30 signs he likes you, according to dating experts
Goodbye to overanalysing his texts at brunch
Hard truth time: even if you are no longer a high-schooler desperately trying to decode clues that your crush likes you back, the anxiety that comes with wondering whether the person you like feels the same way never really goes away. In the throes of a crush, we’re really all just 20- (or 30, or 40) something teenage girls.
But if there’s any upside to revisiting this adolescent angst as an adult, it’s that you now have a fully developed brain and all the coping and communication skills that come with it! Which means that instead of sitting around wondering, ‘Does he like me?’, you can actually, well, ask him.
That said, you don’t necessarily want to make a new flame feel like they’re under interrogation. “Instead of directly asking if they like you, ask open-ended questions about their thoughts and feelings,” says Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida, and the co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. “‘What do you think of our time together so far?’ or ‘How do you feel about where things are going?’ — these questions allow for honest conversation without putting too much pressure on them.”
But if you’d rather sus out the vibe before hitting send on a potentially risky text, the good news is there are some legit signs that can help you figure out if a guy likes you. “Signs that someone is into you include consistent and enthusiastic communication, where they make an effort to stay in touch and respond quickly,” sex therapist Denise Renye. “They will likely also display engaged body language, such as maintaining eye contact and leaning in during conversations. Additionally, they’ll show a genuine interest in your life, asking questions and remembering details about you.”
For the full breakdown of all these not-so-hidden signals and more, keep right on reading this list of 30 signs he likes you, according to experts.
He reciprocates your interest
One of the easiest ways to tell whether or not someone likes you is to pay attention to their intent, explains Bumble’s sex and relationship expert Shan Boodram. Calling when they say they will, not flaking on plans, and reciprocating the time and energy you put into the connection shows intent. “The ways in which they show effort may not exactly mirror yours, but be mindful in their behaviour,” Boodram says. “Sometimes it is the small, overlooked gestures that go a long way.”
He makes plans
If he likes you, he will make time to see you, trust. Not only that, but he will make specific plans to do so. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy (though if he wants to treat you to a nice dinner or an elaborate getaway, who are you to argue?), but a guy who’s really into you will make plans that don’t involve a late-night ‘U up?’ text.
He engages with your socials
If you can always count on him to comment on your fire selfies and hilarious reels, clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet, says this is a pretty good sign he’s feelin’ more than friendship.
He’s there for you when things are tough
Is he the first person you call when you get bad news, have a tough day, or get into a huge fight with your roommate? And is he responsive to that? Like, does he tell you to come over, make you a cup of tea, and wrap you in a blanket when you’re sad? Yeah, that dude likes you.
He looks you in the eye
It might seem simple, but marriage and family therapist Payal Patel says eye contact is vital to non-verbal communication. “When someone looks you directly in the eye when you’re talking to them, it shows they are present and listening to you,” she explains. “It also builds a form of intimacy between two people.”
He wants you there for the big stuff
Has he asked you to be his plus-one at a wedding recently? Invited you to his birthday party? Asked you to join him at work dinner? Girl, HE LIKES YOU!
He’s got a *healthy* bit of jealousy
We’re not talking about snooping, stonewalling, or other red flag behaviour here. But Starwood says a little jealousy if another guy flirts with you or tries to ~move in~ on you shows “he wants you all to himself”. Also, hi, if he communicates his feelings maturely, that’s another *chef's kiss* sign he’s worthy of your love.
He checks in during the day
Whether it’s a normal day or you have something big going on (like a test or presentation at work), Dr. Overstreet says if he consistently reaches out, it not only means he’s thinking about you now, but he’s taking note of your future mood/response to life events.
He tells his friends about you
If you happen to hear from a friend of a friend that the guy you’re crushing on brought you up in the guys’ group chat the other day, (and/or can’t shut up about you anywhere, all the time) chances are pretty good he’s crushing back.
He takes care of you
Bonus points if it’s without you asking. Boodram says “whether it’s medicine for a stuffy nose or a walk around the park to clear your head after a stressful day”, stepping up to care for you shows his feelings are deeper than surface level.
Making you laugh or smile is his MO
Cue the rom-com vibes. Love and relationship coach, Dr. Lurve says him clearly going out of his way to make you giggle is a classic ‘he likes you’ sign. If he’s not afraid to be silly for the sake of your smile, there’s probably more than friendship under his jokes.
He sticks up for you
It’s easy to be sweet to someone during good times, but Dr. Lurve says if he supports you during hard times, it shows his interest in a deeper bond. “Something you want in your corner is a partner who will stick up for you no matter what,” she explains. “Whether you become part of a confrontational situation with him or someone says something to him about you when you’re not around, if he stands up for you, it shows his loyalty to you and your connection.”
He takes care of himself
Putting an effort into grooming himself points to a desire to impress you. This could be dressing up, styling his hair, wearing cologne, etc. That doesn’t mean he’s got to wear a tux every time you’re together, but if he clearly spent some time primping before casual hangs, he’s probably feeling something more than friendship
He asks thoughtful questions
If he asks questions that skip past the usual small talk and help you engage on a deeper level, Tang says that shows he’s not only a good listener but also actually curious about you. Instead of the typical ‘How was your day?’ or ‘What do you do for a living?’, he might ask what you’re passionate about or where your dream vacation spot is.
He’s vulnerable around you
Literally every expert agrees, if he’s vulnerable around you, it means he feels comfortable in your bond. Pay attention if he’s willing to talk about personal issues or openly shares his emotions (even the difficult ones) with you, as it’s a sign he trusts you and your relationship.
He hangs out with your friends
When you date someone, you’re also kind of dating their friends. Starwood says if he’s willing to go to parties, dinners, and/or nights out with you and your pals, it’s probably a sign he’s more invested than a casual hook-up.
He’s down to talk astrology (or any other ‘basic’ things you’re into)
According to an ancient saying (and by ‘ancient saying’ I, of course, mean a tweet I saw recently), all straight men must, at some point, choose between making fun of astrology and getting laid. This also goes for any other ‘basic’ hobby or interest that women are often unfairly mocked for enjoying. (See: reality TV, anything pumpkin flavoured, delicious cocktails, etc.)
Obviously any dude who makes fun of you for liking the (very normal and likeable) things you like is probably kind of a jerk you shouldn’t waste your time on anyway. But one who actively expresses interest in the kinds of things you know his worst, most guy’s-guy friends would mock him for is probably at least a little into you (and also a keeper, just sayin’).
He respects your boundaries
First of all, boundaries are crucial in any relationship. But if you’ve been clear about not kissing on the first date or not having sex and he completely honours that, it means he cares for you and respects you.
He sends goodnight and good morning texts
You don’t need us to tell you this, but if you’re getting goodnight and good morning texts, things are getting pretty serious — or at least heading that way fast. If you two are exchanging daily (and/or nightly) greetings, you’ve reached a new tier of communication, one in which texting isn’t just something you do for fun or to make plans, but because his day literally wouldn’t be complete without talking to you. Cute!
He mirrors your body language
Body language is, like, everything when it comes to dating. So if your guy imitates your gestures or speech patterns, then that’s a subconscious sign that he’s interested in you, says sexual health and wellness expert Tatyannah King. “He wants to gain mutual trust and create a connection.”
Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won’t stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
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