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7 Best Sex Positions for Beginners That’ll Make Your First Time Super Comfortable

(And also feel really d*mn good.)

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@LUCYMACARONI

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Having sex for the first time can be both scary and exciting at the same time, but don’t worry! You have control over your experience and there are several ways to make it feel both good (like, really good) and comfortable, starting with the easy beginner sex positions we’ve put together for you here.

“Since first time sex can be new and a bit awkward, the best positions don’t apply too much pressure on the bedroom buddies,” says Heather Bartos, MD. So if you’re low-key (or high-key) freaking about what goes where, being naked in front of someone, and whether you’re doing it “right,” pause and take a few deep cleansing breaths.

Remember: There is no “right.” Beginner sex is often awkward. Heck, sex can be awkward no matter how much experience you have! There may be queefs, parts going in the wrong holes, and fumbling that happens when anyone tries something new. It’s all totally normal.

It’s also important to accept that sex isn’t always going to look or sound like the porn, or erotica, or Netflix romances you've seen before. Again, normal! “It usually takes time to cultivate connection and arousal; you don’t just deliver a pizza and end up bent over the kitchen table,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, ASTROGLIDE’s resident sexologist. “In real life, sex doesn’t always require a hard penis. Bodies are often squished together in ways that feel good as opposed to perfectly positioned in a manner that looks good to the camera. Sex isn’t always penetrative, it’s not always long-lasting, it’s not always loud and intense. Orgasms aren’t always earth-shattering and our sounds may be more varied and animalistic.” Basically, expectations don’t always equal reality, so don’t worry if your first time isn’t exactly how you always envisioned it.

Pro tip: Before you have sex with someone else, get to know your body through self-pleasure. If something feels good, use it! Lube and toys are associated with better sex, so experiment with different options to find what works for you,” says O’Reilly. And of course, be safe. Enthusiastic consent is essential. Talk to your partner about your expectations and whether you’ve all been tested for STIs. And if a penis is involved, use condoms to protect against unwanted pregnancy and STIs.

If something goes awry, just have a laugh and roll with it! Take a break, reset, and try again. “Sex doesn’t have to be a ten out of ten every single time. Ditch the pressure so you can tune into the pleasure,” says O’Reilly.

Here are some starter positions to get you both going.

1

The Director’s Chair

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@LUCYMACARONI

For your first oral sexperience, try sitting down. “Most people lie on their backs during oral (especially when they’re new to it), but this can make it more difficult for their partner to go down on them, as they have to use their core and hands to support themselves,” says O’Reilly. This variation allows the giving partner to kneel and be face-to-face with your most sensitive parts. If you want to make the first time literally sweeter, try a flavored lube.

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2

Bedside Delivery

beginner sex positions
@LUCYMACARONI

When you think "first-time sex," it's easy to go straight to missionary, but there are plenty of other choices. Try having one person lying on a high bed, and the other person standing to slide inside, recommends O’Reilly. “Most people won’t begin with this position, but it’s a great beginner position if you’re new to penetration, as it provides easier access,” she says. If you want, add more stimulation with a vibrating penis ring.

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3

Spoons

beginner sex positions
@LUCYMACARONI

Beginner sex can be really sweet and loving, so lean into that (or rather lie into that) with the big ol’ hug that is the spooning position. “Lie on your sides, one behind the other. This one is great for full-body skin contact, as well as wandering hands,” says O’Reilly.

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4

Missionary

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@LUCYMACARONI

Wanna start slow? Enter: missionary. Everyone has the general idea of what to do, plus, missionary is just a damn good position! “Many people find that having the penetrative partner on top feels most comfortable when they’re just starting out. You can adjust angles for pleasure and comfort by bending your knees or adding pillows beneath your hips,” says O’Reilly.

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5

Cowrider

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@LUCYMACARONI

Being on top can be more orgasmic for people with vulvas because it gives them more control over the depth of penetration, speed, and angles, so don't be afraid to get on up there. If you want more clit stimulation, hand a toy to your partner and show them how you’d like them to use it on you. Try taking control in other positions too! “Oftentimes the penetrative partner takes on this role, but you may find more pleasure if you offer some guidance,” says O'Reilly.

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6

Mutual Masturbation

beginner sex positions
@LUCYMACARONI

A good sex position absolutely does not require penetration. Wanking together is also a sex position, and anyone can do it. You can each touch yourselves with hands or toys, or you can touch each other. If you’re going the self-touch route, try it so that each of you takes one end of the couch and leans against the arms facing each other. If you’re going to touch each other, bend your knees and scootch closer for better reach.

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7

Lazy Dog

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@LUCYMACARONI

If extended eye contact feels like a little too much for your first time, flip on your stomach for the lazy dog sex position. It’s like doggy, but a lying-down version that feels less intense. It’s also good for people who like to hump to orgasm, because you can slide a hand or toy against your vulva, grind away, and feel so so good.

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