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Bad sex with yourself isn’t really a thing because you, my friend, are amazing in bed. You know what you like, you’re hot AF, and you’re conveniently-located. And while, yes, a solo sesh is a solid route to orgasm, it’s also a chance to explore what feels good. These masturbation positions will help you discover some new ways to do just that.
Plus, masturbation is legit good for you, can help with PMS symptoms, and can serve as an opportunity to just let yourself go. “There’s no worrying about what you look or sound like, and no thinking about the satisfaction or wants of anyone other than yourself, which makes it a great venue to explore your body and discover the different ways you can turn yourself on,” says Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland.
What happens between you and you is completely judgement-free. “Nobody needs to know what you do when you’re by yourself—it’s your body, no one else’s. Try new techniques or explore different kinks to see if they’re your cup of tea,” says Finn. If you’re usually clit-focused with your stimulation, experiment with some internal sensations, or vice versa! Try an arousal gel, use your other hand, or fire up a new sex toy. Ob-gyn Renée Hilliard, MD recommends experimenting with different speeds of touch and stroking. “You can pinch, tap, go up and down, side to side, make circles using a whole hand or just one or two fingers. Try cupping the vulva with your hand and making hip circles,” she says.
Ready to get down with a consensual hand or toy? Lube up a handful of these masturbation positions and show yourself a good time.
It’s a Grind
If you want the feeling of a sex machine but don’t ~quite~ have sex machine money on you, recreate the sensation with a smaller, budget option. There are flat versions for traditional grinding and newer models that have a protruding part to add a penetrative element (some even thrust!). Just lube it up, press the "on" button and hop aboard.
SHOP NOW The Midnight Rider Vibrating Grinder With Remote, $65, Adam & Eve
A Plus
The A-spot (aka anterior fornix erogenous zone, aka the female prostate, aka who knew?) is a sensitive spot deep inside the vagina that can heighten arousal, lubrication and orgasm. You can use your fingers to find the area—it’s on the top of the vagina and next to the cervix—and apply firm pressure. This alone might not take you all the way, so add whatever clit stimulation you need.
SHOP NOWENIGMA™ Double Sonic, $261.75, Lelo
The Wet Sesh
If you want a change-up or just need some privacy, enjoy the glory that is solo shower sex. “If you always masturbate in bed, take some waterproof toys into the shower for an extra wet ménage à moi,” says Sarah Riccio, queer sex educator and cofounder of Delicto.com. Grab something sturdy, fire up your toy, and hang on.
SHOP NOW Playboy Pleasure Tap That G-Spot Vibrator, $112, Lovers
You Drive You Crazy
Try solo edging by getting yourself close to the point of orgasm, then stopping right before you actually cum. “Every time you do it, you build the intensity of the sensations, so by the time you let yourself go, it’s like a freight train,” says sex expert Piri Miller, founder of couples sex toy company Come Play. Toys with intermittent rhythms can also give an edging-like experience. Find a pattern that gives you a period of high-quality, OMG-I’m-going-to-cum stimulation, then cruelly switches to another pattern. Repeat til you can’t take it.
SHOP NOW OG Sucking Vibrator, $50, Tracy’s Dog
The Travel Size
For on-the-go orgasms, you need stealth, portability, and sometimes, TBH, speed. Your hand is always there for you, but if you’re a toy kind of person, stash a fun-sized vibrator in your luggage or bag, so if the need arises, you’re prepared. Hey man, no one said you need two people to join the Mile High Club.
SHOP NOW Magic Wand Micro, $65, Good Vibes
Hump Day, Every Day
If you’re a humper, give your well-loved stuffed animal or pillow a day or two off with a toy specifically designed for the grinders among us. “There has been a lot of interest on the market for grinding sex toys, and they’re super popular for those who love the motion of humping or the sensation of friction as a way to please themselves,” says Finn. Just lie on top of one and you can hump away as usual, while enjoying the bonus of vibrations.
SHOP NOWVibePad, $109, Babeland
This Is Only a Test
Remember: Orgasms are great, but you shouldn’t feel pressure to have one as a sign of a great solo sesh—or as a sign of great sex in general. Some folks who struggle to get there might be dealing with mental and physical blocks, says Finn, who suggests using your masturbation time as a sort of science lab, trying different types of touches, speeds, and rhythms. “Allow yourself to let go, to focus on your body and its natural reactions, to take your time and move at your own pace. Listen to how your body reacts, and allow yourself to recognize what feels good and chase that sensation, following whatever motions keep those good feelings going.”
Solo Cowgirl
Like grinding and feeling spendy? “The Cowgirl is worth the splurge,” says Finn. “It comes with an attachment that perfect for grinding.” We know it’s pricey ($1,750!), but think of less like a sex toy and more like a sex machine. You straddle the half cylinder in the Cowgirl position, then fire it up and hang the hell on.
SHOP NOW The Cowgirl, $1750, Babeland
So Jacked Up
You can repurpose your sex toys to be exciting new lovers. “If you normally masturbate using a vibrator, try playing with it without turning it on, or experiment with cupping your hands around your most sensitive areas. If you haven’t considered exploring your entire body for pleasure, use a soft vibrating toy over your stomach, breasts, legs and arms,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist at Astroglide
SHOP NOW Smart Wand 2, Lelo, $199
The Side Spoon
“Lie on your side with a toy or your hands between your legs. Squeeze your thighs together for extra friction,” says O’Reilly. If you want something a little more subtle, “butterfly your legs in and out while closely tuning into the subtle sensations outside as your vaginal lips and thighs come together and inside the vagina.” says Hilliard.
SHOP NOW Magic Wand Mini, $89, Babeland
Squat Thrusts
Squatting helps with internal stimulation, says Hilliard. If your thighs start burning, go ahead and kneel instead. “Saddle up and ride pillows, neck rolls, furniture, rolled up towels, stuffed animals, yoga balls, or insert toys like dildos and vibrators.
SHOP NOW Vush Myth Vibrator, $139, Good Vibes
Selfie Sticks
If one vibrating toy is great, imagine three. Get yourself a buzzy clit toy, a throbby internal vibrator, and a rumbly anal plug and fire them up. Get toys that stay put in your bum and vagina so you can attend to your clit as needed. (If things are sliding out, keep them in place with some consenting pillows.)
SHOP NOW Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Clitoral Stimulator, $75, Lovehoney
SHOP NOW Vibrating Butt Plug, $35, Lovehoney
Opposite Day
Meet your new lover—your other hand. Just by using your other hand, you’ll be more focused and attentive and a bit charmingly awkward, just like an entertaining new hookup.
Lively Up Yourself
Adding a CBD serum can enhance your lonely island in multiple ways. It can increase blood flow to fun sexual parts for deeper arousal, and its anti-inflammatory properties tamp down sexual pain. Plus, you’re supposed to rub it in for like 10 to 15 minutes, which can serve as foreplay in and of itself. Use that time to tease yourself, experiment, and really notice what’s happening with your body.
SHOP NOW Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD, $48, Foria
Let It Flow, Let It Flow
If you have mobility limitations or haven’t mastered the tub yoga required to angle yourself way down by the bathtub faucet, try spout/slide device that attaches to the faucet to get the water where it needs to go. Test the water for temperature, lie back and open your legs to receive the glory. Adjust the flow or scootch around for more/less intense stimulation.
SHOP NOW The Water Slyde Aquatic Stimulator, $35, Lovability
The Hand Hump
Lube up your fingers, lie on your belly, and have your way with your hand. Rock your hips onto it, grind against it or slide up and down. If you’re feeling it, try both hands at once, using the weight of your body to put more pressure on your clit.
The Minimalist
If you take the time, you can get super attuned to even the subtlest touch. Lean back on a comfortable pillow because you’re going to be doing some ~experiments~. Tap your clit lightly, make tiny circles around it with a single lubed finger, cup your hand over your whole vulva and rub. Or try what you normally do, but suuuuper slowly. Slide a finger inside of your V and slowly pulse onto it by squeezing your pelvic floor muscles and doing Kegels. Don’t race toward orgasm—I know! So hard!—but let yourself really feel what’s happening.
The Easy O
Some toys are so friggin’ good, all you can to do is succumb to the glory of a fully automated, hands-free fuck. Lie back on the couch with a toy that either thrusts or massages you internally while buzzing your clit, while you watch the best labor-saving device ever attend to its duties. Yes, this is the laziest, most literally masturbatory thing you could possibly do. So what?
SHOP NOW Greedy Girl Rabbit Thruster, $70, Adam & Eve
The Party for One
If you have roommates but need a quickie, like, now, hit the bathroom and lock the door. Wrap a powerful wand vibrator in a towel to tame that beast and muffle its noise. Press your makeshift lover between your hips and the sink. Rock back and forth against it or find a perfect spot and press against it. Afterwards, the towel doubles as a secret wand-hiding device.
The Slide Dish
Leave no hole unfilled by experimenting with some butt stuff. Lie on your side like a one-person spoon, lube up two fingers and slide them up and down along either side of your clit. As you get close to orgasm, hold back, then add in a dildo or finger inside of your vagina. When that is about to do you in, slide a butt plug in back and see if that does anything for you. If it doesn’t, slide it out, no harm done. If it does, well, enjoy!
SHOP NOW Glas Purple Rain Ribbed Glass Dildo, $25, Adam and Eve
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