Losing your virginity: sounds straightforward enough, I guess? But actually it can be a pretty nuanced topic, as proven by a recent viral TikTok video created by Dr Jennifer Lincoln (an Obstetrician-Gynecologist).
Often taking to social media to ask her followers some pretty important questions and to clear up sexual health-related myths, Dr Lincoln certainly started an important conversation when she asked 'Losing your virginity: what does that mean?'. She then encouraged her followers to share their answers in the comments below, and the responses were eye-opening.
Dr Lincoln, after taking a brief pause to mock-read a book, then returns to face the camera and says, "Well, there is no one answer for what losing your virginity is!" She then goes on to list different examples, such as "maybe it's having vaginal sex" and "[or] maybe to you it's anal sex".
She then makes the excellent point that if those are the criteria upon which losing your virginity is based (e.g. a penis has to be inserted somewhere in order for it to 'count'), then, err, that'd mean women who sleep with other women would be considered virgins their entire life. Which as I'm sure we can all agree, is very much not the case.
"But what about women who have sex with women?" says Dr Lincoln. "Do we just consider them virgins forever? I mean, I don't think they would agree."
She then continues on to add, "There's no one scientific definition of 'losing your virginity' and there is no such thing as a 'virginity test', your hymen doesn't matter. Virginity is a social construct... and not a really useful term, is it?"
Everyone's clicking on...
Over in the comments, almost 2000 people aired their thoughts on the subject, with one person saying "[losing your virginity] is the first time you consent 100%", another said "lmaooo there is no definition because it cannot be defined". One other view shared was "when your genitals touch other genitals".
The bottom line? Consensual sexual and intimate acts can all be classed as losing your virginity, if that's what feels right for you – and if anybody is pressuring you into having sex or partaking in any acts that you aren't comfortable with, you have every right to walk away from the situation (guilt-free).
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Jennifer Savin is Cosmopolitan UK's multiple award-winning Features Editor, who was crowned Digital Journalist of the Year for her work tackling the issues most important to young women. She regularly covers breaking news, cultural trends, health, the royals and more, using her esteemed connections to access the best experts along the way. She's grilled everyone from high-profile politicians to A-list celebrities, and has sensitively interviewed hundreds of people about their real life stories. In addition to this, Jennifer is widely known for her own undercover investigations and campaign work, which includes successfully petitioning the government for change around topics like abortion rights and image-based sexual abuse. Jennifer is also a published author, documentary consultant (helping to create BBC’s Deepfake Porn: Could You Be Next?) and a patron for Y.E.S. (a youth services charity). Alongside Cosmopolitan, Jennifer has written for The Times, Women’s Health, ELLE and numerous other publications, appeared on podcasts, and spoken on (and hosted) panels for the Women of the World Festival, the University of Manchester and more. In her spare time, Jennifer is a big fan of lipstick, leopard print and over-ordering at dinner. Follow Jennifer on Instagram, X or LinkedIn.
