Valentine’s Day has rolled round once more and it feels like we’re now floating in a 24-hour sea of cheesy cards, chocolates, and red roses. Often seen as the make-or-break day for relationships, putting a whole lot of strain and stress on couples, Valentine’s can also feel pretty alienating if you’re single. All in all, it sucks that a day all about celebrating the beauty of love can make us feel kind of, well, rubbish.
So, it’s time to reclaim Valentine’s Day for the beautiful celebration it deserves to be — and this is where Galentine’s comes in, which celebrates platonic friendship and the joys of singledom.
This unofficial holiday, started in 2010 and celebrated the day before Valentine’s (but often spilling over into February 14), has a lot of great things to answer for. What makes it so beautiful is that it rejects society’s singular obsession with romantic love as the pinnacle of our emotional experience. Instead, it affirms that our friendships can be just as formative, enriching, and powerful as anything we have with a significant other.
The value of friendship
This practice of carving out time to recognise the importance of our platonic relationships is something we can do not just on Galentine’s or Valentine’s, but every single day of the year.
As Laura Vowels, a researcher and sex therapist at sex therapy app Blueheart, puts it: “Romantic relationships shouldn’t always be the pinnacle of your emotional and social life. We place increasing importance on our romantic relationships but it is impossible for one person to fulfil all of our needs for connection.”
In fact, when we put all of our focus into finding ‘the one’ we miss out on the love and joy that friends can bring. “Overlooking platonic relationships and focusing on your romantic and sexual connections can mean that you miss out on establishing a strong support system, sources of self-confidence, and crucial depth to your social life that friends bring,” says Vowels. In short, make time for your friends, no matter who you’re dating.
Everyone's clicking on...
Then there’s the fact that your friendships are likely to be more of a permanent fixture than whatever Hinge match you’re talking to at the moment, and that these platonic friendship bonds can add so much value and intimacy to your life. “Friendships can offer us unconditional love and emotional support when it comes to certain topics, including those you may not be comfortable discussing with a partner,” Vowels adds. “And many friendships outlast romantic relationships; friends have a long-term investment in each other which only deepens these bonds. It’s a connection that’s very hard to replicate.”
Why you should celebrate Galentine’s even if you have a partner
The love and support of our friends doesn’t fade out the second we get into a relationship, and it’s important to find ways to give back and show them that we value them. Galentine’s can be a great way to do this, and there’s no reason why being in a relationship should stop you from giving your friends a little bit of extra love this time of year.
“Many people take the time to celebrate their romantic and sexual relationships with their partners on Valentine’s Day, but it’s just as important to honour your friendships. Having a day to appreciate your network of close friends will strengthen your connections and bring perspective to the relationships you have and why you value them,” says Vowels.
“In Finland, where I’m originally from, Valentine’s Day is actually called a ‘friendship day’, and we explicitly celebrate our friendships and social connections that we have with our peers rather than focusing solely on romantic partners.”
How to romance your friends this Galentine’s Day
Sometimes it can help to bring some of the thoughtfulness, energy, and creativity that we reserve for our romantic relationships into making time for our friends and showing them just how important they are.
Below, Vowels shares some ideas on how you can do just that — feel free to steal any and thank us later!
1. Look back on your time together by watching a film that’s important to your friendship story, or revisit old photos of you together
“Take the time to organise an activity or event that will allow you and your friends to celebrate your shared history, whether that’s long or short. An activity that will help you reminisce — such as looking through old photos or watching a film from your early friendship — can be a great way to remind yourselves of your shared bond.”
2. Do something neither of you have ever done before, whether it’s a pottery class, a hike somewhere new, or a day trip somewhere
“You could focus on making new memories by doing something fun and silly together. Whatever the activity, the purpose is celebrating each other and reminding yourself why you’re grateful for their love, support, and friendship.”
3. If you don’t have time to make plans, be sure to send them a meaningful text or message
“If you don’t have a lot of time, just sending a text message telling your friends how important they are to you can go a long way.”
Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Former Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance. They have covered sexuality and relationships for over five years and are the founder of the PULP zine, which publishes essays on culture and sex. In their spare time, they can be found exploring the London kink scene and planning dates on Feeld.
