5 Ways to Do the Apex Sex Position (And Make It Really, Really Good)
Consider this one a fun bonding challenge!
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If gravity-defying sex positions are your jam, meet the apex sex position—a lofty mash-up of doggy style and the wheelbarrow. Yes, it’s a hard one, but the toughest parts are what lead to the sexiest rewards, trust.
“This position requires engaging the core, thighs, and glutes, which can also heighten sensations and increase the potential for orgasm,” says licensed psychotherapist Rachel Wright, sex educator for the sex toy brandZumio. It requires strength and balance, she says, but pays off with super deep penetration.
To do it, you’ll need something sturdy for the receiving partner to lean on, like a chair, stool, or bed. The receiver holds their upper body up with their arms while the giver stands behind them and lifts them by the hips onto their penis or strap-on. The penetrating partner controls the speed and depth of the thrusts; the receiver is pretty much along for the ride. And although the gymnastics of it all can be fun, you still…have to be careful. Seriously! “This position only works when the stool or bench is secure and slip-proof. Choose something both partners feel confident using,” says Wright.
The apex is great for bonding over a shared adventure, but there’s not much direct clit stimulation (womp). So if you want to add other props, chose something that will give the clit some love like a vibrating cock ring or wearable couples vibrator. “And don’t skip the lube,” says Wright. “The deep angle and physical intensity can create friction. A high-quality silicone or long-lasting water-based lube will help keep things comfortable from start to finish.”
Now, prepare for take-off. Here’s how to do the apex position, plus four variations to make it work for you.
The Apex
How to Do It: “The apex involves the receiving partner standing in front of a sturdy stool, bench, or similar furniture, leaning forward with arms outstretched and palms on the seat for support,” says Wright. “The partner who’s penetrating stands behind them, lifting the receiving partner's pelvis to hip height. Then, the partner who is receiving wraps their legs around their partner's waist (behind them) while pressing their feet against their partner's glutes.”
Pros: The angle allows for deeper and more targeted penetration. Plus, adventure!
Cons: “Without proper support, the receiving partner may feel strain in the wrists, shoulders, or lower back, making it challenging to sustain for a longer sex session,” she says. If/when it switches from a challenge to “help!” the receiver can try lowering themselves onto their elbows. Or just step from the stool and try something else.
Switch It Up: The receiver can do Kegels or squeeze their anus to tighten the feel.
Make It Hotter: Since the penetrating partner is completely in control of the motion, experiment with the surrender and control, including commands, dirty talk, and/or some BDSM gear like blindfolds or nipple clamps.
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Half Apex
How to Do It: The receiver leans over the sturdy furniture item, and the penetrating partner stands behind and lifts their hips onto their penis or strap-on. But, try a switch to lessen the hoisting aspect. “Have the receiving partner rest one leg on the furniture. Doing this keeps the angle while easing the physical demand on both bodies,” says Wright.
Pros: You’ll still get all the deep penetration of the apex, but you’ll be able to enjoy the position more comfortably and for a longer time.
Cons: “Height differences can complicate alignment,” she says. “So, communication and experimentation are key. (As with any good sexual exploration.)”
Switch It Up: Try it with one leg, then the other, to experiment with different sensations and switch the load-bearing physics.
Make It Hotter: “Since everyone's hands may be busy with balance and support, a toy like the Zumio can be used during foreplay,” says Wright. If the giver can manage a reach around, give it a go during, too—the pinpoint precision can be beneficial in high-effort positions where the range of motion is limited.
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Accessible Apex
How to Do It: “For folks with limited mobility or strength, try a more grounded version using a firm chair, counter, or low bed frame,” says Wright. The receiving partner can rest elbows or their entire upper body on the surface. “The receiving partner can still be angled for penetration without needing to hold themselves up entirely, which reduces pressure on the arms and joints.”
Pros: All the deep penetration and targeted stim of the regular apex but so much easier.
Cons: “It requires coordination and strength, especially from the giving partner, who needs to lift and stabilize the pelvis,” she says. If the giver leans back, it will give them better leverage for an easier lift.
Switch It Up: This one allows the receiver to use their hands or a toy. Game changer.
Make It Hotter: Set up in front of a full-length mirror so you can watch yourselves in the throes.
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Reverse Apex
How to Do It: The receiver leans their upper body back onto the bed with their hips at the edge. The penetrating partner stands next to the bed and lifts their hips to guide them onto their penis or strap-on. The receiver wraps their legs around their partner’s butt.
Pros: Lots of eye contact, targeted stimulation of the upper wall of the vagina, and the receiver’s hands are free for hand or toy stim.
Cons: There is still lifting involved. If the giver has strength or mobility issues, they can lean over the bed and rest their weight on their hands.
Switch It Up: You can keep the same general angle with less lifting by propping a sex wedge or stack of firm pillows under the receiver’s hips.
Make It Hotter: Add a vibrating couples ring to add extra stimulation.
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The Oral Apex
How to Do It: Try it with oral. The receiver leans over, holding their upper body up with their arms and hands, while the giver sits on a chair beside them and lifts the receiver’s legs. The giver puts the receiver’s legs over their shoulders for oral. (You can try it with the giver standing, but this is more Cirque du Soleil.)
Pros: A completely new angle, plus the sensation of floating oral.
Cons: It can be hard to maintain the position. If you like the angle but not the lifting, try a sex wedge under the receiver’s hips.
Switch It Up: Try long tongue licks up the length of the vulva while sliding a finger inside the vagina.
Make It Hotter: Amp up the stimulation with a vibrating butt plug for the receiver.
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