Missionary can get some hate for being boring or basic, but hey—it’s a classic for a reason. Mainly: It’s really, really simple and easy. One person gets to lie down and do basically nothing; the person on top does a little more work, but they get to lie down the whole time and can go as slow as they want, so is it *really* work?
Plus, it’s considered to be one of the more romantic positions, enabling skin-to-skin contact, eye-gazing, and plenty of smooching.
How to do missionary
The mish posish isn’t just for the lazy divas of the world. It’s also great for nervous newbies because it’s really simple to do. One person lies on their back while the other partner is on top, facing them. Easy, right? The person on top generally controls the power and depth of thrusting while the one below can move their hips and legs to change up the sensations. Aka the bottom has choices. Some days, you might want to lie back with vacation arms and enjoy the view, and other days, you might want to be more involved, kissing and touching your partner. No two missionaries are the same, people!
Variation on missionary
Missionary is a great base for lots of variation. One way to mix it up is to change the positioning of your legs. “You could shock a missionary or two if you did slight modifications of this position, such as the person on the bottom putting their legs over the arms of the person above, which opens up the vulvovaginal area a lot. Even more so if you put your legs over the shoulders,” says Carol Queen, staff sexologist at sex toy store Good Vibrations. “Missionary is not just about a calm, quiet position. It can get pretty rollicking.”
It can also be a great position for anal sex—in fact, it can even be a better position than the stereotypical doggy because it can help you relax those PC muscles. You can also incorporate vibrating strap-on dildos, couples vibrators, or a vibrating cock ring to get some clitoral stimulation in there too (or just up your chances of a simultaneous orgasm, if that’s your thing). Aka perfect lazy-but-incredible Sunday-morning sex.
Missionary sex toys
I'm a Sex and Relationships Editor for Cosmo's Snapchat Discover, which you should definitely subscribe to :).
Lois Shearing is Cosmoplitan's Former Senior Sex and Relationship Writer. They have been writing about sex, sexuality, gender, politics, and relationships for almost ten years. Their writing on these topics has appeared in Mashable, The Independent, Metro, The Advocate, and Byline Times, among others. In 2021, they published their first book, Bi the Way with JKP. They are currently working on two other books, set to be published in 2024. In a previous life, they worked as a content marketer and content writer for various tech start-ups. They continue to be interested in the tech sector and its impact on our lives, relationships, and work, with particular regard to the ways AI will shape our relationships in the future. Outside of work, they are deeply passionate about queer community organising, and run the only support resource for bisexual survivors of sexual violence in the UK: the Bi Survivors Network. You can find them on Instagram and X.
