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If youâre on the fence about whether or not to have sex during your period because of cramps, consider this: âHaving sex during your menstrual cycle can be particularly pleasurable and comes with many benefits, such as higher arousal and desire, more lubrication, and a stronger connection with a partner,â says Shannon Chavez, licensed psychologist, and K-Yâs sex therapist. âSexual activity also releases hormones that can help alleviate pain. Orgasm releases feel-good chemicals like oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphinsâour bodyâs natural painkillersâthat can ease discomfort from menstrual cramps and bloating.â
If youâre still cramping hard despite the helpful brain chemicals, you can obvi lay off the sexing and go curl up in the corner with a heating pad. Whatever works for you! Or you could try a few other things, like...
Non-penetrative sex
âUse the time to experiment with âoutercourse,â or different types of sexual play that don't involve intercourse, such as sensual massage, deep passionate kissing, and oral stimulation of other body parts,â says Chavez.
Have a warm soak
âSex in a warm bath or shower may help with cramps since the warmth relaxes muscles,â says Alyssa Dweck, MD, FACOG, INTIMINAâs sexual and reproductive health expert.
Learn more about your cramps
âEvery person is different, and which positions feel comfortable may vary based on the intensity of your cramps, pelvic pathology like fibroids or endometriosis, and the position of your uterus,â says Taraneh Shirazian, MD, board-certified gynecologist and medical ambassador to Bonafide. If your cramps are still really painful, check with your gyno. (While youâre figuring it out, here are some positions to try when sex is painful.)
Have a toss with yourself
Not that you need a reminder, but⌠masturbate! âIt can alleviate menstrual cramps and puts you in control of your own pleasure without feeling self-conscious,â says Chavez. A wank can help with everything from cramps, to bloating, to back pain, according to Womanizerâs 2020 Menstrubation Study.
Ibuprofen, or another over-the-counter painkiller
âTry ibuprofen one hour prior to intercourse to reduce cramps in advance,â says ob-gyn Kim Langdon, MD.
To make sex with cramps as easy and pleasurable as possible, throw down a period sex blanket (old towels work too) and have a look at these sex positions for menstrual cramps.
Elevated Butterfly
âThereâs a reason why weâre asked to place our feet in stirrups and scoot to the end of the table during a pelvic exam. This position allows the legs to relax, and the vagina to open,â says Kristy Gilbraith, RN, aka The Menstrual Maven⢠and founder of FLOH Wear by UndiesLoft.com. âFor this position, place a pillow under the buttocks, turn longways if relief for the lower back is needed (place a towel underneath, in case things get messy), and butterfly the legs for easy relaxed entry."
Shark Week Scissor
âIf cramps are raging, but that sexy feeling is there, scissoring is a great option for sexual stimulation with or without penetration,â said Gilbraith. âBonus for this position is itâs accessible for those with physical limitations of both upper and lower body strength.â If youâre into it, you can also fire up a toy for a buzzy threesome.
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Drama Queen
Put one foot on the seat of a chair, and lean forward with your arms crossed on the back of the chair, resting your head on your arms. âThis position allows for the lower back to relax and stretch, while also allowing the vagina to have greater exposure due to the hiked leg,â says Gilbraith. Youâll also have greater exposure if you want to use a clitoral vibe. âThis position is also great for someone with a tilted pelvis, which can sometimes make sex uncomfortable in general. Bonus is that it can also be done in the shower with a bench.â Easy clean-up!
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Betty Boop
If you're cramping, hard, lie on your back with your legs straight up or crossed in the air. âIt's calming and also helps circulation to the ladybits,â says ob-gyn Heather Bartos, MD. âThis feels great on the back, allows for pelvic tilt which can diminish cramps and also can chill you out. It just feels relaxing too and we all need that during shark week.â
Yogic Missionary
âSometimes on your cycle, you just want to feel relaxed and lazy,â says Dr. Bartos, speaking for us all. She recommends a position inspired by the Reclined Bound Angle yoga pose where you're on your back Ă la missionary, but with your knees bent and feet pressed together. âThis can help PMS symptoms too. Since youâre leaning back into the pose, your abdominal muscles relax which can help ease cramping.â
Clean Up in Aisle Three
Shower sex is a great starter pose for people who aren't sure about period sex, says Bartos. âNormally, women donât love sex in the shower as water tends to make the vagina drier, but with the crimson tide surfing out, that isnât an issue," explains Dr. Bartos. For her patients, she also mentions that they can also direct the warm water directly on their back which can relax those nagging back cramps. A win-win!
Dr. Everything'll Be Alright
If you're extra crampy, lie on your side with your knees bent up in the universal "Ow, I have cramps" position. Have him kneel on the floor (use pillows if needed for height) and enter you that way and (hopefully) perform their cramp-healing penis/strap-on magic. The best thing about this is that you can just kind of lie there and be tended to. Quite frankly, this is how sex should always be.
Sailing the Crimson Tide
If you want to keep spillage to a minimum, get on your back, sister. (For the record, you're not ever, like, gushing blood. You lose only 4 to 12 teaspoonsânot tablespoonsâyour entire period.) Lie on your back and press your legs together, tilting your hips up to stem the tide. Your partner kneels with their legs on either side of you and sits back on their heels to enter. Once they're in, they can stay that way pushing forward, or lower their upper body onto yours. Either way, with your legs slightly more closed, it'll increase sensation for both of you.
Red Team Rocker
If you're a little squeamish and don't want the full-on biology of Being a Menstruating Person in full view, lie on your stomach with your hips propped up on a (towel-covered) pillow with your legs slightly spread. Your partner opens your legs slightly to enter you from behind. Feel free to rub yourself with your hand, grind against a pillow, or pop a bullet vibe between your legs. Sexy yet oddly comforting.
Ride The Cotton Pony
Avoid the whole area entirely by going anal. (You can even leave your tampon in if you want. Woooo!) Stick that sexy bum of yours high up in the air, with your head down and a cheek (your face cheek) pressed to the mattress. Loop your arms back behind your knees. Your partner holds on to your hips and makes their way in, bum-side. (Usual anal rules apply: lube, go slow, and more lube.) They can rub your clit or hold a vibe onto you as they thrust.
Ragtown Rumble
Embrace the hell out of Mother Nature by just reveling in it. Hop aboard â to increase your flow, dammit â and ride the hell out your partner. Go feral and do as you please. If some blood leaks out, all the better. Periods are normal and it's high time they get the fuck over it.
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