Even if you’ve been together for years, there’s always more to discover about your partner. Couples quizzes are a fun way to dig deeper and strengthen your bond, says Valerie Poppel, PhD, clinical sexologist and co-founder of The Swann Center. "Games are a fun and non-threatening activity that allow individuals to open up and share their authentic selves," she explains.
According to Kristie Overstreet, PhD, clinical sexologist and psychotherapist, many couples get stuck talking only about daily tasks. "Most people are so busy throughout the hustle of the day that they only talk about logistics and surface-level conversations," she says. Taking time for more meaningful questions builds stronger emotional connection.
As Avigail Lev, PsyD, founder of the Bay Area CBT Center, points out, "Over time, we tend to put our partner in a box and start seeing them in a simplified way." Quizzes can help you "rediscover [your partner’s] complexities and ongoing development," she says. And since people are always evolving, Overstreet adds, there’s always something new to learn - just keep the vibe playful and relaxed, not like an interview.
But first, how it works
We chatted with experts to come up with 55 of the best questions to ask your S.O. To play, each of you will answer the following Qs based on what you think your partner's answer is. You can write down all your answers at once or go one-by-one, taking turns revealing the answers to each other. Whatever you decide, Overstreet says you want to make sure you have plenty of time set aside to chat through the responses — being rushed or distracted isn't the move here.
If either of you gets a question wrong as you go along, simply take the time to talk about the answer and learn more about your partner. The goal isn't to get 100 percent, it's to walk away feeling even more in sync with your partner. So grab your person and get to playing, because the prize is in the bond you're about to build.
Basic questions for couples
It's a good idea to start the game off with some seemingly simple Qs, but Overstreet says that doesn't mean these are any less important to ask. Chances are your partner's favourite colour, book, or movie might have evolved since you last asked, so have fun getting to know where they're at right now, and remember — these will probably change again in the future. Besides, you should *always* know how your partner takes their coffee because hi, that's just Romance 101.
- What's your partner's favourite colour?
- How do they take their coffee?
- What's your partner's favourite book?
- What’s their favourite movie?
- Can your partner cook? What’s their signature dish?
- What's their favourite nickname to be called?
- What's their favourite dessert?
- Does your S.O. prefer FaceTime, Whatsapping, or calling?
- What’s their favourite social media platform?
- What’s your partner’s all-time favourite animal?
- What's the best place your partner has ever travelled to?
- What’s their go-to comfort food?
- What’s their favourite season of the year?
- What’s their zodiac sign?
- What’s their favourite ice cream flavour?
- What’s their dream vacation spot?
- What’s their favourite holiday?
- What time of day are they happiest - morning or night?
- What’s their least favourite food?
- What’s their favourite type of music?
Questions about the past and future
Once you know where you're both at today, the next step is to chat about where you've been and where you want to go. Overstreet says it's important to talk about the past and future to see how your viewpoints are evolving. "The way you thought about [life] when you first started dating may have changed," she explains, which is why these questions are super valuable. This can give you insight surrounding where they want their life to go and how past actions are still affecting them today.
- What's your partner's relationship like with their parents?
- Has your partner ever used dating apps? If so, what was it like for them?
- Did your partner have pets growing up?
- Where does your S.O. see themselves in five years? What about 10 years?
- What's your partner's ex situation? Are they still pals with past luvahs?
- Is your partner open to relocation (for your work or theirs)?
- Did your partner grow up religious? Do they want religion in their future?
- If you're not already, does your partner want to get married someday?
- How does your partner feel about talking about the past? The future?
- Does your S.O. want children? If so, how many?
- How does your partner feel about their middle and high school days?
- Where does your S.O. see themselves in five years? What about ten?
- Is your partner open to relocation (for your work or theirs)?
- If you’re not already, does your partner want to get married someday?
- Does your partner want children? If so, how many?
- What kind of home or lifestyle does your partner envision for the future?
- What’s a personal goal your partner hopes to accomplish soon?
- What are your partner’s biggest dreams for the next chapter of their life?
- How does your partner imagine your relationship evolving over time?
- What legacy or impact does your partner hope to leave behind?
Questions about values and lifestyle:
Having aligning values — and respecting the ones that don't align — is major when it comes to forging a connection that lasts. But sometimes talking about personal beliefs can feel high-stakes, which is why going into this game with an open mind is essential. If your partner has a differing viewpoint than you — or simply just clams up — as you're going along, Overstreet says to take a step back. "Don't force or manipulate them to answer a question," she says. "Respect their boundaries."
If something *is* brought up during the game that needs attention or causes a heated interaction, move on or pause. Then, pick a later time to chat when you're both calm and go into the convo with an open mind.
- Does your partner consider themselves introverted or extroverted?
- What are your partner's political beliefs?
- Does your partner budget their money? How?
- What does your partner love (and not love) about their job?
- Does your S.O. like to travel?
- How does your partner de-stress?
- What are your S.O's vices?
- How much does your partner value physical activity and healthy habits?
- What’s your partner’s love language?
- What's your partner's apology language?
- How do they feel about visiting their family? What about visiting your family?
- What does your partner consider a "good work-life balance"?
- How important is alone time to your partner?
- How does your partner like to spend their weekends?
- How does your partner feel about social media and screen time?
- How environmentally conscious is your partner?
- How spontaneous or routine-oriented are they?
- How does your partner define success?
- How does your partner approach conflict or tough conversations?
- What values does your partner hope to pass on to future kids or loved ones?
Outside the box/fun questions
After some heavier questions, a round of light-hearted ones is just what Overstreet orders. "Remember, [these] games are to be fun and enjoyed," she says. And even though these Qs seem kinda silly, they still offer plenty of good insight like how your partner seeks validation and what they value in a home and in themselves.
- What's your partner's go-to karaoke song?
- Which Hogwarts house would your partner be in and why?
- If your partner was an animal, what would they be?
- Would your partner ever want to be famous? What for?
- And what would they do if they suddenly had a vast fortune?
- If your S.O. had a superpower, what would it be? What would they *want* it to be?
- What's your partner's favourite bank holiday?
- If your S.O. could live anywhere in the world, where would they live?
- Who is your partner's hero?
- What's your partner's dream holiday destination?
- What's your partner's best ever Halloween costume?
- If your partner could time-travel, what era would they visit?
- If your S.O. could have dinner with three famous people, living or dead, who would they pick?
- If your partner had to be on a reality show, which one would it be?
- What fictional character is your partner most like?
- What’s the weirdest or funniest thing your partner has ever done?
- If your S.O. could instantly master one skill, what would it be?
- What’s your partner’s dream car (or mode of transport)?
- If your partner had a theme song that played when they entered a room, what would it be?
- What’s something completely random your partner is weirdly good at?
Questions about sex and intimacy
It wouldn't be a couple's quiz without some steamy Qs, but these expert-suggested questions go beyond pillow talk. "A healthy and connected relationship is one where sex and intimacy are discussed," says Overstreet. "As we change, grow, and evolve, the role of sex can also change."
Talking about your view on sex — as well as your current wants, needs, and desires — is an important way to "ensure that you both are evolving your emotional and physical intimacy within the relationship," Overstreet explains. Plus as an extra bonus, it makes for some v hot foreplay.
- How often would your partner like to have sex?
- And what exactly counts as sex to your partner?
- Is your partner into BDSM or kink?
- How does your partner feel about watching porn? If they're into it, what type do they prefer?
- What are your S.O.'s favourite places to be touched?
- Does your partner like using sex toys? If so, which is their favourite?
- How does your partner feel about PDA?
- What turns your partner off?
- What's your S.O. favourite sex position?
- Does your partner prefer taking a dominant or submissive role in bed (or do they like to switch it up)?
- What's your partner's most sensitive erogenous zone?
- How important is foreplay to your partner?
- What’s something that makes your partner feel instantly sexy?
- How does your partner feel about sexting or sending spicy photos?
- What’s your partner’s biggest turn-on (physical or emotional)?
- How open is your partner to trying new things in bed?
- What makes your partner feel emotionally connected during sex?
- What kind of aftercare or cuddling does your partner like post-sex?
- Does your partner have a sexual fantasy they’ve shared (or hinted at)?
- How does your partner define intimacy outside of sex?
