super soft
Cons
- A little spennier than other mattress protectors
Best LGBTQ+ sex toys and aids to shop in 2025
Pros
- Great for temperature play
- G-spot and P-spot end, or two of either — you choose
- Comes in a cute storage case
Cons
- Can take a bit of maneouvering to get someone on both ends
Pros
- Nice wide head, for different body types
- Eight suction modes to choose from <3
Cons
- On the pricier side
Pros
- Stops spread of STIs
- Don't have to hold a dam in place (boring!)
- This is a pack of 12, but it also comes in 4 or 50 packs (okay, huge shagger!)
Cons
- Only comes in this 'nude' colour or black
Pros
- Handle for easy grip
- Use on your nipples, clit, or perineum if you feel like it
Cons
- Spicey but pricey
Pros
- Rotating beads for an unreal experience
- Remote controlled — j'adore
Cons
- On the larger side, so probs not for beginners
Pros
- Super stretchy silicone
- Control with the LELO app
Cons
- 8 vibration settings
Pros
- Rainbows and, yup, sparkles (if you're into that)
- Comes with glitter and a storage pouch — rainbow capitalism really popped off with this one
- 16 vibration settings
Cons
- Not everyone's cup of tea (fair)
Pros
- 10 flickering tongue settings and 10 vibration settings, impressive
- Comes in cute rainbow packaging
- Fun shape
Cons
- It's a unicorn!! on your cooch!
Pros
- Remote-controlled for hands-free fun
- Flickers against your C-spot
Cons
- Kinda spenny
Pros
- Finally a toy for those not into vibrations
- Pack of 4 to switch up the sensations
Cons
- Disposable, not the best for the planet
Pros
- Super light material
- Transparent, for your viewing pleasure
- Comes with a few rings to make it the right size
Cons
- Totally appreciate this isn't everyone kinda vibe
Pros
- Inclusive jock harness
- Flexy dildo that can be used separately
- Works with dildos with 1 inch to 1.75 inch diameter
Cons
- Some say it doesn't hold up easily
Pros
- Can be used as a penis masturbator or ride-on toy
- Remote-controlled
Cons
- Charge only lasts 1 hour
Inmi Spin 'N' Grind Rotating and Vibrating Silicone Grinder
Pros
- Hands-free ride
- Internal G-spot stimulation and anal stimulation
Cons
- Rotating shaft might not be for everyone
Pros
- If dental dams are good enough for Chappell Roan, they're good enough for you
- Flavoured because... why not?
- Don't have to fuss around with cutting up a condom for oral sex
Cons
- Not everyone loves the sensation of dental dams, and unforch there aren't many options on the market
Pros
- Thrusting so it's like the real thing... but better?
- Dual stimulation is delish
Cons
- Not the most long-lasting toy
Pros
- Thin for extra feeling
- Come in their own little pouches, cute!
- Already covered in plenty of lube
Cons
- Only come in packs of 12, but you can subscribe if you can't get enough
Pros
- CBD lube increases sensations
- Not too watery, unlike other lubes
Cons
- On the pricier side for lube (but worth it, we think!)
Tips for LGBTQ+ people using sex toys
When it comes down to it, there are only a handful of ways to use sex toys: by yourself, with a partner — or in an orgy. Joking! Or are we…?
However you choose to play, start with familiarising your toy solo before introducing it to any lovers, partners, or situationships.
“Use a toy solo first to see how it feels and get familiar with it, before bringing it into partnered play,” says Wildilisa Moronta, sex and relationships expert at LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi.
Remember: lube is your friend, so apply plenty of water-based lube to your sex toy (silicone and oil-based lubes are not compatible with silicone sex toys) before getting going.
Start by exploring your external erogenous zones if that feels good for you — think nipples, behind your ear, over your hips, and inner thighs — before powering up over your genitals. Masturbation = play time, so this is the time to explore different ways of using the toy, and test out all of the speeds and settings.
When you and your buzzy bestie are well-acquainted, now is the time to get it booked and busy in the bedroom. If you choose to use sex toys with a partner, Moronta says: “Remember, toys are meant to enhance intimacy, not replace it or make anyone feel insecure.”
“Use them to add curiosity and connection, not pressure or performance. Go slow, communicate what feels good, and don’t be afraid to ask questions or laugh through the awkward parts. Foreplay is for play!”
Imagination is always welcome in the bedroom, too — don’t be afraid to stray from the ‘normal’ use of sex toys (AKA a made up concept). Cock rings can be used as finger vibrators, and suction vibrators can be used for nipple stimulation. As long as you’re being safe, consensual, communicative, and reciprocal (if that’s your thing…) all’s fair in love and sex!
Meet the expert
- Wildilisa Moronta is the resident sex and relationships expert at LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi.
Why trust Cosmo
Here are Cosmo, we’ve been writing about all things sex and relationships since our launch in the UK in 1972. But, thankfully, a lot has changed since then — including the broadening of our horizons beyond heteronormative ideas of love and sex.
Our team of sex writers knows this better than anyone — not only from speaking to you, our readers, about your experiences, but also our list of on-call sex and relationships therapists about the world of dating and intimacy.
Identifying at varying points on the sexuality and gender spectrums, we spend hours researching and testing the best sex toys on the market — so you can trust us when we say we’ve put in the legwork to find toys we think you’ll love.
Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Former Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance. They have covered sexuality and relationships for over five years and are the founder of the PULP zine, which publishes essays on culture and sex. In their spare time, they can be found exploring the London kink scene and planning dates on Feeld.
Honey is the Senior Sex and Relationships E-commerce Writer for Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health and Men’s Health. She covers shopping guides and reviews of the best sex toys; deals events — including Amazon Prime Day and Black Friday; and sex, dating, and LGBTQ+ trends.
Her journalism career started in 2020 when she started Sextras, a podcast and digital magazine about sex and relationships. Find Sextras on Spotify or Substack, where she writes and chats about everything from positive masculinity and how to practise sex magic, to why the latest kink or porn category is blowing up.
She has an MA in Magazine Journalism from City, University of London, and previously reported for HR magazine. Her features also appear in Glamour, Refinery29, The Independent, and more.
When she's not asking everyone she meets invasive questions about their sex and dating lives, you'll find Honey singing around her flat, teaching herself a new craft, or working her way through a new '90s/'00s box set with her flatmate.
