A bit of history for you – knock knock jokes date all the way back to the 1900s and have roots in the United States of America. Back then, they were known as "Do You Know?" jokes, with an example being: "Do you know Arthur? Arthur who? Arthurmometer!" The rest was comedy history and here are our 123 favourite ones.
Best knock knock jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I am.
I am who?
You don’t know who you are? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon who?
Armageddon a little bored. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
I prefer peanuts. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you like knock knock jokes! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita use your bathroom. - Will you remember me in a minute?
Yes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You forgot me already! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke and find out. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe you like to hear another joke? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and open the door, it's freezing! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Charli XCX.
Charli XCX who?
Okay, boomer! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad we're telling jokes? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot is stuck in the door! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kenya.
Kenya who?
Kenya open the door? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh—
MOO! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wah.
Wah who?
It’s-a me, Mario! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dejav.
Dejav who?
Knock, knock. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone want to let me in? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cowsgo.
Cowsgo who?
No, cows go moo! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Stop crying. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wafer.
Wafer who?
Wafer me, I'm coming! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A week.
A week who?
Yeah, we're cool. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Gwen.
Gwen who?
Gwen will these jokes ever end? - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hammond.
Hammond who?
Hammond cheese is my go to sandwich. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn’t open, so I knocked. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I watch a horror movie! - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Frog.
Frog who?
Frog-et about it.
Knock knock jokes for adults
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To go see the idiot. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Joe.
Joe who?
Joe mamma. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tat.
Tat-who?
No thanks, tattoos aren’t for me. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I eep.
I eep who?
That's disgusting. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pecan.
Pecan who?
Pecan somebody your own size. - Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she’s got no arms. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie tap.
Annie tap who?
Better come in then, loos on the right. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I need up.
I need up who?
Can you hold it in? I'm in the middle of a joke. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con–
–OK, now you say, "Control freak who?" - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jamaican.
Jamaican who?
Jamaican me crazy. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hurley.
Hurley who?
Hurley bird catches the worm. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
May I come in?
May I come in who?
Not until we have a serious discussion about birth control. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Baby owl.
Baby owl who?
Baby owl see you later. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ima Reilly.
Ima Reilly who?
Ima Reilly excited to see you. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Do you want two CDs?
Do you want two CDs who?
Do you want to CDs later? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pasta.
Pasta, who?
Pasta drinks! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I eat mop.
I eat mop who?
Gross! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sonya.
Sonya who?
Sonya shoe, I can smell it from here. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita get out of here. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ike.
Ike who?
Ike can rock your world. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A yam.
A yam who?
A yam so over this conversation. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wire.
Wire who?
Wire you like this? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nun.
Nun who?
Nun of your business! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you sick of these jokes? - Knock knock.
Who's there?
Colin.
Colin who?
Colonisation! Joking, colonisers don't knock before coming in. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Closure.
Closure who?
Closure mouth! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken you lend me a few quid? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Batter.
Batter who?
Batter later than never. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions? Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Otto.
Otto who?
Otto know. I've got amnesia.
Funny knock knock jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Britney.
Britney who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
'Oops, I Did It Again'! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin, they hating. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Scott.
Scott who?
Scott nothing to do with you! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue heard this joke before? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Woo.
Woo who?
Sounds like a party in there! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Updog.
Updog who?
Does it smell like updog in here?
What's updog?
Not much, you? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
You hoo, big summer blow out! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A broken pencil.
A broken pencil who?
Nevermind, there's no point. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A boy.
A boy who?
A boy who can't reach the doorbell. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting cow that forgot to interrupt.
The interrupting cow that forgot to interrupt who?
Oh wait... Moo. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nada.
Nada who?
Nada another knock knock joke! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me.
It's me who.
Come on, it's not funny. Let me in! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yah.
Yah who?
No, I use Google. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alaska.
Alaska who?
Alaska ‘nother person if you don’t know the answer! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police.
The police who?
Seriously, it's the police. Open up! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
It's your delivery, that'll be £15.99 please. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
My key is lost, can you let me in? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Urine.
Urine who?
"You're insecure, don't know what for..." - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeycomb.
Honeycomb who?
Honeycomb your hair, it’s a mess! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrupting pir–
ARRRRRRRRRRRR! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dewey?
Dewey who?
Dewey have to keep telling silly jokes? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
It’s to whom.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mai.
Mai who?
Mai the force be with you. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Oh I love that show. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ida.
Ida-who?
Actually I think it’s pronounced Ida-ho. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shamp.
Shampoo.
Is my hair really that greasy? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Knock knock jokes for kids
- Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W-h-o. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Moustache.
Moustache who?
I moustache you a question. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell will you? I’ve been knocking forever! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bacon.
Bacon who?
Bacon some cookies in there? It smells delicious! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby birthday to you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jess.
Jess who?
Jess me and my shadow. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alien.
Alien who?
Hang on, how many aliens do you know? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Turnip.
Turnip who?
Turn-up the music will you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Carl.
Carl who?
Car’l get you there faster than a bike. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex-plain later, just open up! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
Actually, it’s kangaroo! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to the door and find out! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you’re doing and let me in! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yukon.
Yukon who?
Yukon tell me the next joke, I'm tired. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ho ho.
Ho ho who?
You know, your Santa impression could use a little work! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Double.
Double who?
W! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bless.
Bless who?
But I didn’t sneeze! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will you stop with these jokes please. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas to meet you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Toucan.
Toucan who?
Toucan play at this game! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ahhh.
Ahh who?
Is that a werewolf I hear? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Toby.
Toby who?
Toby or not Toby, that is the question. - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Newt.
Newt who?
Not much. What's newt with you? - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tish.
Tish who?
Yes, thanks. I just sneezed. - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Repeat.
Repeat who?
Okay... who, who, who! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne drops keep falling on my head. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for asking, it's me. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Beats.
Beats who?
Beats me, go answer the door! - Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mint.
Mint who?
Mint to tell ya I was coming by. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shelly.
Shelly-who?
Shelly-brate good times, c’mon! Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
No one.
No one who?
I just told you. No one.
Furvah Shah
Acting Entertainment Booker (Luxury & Women’s Lifestyle)
Furvah Shah is Acting Entertainment Booker for ELLE, Harper's Bazaar, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, Red and Prima. She secures interviews with your favourite celebrities and covers everything from TV and films to music and books. Furvah has previously written for The Independent, BBC, Refinery29 and Amaliah and she is super passionate about highlighting diverse talent and projects, having interviewed the likes of Jenna Ortega, Charithra Chandran, Ambika Mod and more. She graduated with a First in BA Media and Communications from Goldsmiths University and is an NCTJ-qualified journalist. In her free time, you can find her at an arts or culture event, eating Middle Eastern or Asian food, searching for modest fashion inspiration on Pinterest or cuddling with her cat. You can follow Furvah on X, Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn.
Jade Biggs
Freelance Writer
Jade Biggs (she/her) is one of Cosmopolitan UK's freelance writers, working across all sections including entertainment, beauty, body, and sex and relationships. She previously held the position of Features Writer, covering everything from breaking news and the latest royal gossip, to the health and fitness trends taking over your TikTok feed. Jade has a degree in journalism and has been a journalist and content editor for ten years, interviewing leading researchers, high-profile influencers, and industry experts in that time. She is a cat mom to four fur babies and is obsessed with Drag Race, bottomless brunches, and wearing clothes only suitable for Bratz dolls. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
