When it comes to reality shows, I've seen them all. No truly, check my Hayu and Netflix history. From the weird and wonderful (aka Naked Attraction) to iconic classics like Love Island, Real Housewives and Married at First Sight, to fun newcomers like The Trust and Squid Game: The Challenge. I can always find something intriguing, shocking or funny to bring me into a show, and even if I'm initially hesitant, I'll find myself three hours later in a deep binge-watching hole. But the one reality show I just can't get on board with? The Ultimatum - or to use its official title The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On.
If you hadn't gathered from the title the Netflix show, the reality series brings together a group of couples, with one partner in each having issued an ultimatum to their partner to get married or breakup, while the other is often hesitant to tie the knot. The couples then 'split', before they date the other participants and enter into a trial marriage with their chosen new partner.
This trial marriage is meant to test if they're ready for marriage and to see if their original partner is right for them. They move in together for three weeks, and at the end of the series, they have three choices. Do they stay with their original partner and commit to a future together? Do they recouple with someone new? Or do they leave the experiment single?
The series, from the creators of Love Is Blind and presented by Netflix favourites Nick and Vanessa Lachey, is now in its third season, having first premiered in 2022 and spawned various international versions including France and South Africa, and spin-off series The Ultimatum: Queer Love.
However, unlike its fellow Netflix dating shows, I've found The Ultimatum impossible to enjoy while watching. While other Netflix shows such as Love Is Blind and Too Hot To Handle bring together couples who have never met, The Ultimatum brings together couples who are already in genuine, often long-term relationships. This of course means the stakes are already higher, as there are real feelings, back stories and potentially messy pasts up for grabs. A dream for reality TV producers, perhaps, but as a viewer it just feels uncomfortable to watch, as these people grapple with their real relationships breaking down in real time before their eyes.
In the new series, which dropped last week, the first episode ends at a cast mixer with 25-year-old Aria in tears after seeing her "ex" (who was her partner up until the day before) Scotty flirting with potential new partner Zaina. It's heartbreaking, and no one comes off the winner in the situation.
The whole concept also makes zero sense to me. How does breaking up with your partner and actively dating someone else in front of them mere hours later, do anything to improve or move forward your original relationship? Instead, all you seem to see on the series is people in tears. And for a show that's grappling with a topic as big as life-long commitment, there appears to be no expert presence on-screen. It would be so much more interesting to watch these couples have an in-depth therapy session about their relationship troubles with qualified specialists, as oppose to watching them have awkward first dates with strangers.
And because there's so many real emotions in the show, it often feels very heavy to watch, with little to no meme-worthy moments to lighten the series. How can you call yourself a reality series if you don't produce moments the internet loves to dissect over and over?
Instead, much of the commentary from users online cite the messy nature of the series, with one person writing on X (formerly known as Twitter): "The Ultimatum is the most illogical show I’ve ever seen. How does issuing a marry me or leave, breaking up with your partner to do a 'trial marriage' with a stranger, then getting back with your ex, help you decide to whether to marry or not?"
While another wrote: "The Ultimatum is a show about the literal most unhealthy thing you can pose to a partner in a relationship. Like their relationships are already over."
And another said: "The Ultimatum has got to be the worst Netflix show ever why are you with someone if they don’t want to marry you?????? Take the hint!!!"
As for the success rate of the series? Well across three seasons so far, only one couple who got into a trial marriage ended up switching and getting together. In fairness, many couples who enter into the experiment together do seem to end up getting engaged eventually, but after weeks of strife, tension and uncomfortable conversations. Is your engagement really worth it if you had to go through all of that to get it?
It seems even the cast are aware the experiment often doesn't work, as this season has already seen two original couples opt to leave the experiment early and get back together, rather than go through the ups and downs of living with a stranger just to see if their relationship is worth it. Spoiler alert: if you've got to test it like that, it's probably not all it's cracked up to be.
As a viewer, I get no pleasure or enjoyment watching a real relationship burn down in real time. Give me a bunch of strangers talking through pod walls any day.
The Ultimatum season three is available on Netflix now
