Fetish dating apps 2024 – 10 of the best BDSM kink and sex-positive dating apps
Open-minded and sex-positive? These apps are for you
Over the past decade or so, in no small part due to the sex positivity movement, it’s become way more common to be open about sex and sexuality. And, thankfully, tech and social media is right behind us, supporting us all the way. More mainstream apps might not have the dating pool you’re looking for but there are plenty of alternative digital spaces popping up, where you can find likeminded people, dates, and community, all easily downloadable to your phone. Regardless of whether your thing is polyamory, BDSM, kink, or fetish – there’s a dating app for that.
Relationship dynamics are changing right before our eyes. Driven by access to information via the internet and by the growing social empowerment of women, relationship conventions are evolving, and alternative, non-traditional relationships styles are emerging. As a result, dating is changing shape too. A recent YouGov study showed that as many as 23% of British people had given serious consideration to some form of non-monogamy, whether that’s swinging, an open relationship, or consensual polyamory.
Modern daters are often looking for something more than sex but less than a fully monogamous relationship. Or they’re looking for an emotional connection without the sex. Or they’re looking for something entirely different. Whatever it is, it’s something unique to them; and generally the shift in relationship dynamics is being led by women and LGBTQI+ people wanting more equality in the dating landscape. Unconventional relationship styles call for an unconventional dating app.
And did we mention all these apps are sex-positive, queer, and progressive too? Keep reading for our pick of the 17 best BDSM and kink-friendly apps.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – PURE
PURE is a dating app with a twist or two: first, it’s a female-led business. Second, it’s a female-led community. And third, the app is constantly working with psychologists and sex educators to provide essential tips for its community.
It works in online ad format, where people write what sort of experience they are looking for by adding their intentions. Even better, people are matched based on their turn-ons by choosing the perfect dating scenario (long-term, casual, virtual, open to anything). Unlike most dating apps, PURE allows you to select niche interests allowing you to attract like-minded people.
It’s also loaded with burn-after-reading safety measures: ‘self-destruct’ after 24 hours, and any images or videos shared within chats ‘burn’ once opened. In addition, it’s forbidden to screenshot and screen-record profiles, photos, and chats.
“As a female-led company, we know exactly what issues women are facing in dating, both online and offline,” CEO Olga Petrunia tells us. “Therefore, we try to make PURE as safe and friendly as possible, especially for women, by implementing security features in our product and in our communication with our community.”
“At the moment we are working on making PURE dates safer offline, making sure women will be able to share their location with friends and trusted contacts when going to meet someone from the app,” Petrunia continues. The feature is set to launch in the next couple of months.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – WeAreX
WeAreX is a social dating app, meaning it’s not just for seeking romance (including alternative dating and relationships that defy labels), but also for meeting new, like-minded people.
On the dating side, there’s the usual swiping and matchmaking tools, and individual profiles, but you can also sign up with a partner for double the fun. And there’s over 35 gender and sexuality identities to choose from for your profile, so you can express your authentic self.
For those looking for friendship or a community vibe, the app enables you to explore mixers and group chats in-app and join pre-party chat groups in anticipation for exciting IRL events. Tight for time? Use the ‘Meet Tonight’ feature to let people know you’re making moves within the next 24 hours.
As for safety and privacy, profile verification is managed by human moderators, letting your connections know that you are who you say you are, while anti-screenshot technology prevents content being captured and shared outside of your private and group chats.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – Feeld
Feeld is the most famous of all the kink apps (so much so that it’s practically mainstream now). It’s all about celebrating ethical non-monogamy, and alongside allowing you to explore polyamory in all of its forms, it’s also a sex positive app that creates a safe space for people to talk about their turn-ons and kinks.
Feeld is really inclusive to the queer community, giving you the choice of lots of different gender and sexuality options.
Feeld has a free-to-use basic level but if you love it there’s also the opportunity to invest in premium options from £12 per month.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – #open
Not just for BDSM and kink, #open was designed with the polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous community in mind. This is evidenced by its choice of profiles: solo, partnered, or double. The first two are pretty self-explanatory, but a double profile is one that enables you to switch between solo and partnered, with the ability to edit at any time. So you can swipe with or without your primary partner.
#open is really open (wink, wink) to people with fetishes, and you can list any kinks you have on your profile. And there’s the option to use a nickname if you want some anonymity – or you can link your social media accounts if you don’t. Plus, the app has a strict no-NSFW image policy, so there’s no risk of any nasty surprises in your DMs.
But the kicker with #open is – you guessed it – its hashtags. Users can answer prompts, with their chosen responses (there’s a specific set of phrases) being turned into hashtags that others can then search through – a great way to find like-minded people.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – FetLife
Fetlife is the OG kink social networking site. Users can discuss their fetishes, explore new ones, and get to know other kink enthusiasts. The thing is, with just over three million users, the whole kink community and then some has a Fetlife profile. This means you’ll likely come across a lot of people with very different tastes and lifestyles to you, so go in with an open mind.
But equally, know your boundaries before you step in. There are a lot of people on Fet and if you’re submissive leaning, beware of “doms” who steam in heavy and hot making demands. Fetish and kink is all about trust, communication and respect and no one should ever be pushing you right off the bat.
List your interests, your likes and dislikes, and explore the community. This app is great for finding kink friends in your area and finding events like munches – sex-positive meet ups – to go to locally.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – Obedience
Okay, for the uninitiated this might seem incredibly wild or painfully boring, but trust us when we say this really is some people’s jam. Obedience is a “BDSM habit tracker” which allows dominant and submissive partners to connect and keep track of rules, punishments, and rewards.
It’s made for established BDSM couples, with the goal of enhancing their BDSM dynamic outside of the app – so it’s only something you should try if you’ve discussed it with your partner and are both freely consenting.
You can add tasks, rewards, and punishments, and make them as wholesome or filthy as your hearts desire. A cute and kinky way to check in with each other, it’s less of a dating app and more of a sex-positive relationship building tool. It’s free to use, but you can buy a Pro subscription starting at £5.50 for a month.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – Fantasy Match
Fantasy Match is an app for ethical non-monogamy, and it’s a safe space to explore kink and fetish too, with over 500 kinks and fantasies available to search for in the app.
But it’s more than just dating – you can also find a resource library, complete with icebreakers and conversation topics, as well as features that allow you to learn about sexuality and sexual cultures around the world.
It’s free to use, but you can buy a membership – it’s not the cheapest on the market, though, starting at £4 per week.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – Fuck.com
Whether you’re after sexy chat, hook ups, or actual dates, Fuck.com (which, yes, is technically a website) is free and can put you in touch with other like-minded people. You can specify what you’re into – tattoos, doggy, and PVC are particularly popular – and where you live, and get matched with others who dig your sexual vibe.
The site also has a forum where users can talk about everything from the current dating scene and break-ups to sex tips, positions, and fantasies. Fuck.com also boasts the aptly named Fuck Magazine, where experts share tips on swinging, dick pics, pegging, and so much more. You can even find sex-positive events near you.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – Fetish.com
Fetish.com is an online community that puts you in touch with other fetishists and kinksters. If you’re curious about trying out something new, or you’re super into a specific fetish, you’ll find someone here who gets it.
Like Fuck.com, this site also has a forum for BDSM and kink chats, as well as info about BDSM archetypes, a comprehensive list of kinks and fetishes, and expert articles with kinky tips and advice.
Fetish.com also has its own BDSM personality test – are you a sub, a dom, a switch? – and a BDSM training school.
Fetish BDSM dating apps – Fet
New to the FET lifestyle or an experienced kinkster? No problem, FET is a safe place to learn and explore BDSM and fetish. Whatever your kink or fetish, the community aims to support and encourage users to share and learn from each other. In fact, the app describes itself as “kinky and unapologetically open”.
As well as being able to browse specific users’ profiles and DM them (and even share photos), FET offers a newsfeed, search function, and a 24/7 live chat, so there’s always someone to discuss your wildest fantasies with. There’s also the option to verify your profile for total peace of mind.
The app is free, but, if you love it, you can choose a premium membership from just £8.50 a month.
Emilie Lavinia is Cosmopolitan UK's Former Sex and Relationships Editor. An accredited Sex Educator and Sexologist, Emilie explores identity, equity and innovations in sex, love, wellness and identity with her writing, broadcasting, coaching and commercial work. Emilie has written for the likes of The Guardian, Stylist, Grazia, Woman & Home, Red and Women's Health. She has appeared in documentaries exploring sex and wellbeing by ITV, Channel 5 and the BBC. Emilie has represented the UK as a United Nations Delegate and is a passionate advocate for women's health, LGBTQ+ rights and sex education and public health policy. She is a representative for Young Women's Trust, United Nations Women and The Porn Conversation and works with a number of charities. She loves big books, Bell Hooks, her infrared sauna and her Pomeranian, Ivy Valentine. She lives in London and can give you a rating out of 10 for every sex toy ever invented. Sign up to Emilie's Substack newsletter The Cuff for spice and advice or follow her on LinkedIn, X, Instagram, or her website: emilielavinia.com
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