Leah Tyrer, a popular bride from this season’s Married At First Sight, has opened up for the first time about being diagnosed with autism and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) after filming, revealing that her partner in the series, Leigh, a trainee counsellor, even suggested she could be neurodivergent on their honeymoon.
A MAFS producer also shared similar sentiments ahead of Leah appearing on the show, following the psych assessment that all of the experiment’s participants must go through before appearing on camera.
Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition which sits on a spectrum and can impact communication, behaviour and perception, with some finding social interactions a challenge. ADHD is a disorder affecting focus, impulse control and energy, it can leave people struggling to concentrate, keep track of time and complete tasks.
“One producer called me two weeks before [going on the show] and said, ‘Are you aware you may be a bit neurodivergent?’,” Leah tells Cosmopolitan UK, sharing the comment didn’t come as a huge shock – she’d heard it before over the years from friends and family. “They put me in touch with a specialist and she was lovely, so I went into MAFS with this idea in my head, but I didn’t talk about it because I wasn’t [formally] diagnosed.
“But after the show, I thought maybe I should get tested. I went to a clinic on Rodney Street in Liverpool, did four-and-a-half hours of testing, and two weeks later they told me I’m autistic and have ADHD.”
Many studies have looked at the likelihood of being diagnosed with both ADHD and autism, sometimes called ‘AuDHD’, and according to one NHS report, comorbidity rates of “ADHD features in Autism Spectrum Disorder range from 16% to 70% depending on clinical or community samples; while the rates of autistic traits in ADHD range from 18% to 50%”.
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As for how this blend of diagnoses presents and feels for Leah, she describes it as having “mad energy, but then I'll be put in a situation where I’m like ‘Oh, this is a lot’ [...] It's crazy having both, because now I know about them [I better understand] situations where I'm like, ‘I want to create a new business tomorrow!’ and then I'm like, ‘No way, that's way too overwhelming. I can't do it’ the next day.”
Leah explains that in some ways, she feels being neurodivergent is a ‘superpower’ as her “brain works 1,000 miles an hour, so I can get so much done, and I can think of so many creative things, but then there's also that bit where I'll go ‘I've done it now, I'll go to the next thing’ and that's the ADHD. It switches.”
The entrepreneur and reality star, who is 36, says that from a very young age, her friends and family raised the possibility of her being autistic. “When I was younger, it wasn't a thing to go and get tested,” she reflects, recalling growing up in the nineties and early noughties when awareness wasn’t as strong. “Autism, ADHD… it wasn't really talked about.”
On average, it takes females six years longer than males to receive an autism diagnosis, possibly because women and girls are more adept at ‘masking’ (hiding autistic traits to appear ‘normal’), which means they can easily slip under the radar and go without the support they deserve.
But signs were there since childhood, Leah shares: “At home, I’d have everything in order, everything would be in a line, I'd know where everything was in my room, it was stuff like that. I used to do a lot of things over and over again.”
Throughout the years, many friends have also commented “you're so set in your ways, you don't like sudden change of plan, you say things off the cuff – which I do – which gets me into trouble a lot”.
Since being diagnosed, Leah says she’s come to realise there’s a lack of neurodivergent women in the public eye, which is what prompted her to speak out after careful consideration. “The word ‘autism’ gets thrown around so easily, and I don't like that. I'm not one for labels either, and I think that's why I was a bit like, ‘Do I want to talk about it? Do I want to have that label with me for the rest of my life?’”
Now, she’s hoping she can help others by talking about her own experiences and credits Married At First Sight as a turning point in her journey of self-discovery.
Filming the series presented some unique challenges; autistic people may struggle with busy social situations, which is a trait Leah says she relates to. “At the dinner parties, it was like 20,000 voices all shouting over each other, so I'd go in on myself a bit. I wasn't my normal self. I'm never in these situations in the outside world. It's very different.”
She adds, “There were [also] a lot of times where Leigh’s drilling me, going on and on and on at me, and I'm just sitting there smirking; I think it's me masking how I want to talk, but I'm trying to think to myself, ‘Right? What? What? What can I say? What can't I say?’ and I'm overthinking. There are times at the dinner parties where I'm trying to act like everything's fine, but really I'm overwhelmed.”
But, Leah strongly caveats, the show’s welfare team went above and beyond to support her, as did close friends Nelly and Bec, both fellow brides. Each morning, someone from welfare would knock on everyone’s doors to do a check-in. “[They] would take me, someone would take Leigh, and they'd be like, ‘Were you intimate last night? Did you use contraception?’ I mean, I never got intimate, did I? So I didn't ever have anything to say,” she laughs. “But then [they’d ask] ‘How's your mental health?’ They're very, very good at that.”
Leah adds that the crew would try their best to accommodate her needs when it came to the filming schedule, too. “Sudden changes of plan [is something] I'm not very good with, so sometimes it'd be like ‘We're on set tomorrow for 7am, be ready!’ and then ‘It's gonna be 6:30am’ or ‘It's gonna be 8am’ and that’s too sporadic for me. So they'd really work with me on things like that.”
Her relationship with Leigh was also a struggle – as MAFS viewers will already know. “On day four of the honeymoon [...] I was methodically packing my case and [Leigh] was like, ‘I think you're autistic’. I was like, ‘Why would you say that?’ and she's said, ‘You say things off the cuff’ – and that's why there was a bit of a sour taste in my mouth [throughout our relationship]. I just thought ‘Why would [Leigh] do certain things that are going to be really difficult for me, if she actually thought that about me?’”
A new happier, healthier relationship
While her marriage to Leigh ended with the series, Leah’s new partner sat by her side when she got her test results. Keeping her name quiet, Leah does share that she’s a footballer who she reconnected with on a night out while in the experiment – something which became a major bone of contention for Leigh, who accused Leah of flirting with the woman who is now her girlfriend.
When asked about the optics of this, Leah says she has known her partner for over a decade and it was only after filming wrapped that they became more than friends, when Leah was reunited with her phone (participants are given burner phones and only allowed to contact one another) and spotted a DM suggesting they meet for a drink.
“Mine and Leigh's relationship was a rollercoaster. When we first met, we didn't fancy each other at all, but I thought she seemed lovely, she's got similar values to me,” Leah explains, emphasising that she feels she made a solid effort with her partner throughout the experiment despite their initial lack of a spark. “I was still going to give it a go, whereas Leigh just couldn't get past that I wasn't masculine enough, I wasn't her actual normal type. I was trying a lot, and then it got to in-laws week, and I remember I was not myself, I wanted to leave [the show].”
This highly charged moment, where Leah admits she was feeling so down she needed a one-to-one with a member of the psych team, was not televised. “I said ‘I can't do it any more’, [it was the day we filmed with] my friend Paula. The whole edit wasn't there,” she says. “That day, Leigh was going in on me at the table, shouting at me about Bec [another wife Leah was accused of flirting with, which she denies], and my mate, Paula, stepped in and went, ‘Sorry, I'm going to stop this, because I can see Leah's not okay’.
“I'm not an emotional person at all, but I remember thinking ‘I'm gonna cry and I don’t want to be crying on camera’. I've never really had problems dating in the past, but I think when you know they don't fancy you and you're really trying, you lose your confidence.”
That experience of being paired with Leigh has changed how Leah operates moving forward in her new relationship, which she describes as the total opposite to her MAFS partnership. “Leigh challenged me every single day, which made me see things in different ways. Going into my next relationship, which now I'm so happy in, [I know] she's actually the perfect person for me. She lets me by myself. She actually wants to understand me. I was sitting with her when I got my results, she was like, ‘Come on, we all knew you were autistic’. I was like, ‘Really?’.”
Leah remembers one day that she and her girlfriend were at home and she was pulling down the blinds before bed – it was a simple moment, but it made her realise how much healthier and happier her new relationship is. “[My partner] said something like, ‘Why don’t you leave the blind up and leave the window open for the dog, to keep it cool’, but I was already halfway through rolling down the blind, and she could see it all going through my head, and me thinking ‘No, that wasn't in my plan. I need to put the blind down’ and she went, ‘Don't worry, I can see that's not in your plan. Just keep the blind down’. So, she gets me.
“I think if you do have a diagnosis, you need to be with someone who wants to understand it.”
While everyone around her was unsurprised to learn about her AudHD diagnosis, Leah admits it took some time to sink in initially, but now she’s glad to have this newfound knowledge about herself.
“I was shocked. You straight away think ‘am I not good with people skills?’. You don't realise there's such a huge spectrum of autism, and now I’m educating myself in it,” she says, looking content and very much as though her self-confidence has been restored.
“There's such a stigma around the word ‘autism’, that's why I was a bit [unsure] about going public. But it shouldn't be like that. It's nice, you know? It's nice that I've realised this about myself,” Leah reflects. “There's probably a lot of other women my age that realise there's something there, who may be [reading] this and who will think ‘Maybe I should get tested’. And if it can help anyone [I’ll be happy], it's made me feel a lot better about myself. It’s made me happy in myself, it’s made me realise that is who I am – that’s why I am the way I am.”
The final episode of ‘Married At First Sight’ airs on 14 November on E4
Jennifer Savin is Cosmopolitan UK's multiple award-winning Features Editor, who was crowned Digital Journalist of the Year for her work tackling the issues most important to young women. She regularly covers breaking news, cultural trends, health, the royals and more, using her esteemed connections to access the best experts along the way. She's grilled everyone from high-profile politicians to A-list celebrities, and has sensitively interviewed hundreds of people about their real life stories. In addition to this, Jennifer is widely known for her own undercover investigations and campaign work, which includes successfully petitioning the government for change around topics like abortion rights and image-based sexual abuse. Jennifer is also a published author, documentary consultant (helping to create BBC’s Deepfake Porn: Could You Be Next?) and a patron for Y.E.S. (a youth services charity). Alongside Cosmopolitan, Jennifer has written for The Times, Women’s Health, ELLE and numerous other publications, appeared on podcasts, and spoken on (and hosted) panels for the Women of the World Festival, the University of Manchester and more. In her spare time, Jennifer is a big fan of lipstick, leopard print and over-ordering at dinner. Follow Jennifer on Instagram, X or LinkedIn.
