Anal fingering can be pretty great for men or people with penises, in no small part thanks to the added bonus of a prostate massage. However, while women and people with vaginas don’t happen to have a prostate gland (AKA a P-spot), ass fingering can still feel amazing thanks to all of the sensitive nerves in the area.
But the positives don’t stop there. Surprise! You can also use anal fingering to stimulate your supposed G-spot from the inside, too. Then there’s the fact that it’s a good for a spot of foreplay if you are wanting to prepare for anal sex.
If you haven’t yet given it a try, you may be wondering what anal fingering feels like for women and people with vulvas. Well, we’re ready to give you some answers!
We’ve rounded up a range of stories from women about what anal fingering feels like during sex. But before you start cracking on at home, make sure you use lots of water-based lube because the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like most vulvas do.
What exactly is anal fingering?
As we really hope you are aware, there has been a bit of a fingering resurgence, with Lovehoney declaring a ‘Fingerenaissance’ in 2024. But who said vaginal fingering was the only type of fingering to get our engines running?
Yep, there is another type of fingering to be explored: anal fingering. In short, this variety of fingering is when you or a partner puts fingers in your anus. And while it can be a lot of fun on its own, it’s also a v great way to prepare for anal sex.
“It’s not just about penetration — the outside of the anus is also very pleasurable to touch, and is a big erogenous zone,” explains Alice Child, sexologist at SheSpot.
“It’s a form of anal masturbation that some enjoy by itself or alongside other stimulation such as penile or clitoral play,” adds Ness Cooper, clinical sexologist and expert at Lovehoney.
How to do anal fingering
Here’s a golden rule for anything anal related: you’re going to need a lot of lube. Before you get started, lube up your butt as well as your/your partner’s fingers. “The anus (unlike the vagina) is not self-lubricating, so use lots and lots of lube whenever doing any anal pleasure,” says Child.
Try stimulating around the anus first, moving your fingers in circles around the hole. Then, slowly, insert a finger into the anus. “This is a new sensation that will take your body time (sometimes months!) to get used to. Start externally, with no penetration, and slowly work your way up to gentle penetration if it feels good to do so,” advises Child.
Best lubes for anal sex
Lovehoney Discover Water-Based Anal Lube
Ann Summers Relaxing Anal Lube
Bondara Water-Based Anal Lubricant
To begin with, only do in as far as the first knuckle, and hold this for a few seconds to see how it feels. Then you can slowly remove it, re-lube up, and try inserting up to the second knuckle. If this is comfortable and feels good, you can keep experimenting with moving the finger in and out, using a similar motion of vaginal fingering.
Once your anus has relaxed, you can experiment with different types of movements. Some people like to stick to the classic in-and-out motions, while others enjoy an internal ‘come-hither’ motion.
Like all other areas of sex, communication is key. “Anal pleasure is not for everyone. Communication, consent, and exploring personal boundaries are crucial when engaging in any new sexual activity to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and consenting. Keep checking in with each other on how the touch is feeling,” says Child.
What does anal fingering feel like?
As we mentioned, while people with vulvas don’t have prostates, anal fingering can still feel really good. “The anus (both outside and inside the body) is an erogenous zone,” explains Child. “It is filled with nerve endings, making it very sensitive to sensations and stimulation. Both massage on the outside of the body around the anus and inside the rectum/anus itself can cause orgasms and powerfully pleasurable sensations unlike anywhere else on the human body.”
Cooper also notes that “anal fingering can indirectly stimulate the G-spot area when the finger curves forward and can be felt through the exterior vaginal wall”.
“Some people just enjoy the feeling of fingers stretching the anus as there are a lot of pleasurable nerves in this area. For some, anal fingering is part of their erotic orientation and may be part of their relationship’s sexual practice; this may result in enjoyment due to those bonds,” she says.
So, here’s 28 women on what they enjoy about the sensation.
What ass fingering feels like for women and people with vulvas
1. “I am now at the point where it’s almost disappointing if [my partner] doesn’t do something with my ass. I also enjoy when he circles it and then taps it with his finger. Luckily we are very open and he reads me very well so I don’t have to ask for it, but I am definitely not shy about vocalising what I need.” [via]
2. “I kinda like when he thrusts it in and out, but if he does two fingers that can be a bit much unless we’re moving on to anal.” [via]
3. “Love it when he’s eating me out...” [via]
4. “When I’m getting screwed doggy style I love it!” [via]
5. “When it’s good timing, it heightens the pleasure immensely. It tightens everything, I’ll feel every ridge and vein on his dick basically. It just makes the whole experience much more intense.” [via]
6. “I like it best when I’m on top and I definitely prefer to have my partner do it rather than myself.” [via]
7. “I prefer a butt plug or other anal toy, it feels much smoother.” [via]
8. “I like very slight strokes when in my ass. I think he makes a circling motion inside. Definitely not the same fingering as my vagina... that’s a bit too advanced for me as yet.” [via]
9. “There are tons of nerve endings there and even the smallest amount of pressure can be pure heaven!” [via]
10. “If he’s fucking me and I’m getting really into it, he’ll slowly circle my ass and stick a wet finger in. I see stars every time. With the right build up it can be amazing.” [via]
11.“It’s a huge ‘yes’ for me. My husband is an expert at fingering me, yet doesn’t play with my ass all that often. I think it’s mostly the position we find ourselves in, so when he can’t, I’ll often push my own finger in a bit. I’m also not shy about asking for what I want, so I think I’ll request more of this from him. While it feels great when I do it, it’s always amazing when it’s his finger instead.” [via]
12.“I started doing ass play on myself until I thought I could let him touch it. Then I had him insert one of my butt plugs in my ass. I did the same to him. I can trust him... and it makes all the difference in the world. I ask for it. I have to mentally be in the right place. Sometimes I’m up for it in doggy.” [via]
13.“Just leaving the [finger] in and applying pressure is much preferred to any movement in my opinion.” [via]
14.“I haven’t done enough receiving in anal play (aside from rim jobs) to really understand very much how it affects sensations for me, but was going at it recently and the partner asked if I minded before pushing in. I instantly said I didn’t mind because the idea was just freaking hot. Then he said, ‘I can feel myself fucking you through your ass, it’s amazing’ and it went from a ‘yes’ from me to a ‘hell yes’.” [via]
15.“I prefer it when he’s behind me (spoon, doggy etc.), and I like nudge fucking or gentle wiggling of the fingers inside, not in-and-out motions. I also love it when he takes my hand and forces me to do it to myself so that I can massage his cock from the inside and he gets a great visual. To be honest, though, I prefer pressure on the outside. Finger rimming or a fist/few fingers (something that doesn’t penetrate too easily) putting pressure on and releasing it repeatedly.” [via]
16. “You get your finger(s) or dick all the way in, and instead of going in and out you just push. But going all the way in and out like you would normally is pretty sensitive. Once you get it all the way in, just grind hard. I came so hard from anal once, and I’ve had it many times... the only time I came was the way I described.” [via]
17. “Also a tongue or dildo feels amazing too.” [via]
18. “I love it. But I find it’s easiest to have a conversation beforehand as to whether they like it or not, that way just ‘slipping it in’ doesn’t result in a surprise [that you haven’t consented to].” [via]
19. “I definitely love it. Any anal play is fun and when you’re [being] double penetrated, both holes are tighter and you can feel more! My only pre-requisite is to make sure you start out gentle, and that you... use lube.” [via]
20. “I’ve been trying to warm up to this one lately. I want to want to like it because he thoroughly enjoys it, but it’s very new territory for me and very strange.” [via]
21. “It’s great because it’s pretty taboo. It’s pretty intoxicating IMO. And an incredible, impossible tease if it’s foreshadowing what’s next.” [via]
22. “I’m only at the tips of my boyfriends fingers currently — can’t take anymore than that yet — but it sure as fuck feels amazing while he’s hitting it from the back or going down on me from behind. Has me orgasming way quicker.” [via]
23. “I actually like it. My boyfriend does it all the time in doggy and it just adds a little something extra. Especially when he lightly tickles it before inserting, it’s like a little tease.” [via]
24. “The first time I tried anal fingering was the first time I squirted and pretty much any time I have squirted anal has been involved. It just feels good and mentally feels more dirty TBH.” [via]
25. “I absolutely love anal fingering. That mixed with touching my clit is the most intense sensation.” [via]
26. “My boyfriend slowly inserts a wet finger after I’m all warmed up, then he spanks me while that finger stays in. It’s incredibly nice. He usually just moves it around in a slow circle while he fingers me and during sex. Everyone’s different though; it took me a long time to get past the THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY BUTT feeling, but now I LOVE it.” [via]
27. “I discovered that I absolutely LOVE having my ass played with/licked, and now [my boyfriend will] regularly put a finger in my ass when he’s fucking me, which I love, and when I masturbate, I’ll add a finger there. Wow — it’s like the secret ingredient that I didn’t realise had been missing all this time! Intense, deep orgasms that really last.” [via]
28. “I love... when I’m sitting on my partner’s face and he just sticks one finger into my ass, it makes me cum in the following minute or so. There is something about the feeling that gets me off.” [via]
Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Former Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance. They have covered sexuality and relationships for over five years and are the founder of the PULP zine, which publishes essays on culture and sex. In their spare time, they can be found exploring the London kink scene and planning dates on Feeld.
Paisley is the former Sex and Relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK. She covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ. She definitely reveals too much about her personal life on the Internet.
Lois Shearing is Cosmoplitan's Former Senior Sex and Relationship Writer. They have been writing about sex, sexuality, gender, politics, and relationships for almost ten years. Their writing on these topics has appeared in Mashable, The Independent, Metro, The Advocate, and Byline Times, among others. In 2021, they published their first book, Bi the Way with JKP. They are currently working on two other books, set to be published in 2024. In a previous life, they worked as a content marketer and content writer for various tech start-ups. They continue to be interested in the tech sector and its impact on our lives, relationships, and work, with particular regard to the ways AI will shape our relationships in the future. Outside of work, they are deeply passionate about queer community organising, and run the only support resource for bisexual survivors of sexual violence in the UK: the Bi Survivors Network. You can find them on Instagram and X.
