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If you and your partner are planning on hooking up with another couple or are looking at a more general four-person group sex situation, youâre going to need some really great foursome sex positions that are a) super hot for everyone involved, b) actually doable, and c) donât leave anyone sitting alone on the sidelines. (Unless theyâre a voyeur, then thatâs perfect.)
But before anyone starts getting naked, here are some ways to make it a great experience for everyone.
Talk about how itâs all going to go down
âFolks who are already partners should talk and agree on your boundaries, means of communication while you're in the thick of it (What if you need to stop? How will you communicate about that?), and desires,â says Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations and curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum. âThen, do a version of this with all four of you before getting to it! Make sure safer sex strategies, health questions, and dearly-wished-for fantasies are on the table beforehand and that you can, you know, talk to these people you're about to f*ck!â She also recommends taking a look at the book Playing Well With Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams.
Communicate during the sex
âCheck in with one another regularly. A simple âDoes this feel good?â can be a good start,â says Jess OâReilly, PhD, resident sexologist at Astroglide. âSome other options for what to say: âDo you want more of this?â âYou good?â âShow me how.ââ
Practice safe sex
Have a bunch of safe sex supplies on hand (condoms, dental dams, finger condoms) for body parts and toys. âMake sure you change out your barriers every time you get involved with a different person. Do not use a barrier more than once a person,â says Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers.
Check in with yourself
âIn the end, whatâs important is to enjoy the experience. If youâre not enjoying it at all, donât keep going just to please your partner or the rest of the group. This is a situation in which you have to absolutely be selfish and decide for yourself,â says Nina Nguyen, a sex and LGBTQ+ expert, speaker, and cofounder of Fraulila.de, a German LGBTQ+ sex and relationships platform.
Got all that? Okay, now you can get naked. Here are some foursome sex positions to try out.
The Mirror, Mirror
If one, or both, or either of the couples arenât sure theyâre comfortable touching the other couple, opt for a mirrored position, says Nguyen. âTry the classic doggy position, with the two receivers facing each other, very close together, and the two penetrating people also facing each other. The receivers also have the opportunity to exchange passionate kisses if they wish.â Bonus: Everyone gets to see whatâs going on.
The Multitasker
Make one (lucky) person the center of attention. They get penetrated with a penis or dildo, while giving oral sex to a third person, and stimulating the fourth with hands or a sex toy, says Nguyen.
The All Hands On You
Want all the attention (and body parts) on you, without also having to split your attention between receiving and giving? Suggest the 3-on-1. âOne person lies in the middle and the other three pleasure their body from head to toe using their hands, lips, tongues, toys, chests, genitals and more!â suggests OâReilly. You can arm everyone with finger vibes for exploring every part.
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The Icebreaker
If youâre all new to group sex and donât really know where to start, get the party going with a game. One couple instructs the other as to what they should do. If everyoneâs super new and awkward, go ahead and start with kissing, then ask them to lick a nipple, then give oral. From there, you can just freeform it and start doing what theyâre doing, switch off so theyâre telling you what to do, or, if youâve agreed to mix couples, instruct the other couple to start doing something to you.
The Off to The Races
If youâre feeling competitive, mount up and have side-by-side sex in cowgirl position. (Reverse cowgirl works too!) âIf you want to make a game of this and actually race, ride until someone orgasms. Losers finish each other off with oral or keep racing until all have had an orgasm,â says Courtney R. Padjen, PhD, LAMFT, and owner, director, and sex and relationships therapist at the Centre for Sexual Wellness.
The Cuck-a-Doodle-Doo
Indulge a mega cuckholding fantasy (when someone gets off by watching someone have sex with their partner) by having two people have sex with one person while their partner (the designated cuck) gets to watch. âOptional to switch off who watches,â says Padjen. Try a double penetration scenario with one person lying on their side getting penetrated from the front and the back.
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I Choo-Choo-Choose You
To get right to it, everyone gets on all fours in a straight line. âAll four kneel to provide pleasure from behind. This might involve reaching around to stroke and fondle, or it might involve penetration with a penis or strap-on. The choice is yours! Just be sure to rotate so the caboose gets their fair share!â says OâReilly. When you get close to the station, so to speak, a powerful vibe is great for any vulvas involved.
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The V Quad
If all four of you have vulvas, âthatâs perfect for power play,â says Ruby Payne, sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky. âHave one saddle up and go reverse cowgirl on a strap-on. The cowgirl can stimulate the third with finger and palm action, and the fourth can lower themselves onto the third to receive orgasm-inducing oral.â Got that? No? âS okay. âIt sounds complex, but just let yourself go and find your perfect position in the moment.â
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