Ah, the age-old pick-up line debate. Are they cringe and outdated? Or are they a way to spark a connection with someone you’re interested in? Whichever camp you belong to, the majority are harmless and often funny — mainly because they’re so cringe. Other times, they can even be a little bit naughty (see our fave horny pick-up lines here — a personal favourite, as long as it’s consensual, will always be, ‘Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?’).

Jokes aside, the majority of the time, potential partners use them on dating apps as a way to break the ice. Case in point: when I met my BF on Tinder in 2018, I’m not embarrassed to say I initiated the conversation with a casual ,‘Whale hello there’, followed by a whale emoji. Fast forward over seven years, and we’re still going strong. Meaning, they *can* work.

However, not all pick-up lines are innocent in nature. Nor are they a sure-fire way to bag yourself a long-term relationship. Sometimes they can be a major turn-off, even going so far as to give red flag vibes. So, whether you’re chatting online or IRL, here are 148 bad pick-up lines to look out for — especially if you’re just getting to know one another.

  1. What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight
  2. Are you a fan? Because I want you to blow on me
  3. Are you a birthday cake? Because I want to blow on you
  4. I’m a big believer in signs. I just checked my phone battery, and it’s at 69% so how about it?
  5. Did you know I’m a mind reader? And yes I will sleep with you later
  6. You look like trash. Let me take you out
  7. Your bone structure gives my bone structure
  8. Are you looking for a STUD? Because I already have the STD, all I need is U
  9. Are you a cigarette? Because I’m trying to get you lit and put your butt in my mouth
  10. You’ve got something on your lips. Can I remove it with mine?
  11. You remind me of my little toe, I’ll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I’m drunk
  12. Are you on your period? Because you’re bloody beautiful
  13. Besides being beautiful, what else do you do for living?
  14. Do you like antiques? I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years
  15. You look like my first wife

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  16. Are you a pirate? Because you put the curvy in scurvy
  17. Are you a hit woman? Because if I pay, I was hoping maybe you could take me out
  18. Are you a musician vampire? Because my organ is filling up with blood
  19. You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
  20. The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name
  21. Your legs aren’t children. But I’d love to raise them
  22. I’ll put my basilisk in your Chamber of Secrets
  23. Sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up
  24. Call me Leonardo da Vinci because I’ll make you moan-Alyssa
  25. I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?
  26. Are you a diet? Because I’d like to have you on my eating plan
  27. Let’s play Titanic. You can lie on my wood, and I’ll be the one to go down
  28. Are you petrol? Because I want to pump you in the back of my car
  29. Are you a plumber? Because you’ve got my pipe leaking
  30. You look like a hard worker. I have an opening you can fill
  31. Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a foot-long
  32. I think my phone’s broken. It doesn’t have your number in it
  33. Can I take a photo of you? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas
  34. I’d take you to the cinema, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks
  35. If I make a spice joke, will you let me cumin you?

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  36. I couldn’t help noticing that you look a lot like my next girlfriend
  37. Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away
  38. You must be my Tinderella because I’m going to make that dress vanish at midnight
  39. You look great in that outfit, but I bet you’d look even better in your birthday suit
  40. If I buy you dinner, will you be dessert?
  41. Are you a pie? Because I’d like a piece of you
  42. If I were a judge, I’d sentence you to my bed
  43. You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you
  44. You’re so hot my zipper is falling for you
  45. I’m adding you to my to-do list. Can I check you off tonight?
  46. Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy
  47. Nice pants. Can I talk you out of them?
  48. Your eyes have no secrets. They’ve already told me you’re going home with me tonight
  49. Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
  50. I’ve been super on top of things lately. Wanna be one of them?
  51. I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours
  52. Is your car battery dead? Because I’d love to jump you right now
  53. You remind me of Disneyland because I want to ride you all day long
  54. What are you doing tonight besides me?
  55. There’s a sale at my house right now. Clothes are 100% off. Wanna come?

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  56. You have a great smile, but it would look even better if that’s all you were wearing
  57. Is your body a map? Because I love to travel
  58. I can see you in my future… on top of me
  59. Did you just put yourself on my to-do list?
  60. Are your jeans Guess? Because guess who wants to take them off?
  61. Unlike the TV, I like it when you have nothing on
  62. I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock
  63. Your body is 60% water… and I’m thirsty
  64. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  65. Do you know your ABCs? I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet
  66. Are you an elevator? Because I’d love to go up and down on you
  67. Do you like whales? Because we can go hump back at my place
  68. I have no interest in having kids, but can we practice anyway?
  69. Do I have to sign for your package?
  70. Are you a firework? I heard you might bang
  71. Let’s play carpenter so we can nail each other
  72. Do you like games? We should play strip poker
  73. Let me insert my plug into your socket, and we can generate some electricity later
  74. One night with me might change your life
  75. They call me coffee because I grind so fine
  76. I was always told to follow my dreams, so can I follow you home?

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  77. Were your parents bakers? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns
  78. Do you like volcanoes? Because I might erupt later
  79. Just like caffeine too late in the day, I’ll keep you up all night long
  80. I lost my keys… can I check your pants?
  81. I don’t care if you're vegan. I got the only meat you’ll ever need
  82. If I were you, I’d sleep with me
  83. Is your name Winter? Because you’ll be coming soon
  84. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it
  85. Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw
  86. I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down
  87. Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you
  88. Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging that ass
  89. I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight
  90. Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine
  91. Are you my new boss? Because you just gave me a raise
  92. I’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be
  93. If I’m a pain in your ass we can just add more lube
  94. I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
  95. Did you grow up on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock
  96. What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
  97. Wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one
  98. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under
  99. I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you
  100. Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later

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  101. There will only be seven planets left after I destroy Uranus
  102. Do you go to church often? Because you’re gonna be on your knees tonight
  103. Is your name Dora? Because I’ll let you explore
  104. I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long
  105. Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them
  106. Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight
  107. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch and mount back at my place
  108. If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
  109. Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I definitely should be
  110. My couch pulls out but I don’t
  111. Do you like cherries? If not, can I have yours?
  112. Are you butt dialling? Because I swear that ass is calling me
  113. Let’s play house. You can be the door and I’ll slam you all I want
  114. My magical watch says you’re not wearing any pants. Oh you are? It must be an hour fast
  115. Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in
  116. What time do you get off? Can I watch?
  117. You’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex
  118. Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please take them off
  119. Want to save water by showering together?

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  120. If I was your teacher I’d give you a D
  121. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilised?
  122. I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me the harder I get
  123. My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Wanna go back to my place and save me?
  124. I think my allergies are acting up. Because every time you’re around I swell up
  125. Is your name Winnie The Pooh? Because you’re giving me Hundred Acre Wood
  126. Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out
  127. Call me the fireman, because I find them hot and leave them wet
  128. Did you sit in sugar? Because sweet ass!
  129. Are those space pants? Cause that ass is outta this world
  130. You must be a booger, cause I would pick you first
  131. Do you like The Lion King? Because I wanna hakuna your tatas
  132. My cutlery drawer is full of knives and forks. I just need a little spoon
  133. Do you like water? Guess you already like 75% of me then
  134. My date stood me up, again, but you’ll do
  135. You turn my floppy disk into a hard drive
  136. Are you the bottom of my laptop? Because you’re hot, and I’m getting nervous
  137. That’s weird... I thought smoking was banned in here
  138. If you want to have sex with me, smile
Lettermark
Sophie Williams
Freelance Journalist and Copywriter

Sophie Williams is a Freelance Journalist and Copywriter, covering everything from Fashion to Entertainment to music, Lifestyle and Features. She has interviewed a range of musical artists and authors including Alyssa Edwards, Courtney Barnett, Confidence Man, The Vaccines, Loyle Carner, Gabrielle, and John Niven, and has written for publications like Metro, Reader's Digest, ITV's Woo! and Vice’s NBGA. She is also working on a book for HarperCollins about Taylor Swift, due to be published in 2024.