As much as we all want to declare the days of self-doubt officially over and to be *that* girl, getting there can be a whole different story. Whether it’s body hang ups or imposter syndrome, we all have moments of insecurity – it’s just part of being human. However with the right tools and mindset, you too can harness your power and tap into your unique strengths.
It's something Netflix's new erotic thriller Obsession dives into, no holds barred. In the series, we see our unapologetic lead Anna Barton (played by Charlie Murphy) embark on an affair with her fiance's father, William (Richard Armitage). But as William becomes more obsessed with his forbidden desire, what will happen when this dark secret rocks everyone's worlds?
Inspired by Anna's unabashed ownership of her power, we’ve reached out to the experts to learn how to take it up a notch for yourself. Here are four ways to own your power in every aspect of your life.
1. Your identity
Without doubt, the basis for being your most confident self has to start with how you feel inside.
“When it comes to owning your own power, it helps to start with a position of inner security and trust,” says psychotherapist Eloise Skinner.
“Instead of looking outwards to claim responsibility in your relationships with others, you could start by looking inwards.
“You can do this through a variety of ways: exploring your personal values or identifying personal preferences (your likes, dislikes, passions and goals). Once you've done this foundational work, and when you feel like you're approaching a position of inner security, you can then start to bring this sense of power into your relationships with others.
“The most important element is a personal sense of self – this provides the foundation for your interactions with others, so it's important work.”
2. Your sexuality and dating life
As well as the juiciness of someone having an affair with their fiancé’s father, another thing that has us glued to Obsession is the way in which lead Anna (Charlie Murphy) is totally and completely in control of her sexuality.
It’s something that, as women, we’re often conditioned to be ashamed of, but knowing how to date and command intimacy on your terms is incredibly important.
“In order to date in an empowering way, you need to know your needs and not be willing to compromise on them in order to keep someone,” says life coach and author of The Selfish Romantic Michelle Elman.
“In dating, it's easy to want to be liked so much that we're willing to sacrifice or suppress our needs in order to keep someone around. Instead, you should go in with the mentality that a part of dating will be turning some people off and knowing that when the wrong people leave that is doing you a favour.
“When we are able to depersonalise the rejection and understand that when someone swipes no or ghosts you, it is not YOU that is the problem."
3. Your career
Whether you’re just starting out in your career, feel like you need a change, or want to smash it in the job you’re already in, owning your power is all about having goals.
“Staying small is something that can really hold you back, so I would encourage you to think big!” says life and career coach Natalie Trice.
“What would you do if you knew there was absolutely no way you could fail? When you think this way and really start to consider what you want from your career, then you can step into your power. If you can think it, you can start to create it.
“Write down exactly what it is you want from your work life and get a plan in place. Where do you want to be in five years might feel too big right now, so how about considering where you want to be by 31 December and looking at the steps you can take TODAY to get you there."
4. Your self-confidence
Self-confidence. Nice work if you can get it, right? Just like every other aspect of our life though, there’s no reason you can’t build up your self-esteem to a level where you’re ready to fully command your strengths.
“If you don't own your power, it’s likely you’ll spend your time hoping that external factors will create the life you feel you should be living,” says TedX speaker and human development expert Amanda Foo-Ryland.
“The most common barriers to self-belief is believing that we are the way we are. People think that how they are now is how they’ll always be, and making that change is hard.
"Don’t expect a magic pill or person to make this happen for you. The most important thing in personal growth is to move toward with what it is that you want and move away from what you don’t want. And then connect with the correct people to help you do this.
“In my experience, those that do always wish they did it earlier.”
Watch Obsession, a four-part erotic thriller, only on Netflix
